Pimp my Recipe!

Hello guys . I was thinking about edibles today, and realized this thread must be made. Basically, one user (starting with me) will post a recipe with no marijuana, and the next user will try to either make it "special" or tell the first user there's no way. Then, *that* user can post a recipe, or the next user can, so on and so forth.

If this thread doesn't die immediately, we might end up with some unique edibles




Alright guys, my recipe is for Biltong. My mom was born in South Africa and ate this all the time. We just cant get it here in Texas the same way. It's very similar to beef jerky in very many ways. This is a simple recipe, and can make as much as you need. However, you will also need to construct a box, which is very easy and will be explained below.


Biltong Box:


First things first, we'll get our box constructed. Take 1 wide box, and seal the open part with masking tape. Do a whole revolution right through the middle of the box, so that no matter which side you're on, there will be masking tape in the middle. Stand the box upright (so that it's long) and on either side of the masking tape at the top, cut a 2 inch wide by 4 inch tall opening, so that you have 2 seperated by the strip of cardboard covered in masking tape. Now go to the bottom left side of the box and cut out a hole, you will place an electric fan here to give some airflow. On the other side of that, prick some holes, to let air come out but keep the spices in. Lastly, bend some sturdy wire (I used a coathanger) in an S shape, make two. Stick the top of the S wires on each one of the holes at the top, so you have 2 hooks, 1 per hole. That's it! Just hook an electric fan up, and if you line the bottom with paper towels, you can reuse it for one more batch.


Biltong:

This part is soo fun. You will need:

1lb or so of either London Broil, Silverside, or Topside beef. (See thickness below) AVOID FAT!

A very good amount of rock salt or sea salt. (basically, keep at least a cup. we wont use it all, but just in case) NOTHING IODIZED.

2 tbsp ground coriander or (WAY BETTER>) coriander seeds that have been dry roasted on a pan then crushed

1/2 tbsp any seasonings you want (I use curry powder, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, cocoa powder, and black pepper. Mixed together, they go sooo good in the biltong)

1/4 tsp Baking Soda (optional, but recommended. It makes the meat softer)

1/3 cup Apple Cider vinegar


Instructions:

Step 1: Thickness of yer meat

Choose the thickness of your meat wisely. Depending on what you use, you will eat it in the end different ways. If it's thickness is near 1cm, in the end you will eat it in 1 giant strip, like a bigass piece of jerky. If it's a 1 incher, you will slice it thinly in the end and eat it in bite sized pieces. These are the common ways to eat it.


Step 2: RUB YER MEAT

Take your piece of meat and slap it on a chopping board. Take a handful of salt and rub it in your meat. Pat it, punch it, whatever, until it's transparent. Keep adding, it might seem like a ton, but it will all get washed off. If you add too little, your meat will rot. Once you have a layer of salt covering the meat, do it again on the other side. Afterwards, stick it in a tupperware and refrigerate for 45 minutes. (This will drain the juice from the meat.)

Step 3: Wash yer meat

Get another tupperware and add your vinegar to it. It should just cover the surface. Take out your meat (drain the juice, and give the meat a squeeze) and then dunk it in the vinegar. Just flip it over and over like that 1 girl in your 8th grade pool party. Then run your fingers down the meat and get out all the salt. Once you've stroked it enough, drain out the vinegar from your tupperware, we're going to use it later.

Step 4: Spice yer meat

Take your meat and slap it down on a cutting board again. Combine the coriander, 1/2tbsp seasonings, and baking soda if using. Rub it all over, be generous, but don't use it all. Once it's covered the back and the front and all sides, cut the meat in half lengthwise so you get 2 strips of 2 inch meat. Now make sure to cover the place where you cut in seasoning too, so it's protected. Flop your 2 pieces of meat in that tupperware that had the vinegar, and leave it in the fridge for..*sob* 12 hours. This will marinate your meat.

Step 5: Hang yer meat

Wake up lazy, it's time to hang your meat. Get your biltong box and spear the hooks in the meat so they hang. Turn on the fan, and there. It's easy.

Step 6: Wait for yer meat

This part is important. If you want your meat to still be pink on the middle, but crunchy on the outside, wait 2 days. Wait 1 day if you're going to reheat it in a stew or something and finish cooking, because the middle will be rare. Wait 4 days for a fully dried Biltong, it will keep for quite a bit in a ziplock baggie, maybe 2 weeks or so. If your meat had any fat marbling, you had better eat it soon, because you will pay dearly for your cheapness. Marbled and fatty meat can go rancid within a day, prolong this with a fridge.


I hope you guys like my recipe! c:

 

No pic but here's a diagram