The wolves howl while the ravens take flight, their wings rustle like silk in the night. My steed gallops gallantly towards the sea while I clutch an arrow where my heart should be. The battle is lost, an insurmountable cost... but the strongest pain is knowing that she has chosen someone else over me. So kiss me coldly, Death, drain this life from my lips, Closer now to the water, I can just make out the ships... Any thoughts?
I like it, because the end was kinda unexpected. The clutch an arrow where my heart should be is nice! lol took a minute to get that one
In my mind it's about a mortally wounded soldier fleeing to the safety of his army's ships, but in his dieing breaths he laments over a love that left him for another.
I would much rather hear it read aloud, because that is the way I believe poetry should be done... as it gives the rhythm a better feel, I mean check it ta da da da ta da da da ta ta da da da, you have no idea whether or not I am using thirds, quarters, or half notes but I really did like the feel of it. sadly, very few people read through the artists corner and that is why there are few responses.