I face problems in my head everyday. I wake up to a thought why I should'nt kill myself every fucking day. I've tried to seek help but the only cure is ganja. Ganja helps me keep intact with reality while keeping a good high that keeps me occupied. I dont know if I'm the only one who realizes this but ganja is the only drug that has helped me with this. I've done a ball of soft every now and then but that seems to make it worse. Ganja is truly the only substance that helps. I went through a very rough child-hood with my dad dieing and my mom hittin the pipe every night. I'm not looking for sympathy but morely advice. I might seem like a normal guy if you meet me but the shit I go through in my head is pretty fucked up. I can't seem to escape from some of the thoughts that re-lapse from my child-hood. I have the same dream every night of the night my mom woke me up cracked up at around 3 and kicking me out when I was a kid, around 14. She took my sister hostage and I had to come back the next day to find her locked in my basement with my mom sitting in her room screaming at herself. It's just fucked up to know that this shit happened to me. I also don't think I should need to rely on substance to ease my thoughts. I just wanted to know if any of you have any of the same situations. I also do think it's pretty pathetic to open up like this on an internet forum but I feel like you guys could help and I don't even have the balls to say any of this shit to even my closest friends. Word GC. P.S.-Sorry if I creaped anyone out.