It's my senior year of high school, and I've had plans to go to college about an hour and a half away and move out and everything. However, being senior year, I have gone a little bit wild with my social life. Lots of drinking, and smoking weed. My parents went on my Facebook and saw a lot of messages about the things I've been doing, which I actually stopped doing more than a month ago, but obviously they have no reason to trust me anymore. And they're extremely religious and conservative. Before this, they trusted me completely and thought I was a great, religious, normal, sober kid that just hung out with friends a lot. I lied and snuck around a lot and I definitely broke any semblance of trust that could have been kept. The school I've planned on going to is known as a bit of a party school, and I understand why they're worried about that. But I can not stand living in this stupid small town with the same people and things here for much longer. I think it was a driving force in what I've been doing, how unhappy I am here. And they know this. But they're questioning sending me to college. They are paying for a lot of it, though I'm working and will be working in college to help pay tuition. And I completely understand where they're coming from. They have no reason to trust that I won't go back into any of that stuff. And they can see my mental health has been affected by how trapped I feel here. I just need to get out and be on my own and feel like I'm moving on and doing something significant with my life; I'm a really independent person and in a town this small, independence is difficult. I even offered, since the college isn't too far away, the suggestion that I could come home every two weeks or so to do laundry and take a drug test while I was here, to prove that I wasn't getting into anything anymore. They're not that mad about the drinking, they both drank a bit in high school and college. I just really can't stand staying here, I've been going insane. The only thing that's kept me remotely sane lately is the fact that I knew I was getting out in the fall. With that....I just keep thinking about how everything and everyone here stays the same and how many people end up staying here with their parents for so long and end up unhappy and unemployed. I need to get out to the city. I honestly think I'd be more likely to relapse into everything again if I stayed here. So my dad liked the suggestion about the drug tests, but they're still really undecided on whether they should send me. And the deadline to submit my intent to enroll is the 24th, so I don't exactly have much time to be able to prove that I'm done with all of that. My parents both went to the same school and want me to have the same experience and know how staying here affects me and want me to get out, but they don't want to risk me dropping out of college or getting bad grades and wasting money they're spending. Which I understand. Can you give me some advice on how to convince them? I honestly will go insane from living here much longer. And I've told them how I feel and what I think, I just need some way to convey to them how detrimental to my health staying here for any longer will be... Sorry about how long this was, haha. Have a lot on my mind... Also they took my tablet so I won't be on the internet much for a while
Graduate, get loans and a job, be your own man. Convince them of nothing but your ability to make your own way.
I can't afford college on my own. They're okay with paying for community college if I don't go to university, but if I did that they'd make me stay at home. If I wanted to move out before they thought I was "ready," they'd stop paying for college. And I could go out and go on my own...but I'd end up in debt after college and I'd be much more financially stable if I let my parents support me for a bit.
Tell them that you are old enough to go to war, so you should be fine an hour and a half away. Also offer up a drug test right now to show them that you have already started to change. If they know that you are going to be working and going to school either way, they should allow you to go and meet new people because you think it will improve the quality of your life.
As long as you accept their money you're going to be playing by their rules. As a parent myself I understand. You have options just not the ones you want, you'll probably notice that's a pattern throughout life.
if theyre paying for it there's nothing you can do to convince them. go where they want you to go. guaranteed generally every college/university has partiers my dude. and youll be down on the L smokin, bong hittin, psychedelic voyages, drunk adventures etc. etc. especially if you dorm but i feel you, i had such a little sense of independence when i was on the verge of graduating, it sucked pretty bad. just set some goals for yourself once you know your limitations and take it from there
Tell them the truth and that this is the time for you to find yourself and what you want out of life. The longer they hold you back the more they are preventing the inevitable and just hindering you. Everyone has a right to decide their path in life don't let them take yours.