Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Disclosure:

The statements in this forum have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are generated by non-professional writers. Any products described are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Website Disclosure:

This forum contains general information about diet, health and nutrition. The information is not advice and is not a substitute for advice from a healthcare professional.

Parents caught me, now about to go to jail

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by Badfish90, Mar 10, 2012.

  1. Wow, my life has taken a real 180 since this morning. Anyways here's what happened:

    My parents have been on vacation since last week and I've just been partying nonstop. Threw a few keggers at my place over the weekend but last night I decided just to chill. I called my parents and told them I was sleeping over at my girlfriend's house. Not to get derailed, but she kicked me out after she caught me flirting with her sister.

    I end up crashing back at my place and, this morning, I woke up really wanting to wake and bake. So, I got to my parent's master bedroom because it has the nice toilet to sit on and much bigger than the regular one.

    I'm sitting on the toilet, smoking a joint and notice that I've got morning wood. Feeling a little frisky, I start to jerk my chain. I guess I might've gotten really into it because I didn't hear my parents come home. This is when it gets bad.

    I never called my parents back to tell them I wasn't sleeping over and they assumed I wasn't at the house. That explains why they busted into the bathroom butt-naked. I quickly flush the joint down the toilet.

    It was a very awkward situation.

    They scream when they see my sitting there jacking off with a joint between my lips too. Mind you, my parents were about to do it, so my dad is fully erect. They start yelling at me - my mom about the weed and my dad about how I shouldn't use the master bathroom as my masturbation quarters. But that's not the end of it - the police barge in the door.

    Before I was a little embarrassed, but I'm pissed now. I asked my parents how they could call the police on their own son. They were just as shocked as me though because they said they didn't call the police. As it turns out, my next door neighbor saw my parents fooling around. His mom walked in on him peeping and called the police on my house!

    The police handcuff my parents for indecent exposure to a minor (the next door neighbor was 16). But, they add onto the charges, when they see me naked too. Now, my parents are being accused of incest too.

    Obviously, this fiasco caused quite a stir this morning in the neighborhood. Everybody came outside in their pajamas to see my parents being escorted into cop cars.

    To make it even more embarrassing, my dad still had a hard-on for some reason.

    This is why I'm writing to you GC, my parents are in a holding cell waiting for me to bail them out. But I'm wondering if I should. On one hand, they caught me smoking weed and masturbating at the same time. The car ride home will be very tense to say the least. On the other hand, they are my parents and they're being wrongfully charged as sex criminals.

    What should I do?
  2. I am so so sorry..

  3. Hate to sound so blunt but, you should bail them out.
  4. Haha your dad probably has viagra so he was hard for like 2 hours even at jail!

    Dude that sucks, is it on the news? I figured it would be
  5. It's more than likely that this didn't even happen, but I think it's pretty obvious that you have to bail them out. You're going to let your own parents serve years in prison just so you can avoid a "tense car ride?"
  6. Dude...

    I really hope youre trolling.

  7. I think I'm gonna wait to bail them out. I'll give them a night in the cell and hopefully they'll forget that I was smoking and jerking.

    That's my best option. If you got other suggestions, I'd like to hear them.
  8. bahaha get the fuck outta here

    crackin up
  9. this is possibly one of the funniest stories i have ever read. it is extremely unfortunate, and im sorry for you, but it is funny as hell.


  10. you bullshitting?
  11. Use their time in jail to finally beat 'n toke in peace. Then bail them out. I think they'd be more embarrassed than anything.
  12. What should you do? Little piece of advice for you...

    Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

    And realize that you just MIGHT be able to get out of this a little easier than you think. Realize that had you NOT been in the picture here AT ALL, your parents would still be sitting in jail for indecent exposure, so this chain of events was certainly NOT anything YOU exclusively triggered.

    Do the right thing and go help your parents. Ask them to not speak about it for the rest of the day out of respect for EVERYONE. Once you've all calmed down, hold a CALM discussion at the table the next day.

    Good luck with it.
  13. Bro, regardless of whether this story is true or not, it is epic. I would support more of your trolling if it meant I would get to read shit like this!
  14. Bail them out. They are your parents bro. Im pretty sure they will be grateful you bailed them out. That is if you arent trolling.
  15. You're messed up. Even if this was just copied and pasted...
  16. Hahaha this is fake right?

  17. This is good advice, maybe if I bail them out they'll go light on me. I might even be able to spin this the other way and get them to allow me to smoke whenever I want. Afterall, if I wasn't smoking in the bathroom, they wouldn't have me there to come help them... I guess, they wouldn't be getting accused of incest either though...

    I'm in such a pickle.
  18. Ahahahahahahaha omg I think I just died of laughter! You should definitely bail them out though, and it's their fault for trying to have sex in the bathroom when they could've used the bed.
  19. Was anyone else expecting the OP to turn into the Fresh Prince song or was it just me?

Share This Page