Happy Boxing Day! Or are you supposed to say Merry Boxing Day? I don't get out much, help me out here. Did everybody live thru Christmas? I got a trampoline sitting out in the backyard waiting to be assembled. But the kids are staying with cousins for a few days, I got some KILLER weed right before the holidays, just did a wake and bake, sooooo..... I got a story to tell. It's about my wife. No, this is'nt one of those "Penthouse Forum" type of deals. Ya know, the "one time my girlfriend put my penis in her mouth" kinda thing? It's is'nt one of those, so if that's what you're looking for, you might as well stop reading now. So for the rest of you, I'll quit rambling now and get on with it. I appreciate all that falls to the wife/mother in the responsibility dept. of having a family. I understand that a woman can get side tracked with all the things she needs to think about. Throw in some good weed, and I can REALLY understand how a woman might get sidetracked! But.......I present three instances that are making me wonder if we should start looking for a good nursing home now. Case #1 She and the kids had taken her mother to the airport. My youngest was about 3 1/2 at the time. They were standing at the large window watching Mimi's jet leave, feeling kind of sentimental. As the jet took off, my wife took my youngest childs hand and started down the tarmac. As she was walking along, missing her mother, she heard a woman behind her saying, "EXCUSE ME!!! MA'AM!!! MA'AM!!!" As this persisted she finally turned to see what was going on. She noticed three things at once. The woman was hollaring at her, our youngest daughter was still standing at the window, and she did not recognize the child she was trying to lead out of the airport! The situation was quickly resolved and no Airport Security had to be called in. Case #2 A day of running errands with the kids was coming to a close with a quick stop at a QuickTrip for a gallon of milk. She had went in to grab it, telling the kids to wait in the car. She came out and got back into the car. As she was reaching to close the door, she saw our kid's in the car next to hers waving at her frantically! First impulse, "OMIGOD! THEY'RE BEING KIDNAPPED!" Second impulse, "OMIGOD! THEY'RE STEALING TAPE DECKS!" Third impulse, "OMIGOD! I'M IN THE WRONG CAR!" The third impulse was the correct one. In her defense, it was the exact same model, color, and year. Yeah, she drives a Honda, does'nt everyone? Which brings us to yesterday, also known as, Case #3 We were on our way back from the big city. We were tired, but also happy. We had just had a blast at my sister's house for Christmas and we had the ol' dugout with us. We went down a few side roads and had a couple of hits. They was good hits because we both got VERY high! We had to stop by the same QuickTrip to get some stuff. It was a very busy place, always is on Christmas day. Only place open in town. We had to park way down on the end of the parking lot. I was toasted so I waited in the car. By the time she came out, the parking lot had emptied out some. I could see all the way to the front door when she emerged. The nearest car was about five parking spaces away from me with a guy sitting in it. She should have just walked down the side walk to get in the car. But she started to step off the curb making me think she was going to try to put her stuff in the back seat, which was already full of X-mas goodies. But she turned even more and started to get in the car five spaces over! It did'nt even look like ours! In disbelief, I started honking the horn to get her attention, along with everyone else's in the parking lot. I caught her right as she her hand on the door handle! I could'nt tell if the guy in the car saw her or not, I was laughing my ass off! So, is she just preoccupied, or completely fried? Please be nice if you reply because she'll probably read this. She does have a heart of cold, er....I mean gold. And I've spent the last 16 years with her and still love her. I did'nt marry her for her mental capacities anyhow. Just looked like good breeding stock to me. OK. Now I'm in trouble. Happy Holidays all!
I'm going to post the fisrt thing that pops in my head. You are the luckiest man in the world with your mother-in-law living far enough away that she has to fly into town to see you. Man that is wonderful and I congratulate you on your good luck. But on a more somber note.... count your lucky stars that you have a good wife that you can share a laugh with. She did laugh with you when she got into the right car didn't she? Let me tell you about last night at my house. After spending the weekend at my moms and driving home and xmas, etc. we decide to go out to eat last night. We take off down the country road to the big city and I'm feeling FINE. There's one other car on the road and he's in front of me about a 1/4 mile up. The kids are in the back and they are playing with all kinds of toys, bells, whistles, lights, etc. The guy in front all of a sudden hits his breaks and pulls over to the side of the road. I get a little paranoid and wonder what's going on. I slow down but still coming up on him. Right as I get up to him I notice a blue light in my rear view mirror. OH SHIT!!! FUCKING BUSTED. Wrong! it was my son in the back seat playing with a super bright blue-beam flashlight that I got for xmas. Then I realize that this guy has pulled over because my son has been flashing this blue light in the backseat and the guy thinks I'm a cop. My wife is mortified thinking we are going to get in trouble for pulling over somebody. Me, I got the giggles. Merry Christmas!
Oh shit, my gut hurts from laughing so hard. **whew** (My boyfriend is over on the couch giving me funny looks right now)!!! Hmm, Smoki, is your wife blonde, by chance? I vote for fried, definitely. And if she's blonde, well, AHEM, that counts for a lot, too. I have no room to talk. I'm the blonde who always has to turn to her kid while walking out of Walmart and ask, "now, where did we park?" BPP, That is SO funny. Bet it definitely had the heart pumpin' there, for a minute! Added some excitement to the day, anyway.
