Okay-I'll try to make this short...

Discussion in 'General' started by stonie jo, Nov 15, 2001.

  1. ....HELP!!!

    It's another deal with one o' my yunguns. Sorry, that is my life basically...

    My 10 yr old was havin some attitude problems last year, which put him in a "special" class with other kids who had problems als-mostly learning disabilities. He had a time with this one boy and they had a incident in the boys bthroom at the end of the year. I had been gettin notes home from his teacher every day concerning his behavior, upon my request. When I got the note home about the fightmy son was punished accordingly and we went on. Before school started this fall, my son got pinned by the mother of the boy-I'll call her Bitchface, and her kids (the boy and his older sister). She was still pissed about my son pickin on her kid!! Anyway, they proceeded to kick the shit outta him, everytime he'd try to get away the sis would herd him back. This went on for awhile. The nieghbors even taped it!! Well, long story short I DID NOT go kick her ass which I still to this day want to do. I don't really feel like the cops or the states att. are dealing with this the way it should be. It's been two months and she's just now goin to court...the kid is still harrassing my son at school....I've been to the school, I guess they're doin all they can...it's not a huge school, though....my ol' man thinks I'm overreacting and that I'm gonna end up gettin myself in trouble 'cause I smoke pot and he thinks my son might slip and nark me out since he knows....I feel like I need a lawyer but I can't really afford one....I've found smokin a bowl doesn't make me feel any better about this at all....
    What do I do???
    Shine yer light on me stonie buddies.......
  2. get your son a self defence class not a laywer!they well pick on him as long as he lets them and they think they are safe doing it!he my think that you well punish him for fighting if he is in the right!not to attack but in defence of once self or others!this well take time to run its corse get him started now why he is young!he must be able to give what he gets! if you can not teach him,to force someone to back away with out herting them badly let some one that can,i am a artist of 14 belts 12 blackand 27 years in the arts,it my even teach you more about your son and who he is going to be!good luck tazz11
  3. Tazzz, the thing is he can defend himself. I TOLD him not to fight especially with this kid, since he's like disabled and all. Yeah, my son could easily have the label "Bully" because of his readiness to fight and his history of threatining the other kids. I don't want him to think violence is his answer to his problems. And I've told him a million times if he ever hit a girl I would kill him......I think maybe I should be a little more specific. Yes I want him to be able to defend himself-and I feel he can do this-no problem. I was also tryin to show him that some things are better solved through the legal system but once again my gut instinct (total annhilation to Bitchface) was probly the appropriate action. He doesn't need to know how to kick anyone's ass-this little momma has already taken care of that.....I just feel like he thinks once again I don't know what I'm talkin about 'cause this kid is still gettin away with this shit and Bitchface......and when he gets in trouble the punshment is stiff and swift.
    Ya see?
  4. judge judy
  5. Well, I read your post early this morning....too early for me to engage the ol' brain. Now, I think I might have a suggestion.

    If it were me, I would insist on a meeting with the mother and the children, and teachers and principal. Show your kid that things have a potential to be resolved through communicating, not violence. Show bitchface that, too, hopefully. Maybe clearing the air will help. If that doesn't work, then hunt her down at night and swiftly, surrepticiously.....kick her fucking ass! Be sure to wear a ski mask, though.

    Bottom line-get all of you in the same room together, and TALK about it...although bitchface doesn't sound like a very reasonable person. That's what I would do, though.
  6. Listen fightings bad and all, but when you're being fucked with having your mom go to court isn't the solution. I'm not saying to have your son get in fights all the time, but just stand up for himself, fight back. There's a big difference there. Even now, I'm a freshman in college and there's still kids we make fun of. We would stop, but the ones that get made fun of never do anything. They never stand up and just say "y'know? you're an asshole, fuck you. I'm leaving." If someone's fucking with you, you just have to give it back. It's just the way things work all throughout life, not just in middle school.
  7. Jeesh, I hate to weigh in on stuff like this 'cause I'm not there and can't read the situation. After shit like Columbine, I'm just hesitant to advise, unless I know all the parties involved. But I don't want you to think I'm ducking this one!


    I think I'm with Spliff.

    Don't start the fight, but damn sure finish it. Let the school know how it's gonna be. If he starts the fight, then punish him, if they start the fight, let him do the punishing.

    But most of all, don't live like a second class citizen just because you smoke pot! Don't let it keep you from pursuing your rights! That's exactly what they want us to do.

    I'll stop for I get off on a ramble.

    Good luck.
    Hope it all works out smooth.
  8. The me in me says,,,,bust em up.

    The parent in me says,,,, let's work this out reasonably.

    The 10 year old boy in me says,,,,ma you got to let me pop this cat in the mouth and show all the other guy's that hang with him,,,that I am not going to be pushed around the rest of my school days.I gotta kick his butt now!.

    As smokinokie said,,,,Teach him not to start fights,,but finish them quickly and with a message that others can see his defense for himself.

    My 10 year old daughter just 3 weeks ago was involved in an incident at school. A bigger boy pushed her into a locker for whatever reason,,(she is not an instigator of trouble or fights by no means),,,when she was against the locker she shifted her hip and footswept him to the floor yelling that he does not do that to girls,and to have more respect. She was not disciplined by the school,,he was. The principal said that my daughter handled it very well....When talking to her afterward she says that boy has been doing that awhile to other people and it may have been her turn. Suddenly within this time ,,this boy no longer acts the same way to the other kids,,and he stays clear of my girl...

    I think Sometimes we as parents may have to watch a little more and intervene only when needed absolute...schoolyard politics is cruel...they continue to test the boundry even more amongst themselves.

    I don't know if all this ink helped but maybe you can get something from that experience.....peace...good luck

  9. Well, it's been a few days and I've had a little time to cool off.

    My son has been pissed since the day he was born. I think he was feeling my emotins to my husband (his father) at the time. By the time he was born our marriage was over. We split up when he was probly only 3 months old. He's had this horrible attitude since he could raise his head and bash it on the (carpeted) floor. He's always been hard headed and stubborn. He also misses the hell out of his dad. His dad is the world record holder for the biggest deadbeat dad. My oldest son learned a long time ago not to put much faith in his fathers promises. My middle son is finally starting to realize it. I finally got tired of trying to make up lame excuses for why he never came or didn't send anything on his birthday or the holidays. It got to where when he did com and get them, I'd find out when they got home he'd been drivin around drunk with them in the back of his truck. I finally started saying what was true. I tried not to be harsh about it but after a while it would just piss me off. Anyway the middle son looks just like his dad and for a long time acted like his dad. I think he's finally come to realize he doesn't want to end up like that. It's been a long road for him........

    Smoknokie.....I have already had the columbine scenario in my head. I'm not giving up on my son ever under any circumstances because of those things. He's really got a good heart (like his momma) and I can see him changing his behavior every day.

    Thanks you guys....it was all just buildin up in me-ya know? Thanks for lettin me vent and for the good words.

    Stonygurl that's a good idea. Actually I usually go to these meetings once every other month or so with his teachers, so we can all compare notes. The last one I went to they were all raving at how much he had improved-that was overlooking math which they figured out they were teachin him 3rd grade math last year, in 4th grade. It's a small school as I said-they all know me and I know all of them. As a matter of fact his teacher this year was my teacher in 4th grade also!!! I figure I'll pull a surprise attack on them Monday (no school today). That will give me time to get my speech ready!!!

    Thanks again you guys...........
  10. i was 12 i saw a man cokeing a lady almost to death in front of a store,i was in my older brothes car looking out the window! i held for him to leave her alone ,i started to cry i thaught he was killing her , her face was red with blood from the back of her head ,where he was pushing her head to the stone wall,right then my older brother came out of the store and saw what was happening with two finger he threw that fucker out in the parking lot! the man yeld something back at my brother and try to attack him ,my brother hit him about 40 times i 10 secs and the man fell like a rock ,not hert bad just stuned,the cops pulled up and i thaught they were going to arest him, they didnt! they arested the man that was herting the women,they talked to my brother and thanked him for his helping her,at that time i was so prode of him! they new my brother a veitnam vet,and a 2 degree black belt in manis ,kung fu,after that day i never forgot what it is to step in and defined some one beging hert! i ask my brother if he would teach me and we studyed threw the years till 87 when he die ! yes, i have never liked herting anyone ,but the rath of the good are sometime far ahand when needed and the week fall to the siner ,and i am prode of my brother to this day!!tazz11
  11. Yeah, Tazz.... too bad there aren't people out there like that anymore......they wont help or stop it but they'll sure as hell videotape it!!!!
  12. dont knock the footish! we all fall part to that but its the one that acts to help someone that earns the honor!i know 14 matels, 17 ribons! and thank you! lol
  13. Wow I hate to hear about really crappy things happening to good kids. It sucks that the mother got involved and beat the crap out of your son Stonie Jo, you should have called the cops right then and there (probably did) and she SHOULD have gone to jail for child abuse.
    But if the law isn't working for you, then try to reason with the bitchface herself. Not kick her ass, though, after reading that story I was all down to kick some ass too.
    I say go down to that school, set up a meeting with the teachers/principals/and both families, and have a phat sit-down. I don't know if this bitchface will reason with you, but if she doesn't, she'll have to be unreasonable in front of the educators of your children, who are SUPPOSED to protect their students. If she throws a fit, then maybe she'll prove herself as a true bitchface, and her son will be penalized with detention or something. If nothing is resolved, and it continues, start going to school board meetings, and ask to speak at the meetings about the lack of your school's interest to protect your son. Mention that educator's jobs are to maintain schools as safehouses for children, and you do not feel that your child is safe at school anymore. That always gets the attention of the public, because if your town is like my old small town, there's a journalist at every meeting, and they'll write about it in the local paper. Heehee. I know I'm politically evil, but if the nice way doesn't work, go public with it - it's THEIR consequence, not yours. Request a meeting with the Superintendent, and just keep your cool.

    That should work. If it doesn't then keep going up the ladder until someone listens, and they all get busted for not doing their jobs.

    And, have your kid fight back. Let him throw a punch, two, just enough to defend himself. If he gets penalized, then complain to the district.

    Don't worry about being a pothead, as long as you're not stoned in the meetings, it is totally irrelevant to the situation, and IF it is even brought up by bitchface, say that and carry on...

    Good luck and let us know if everything turns out ok!
    God bless and much love for you and your family stonie jo~~
  14. yes your very right as you found out ! it should only be done if your shore of the fights direction and its members and your abillity to defend your self as well as the other members involed! what you just said had had a tone of truth for me as well as a broken windsheld!good luck tazz11

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