Passed a drug screen using male urine! (I'm a female)

I got on here just so I could detail how I used my boyfriend's urine to pass a drug screen. These forums were incredibly helpful to me, so I want to pay it forward to the other ladies out there who might be in this same situation.

Details: I had about a week to take a pre-employment drug screen. Thankfully I was given enough time to prepare for it. Here are the steps I used, in as much detail as possible, to successfully pass the test.

1) Acquire a 2-oz bottle, a thermometer (I used a meat thermometer, but just make sure it's waterproof), some lubricant and a bowl. Be very sure that you can open the bottle without many any noise. This means you want to actually screw the cap off and pour, rather than squirting the urine out. This is very important. Note: the actual plastic of the shampoo bottle I used was pretty thick, just like a normal bottle.

2) Wash the shampoo bottle out really well. You don't want traces of the shampoo in the bottle, but it doesn't have to be totally sterile or anything. I just ran it under hot water for about three minutes and shook the bottle a lot to ensure there were no bubbles.

3) Test the hell out of the temperature. Let me be clear: LABS CANNOT AND WILL NOT TEST FOR GENDER. They will, however, test the pH, creatinine level and specific gravity. So, fucking practice. Using my thermometer, I put some 99 degree tap water into the bottle, rubbed a little lubricant on the outside, and shoved it into my vagina. Then, I set the timer for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, the water was approximately 96.8 degrees. So, I put it back in there. After another 30, It was at 96.6 degrees. Vaginas are little built-in heaters.

4) Have the person donating their urine pee into a clean container. I had my boyfriend pee when he first woke up at about 8 a.m. since his urine was the most concentrated. I planned to go to the center when I actually needed to pee. So, you should still drink a ton of water to try and dilute your own pee. You'll see why later.

5) Pour the pee into the container. I found that 2 oz. was slightly more than what the facility needed, but I had no way of knowing how much urine they would need ahead of time. In fact, once I got there, I watched the lab tech tell another guy to fill the cup up about twice as full as mine. She divided his pee into two samples. Mine was only one.

7) Once you feel the urge to pee, hold it in. Go get the bowl or the mug or whatever. Fill it with hot water, drop the bottle of pee in for a few seconds, take it out and test the temp. Do this until it reaches about 101-ish degrees. Be very sure the bottle is leak proof.

8) Stick the bottle into your vagina. This is not comfortable. At all. So, be sure you can hold it in there. Wear a dress, wear Spanx, clench.

9) When you get to the drug testing facility, if you're doing a pre-employment screen, it will not be observed. However, I watched the lab tech stand in very close proximity to the bathroom, which is why being quiet is key.

10) Once you get into the bathroom, squat down and push to get the bottle out without any sound, almost like you're pooping. I practiced a few times at home and taking the bottle out while sitting on the toilet made a suction-y noise.

11) Here's why I said you need to go when you have to pee. No peeing sound is a little suspicious and you need sound to cover you. So, start to pee just as you begin to take the cap off. Then, take a little break as if you're peeing into the cup, maybe 10-15 seconds. During this break, pour the pee into the cup, trying hard to not make any squriting or bubbling noises with the bottle. A wider-mouth bottle will help this. Trust me, I tested several. Then once you've emptied the container, start peeing into the toilet again and screw the cap back on.

Note: there is a chance the urine you bring will not be enough. That's why I said get early morning urine from your donor. Your heavily diluted urine + their concentrated urine should still be enough to pass a drug screen without it throwing off the pH, creatinine or specific gravity tests. I actually tested this out. My urine did not pass home tests alone, but mixed half and half with my boyfriend's was fine and still perfectly yellow.

12) Once you're done, set the cup down on the sink and wipe. Then, stand up and squat down a little to insert the bottle back into its home. I also wore a sweatshirt and had planned to just tuck it into my sports bra between my boobs, but I felt like sticking back up there was just safer until I got into the car.

That's it! Let me know if you have questions. I got my results back in 24 hours and was negative for marijuana. I had my boyfriend stand outside of my bathroom door and listen for sound while I tested this process twice. For women, the temperature is not as much of an issue. Making noise is a big issue, so I cannot emphasize how important it is that you get quiet materials.

 

Yup, and now I've got a job with an excellent salary and stellar benefits. No pain, no gain.