I know this is cliche and I wasn't sure where to post this but I really like this forum the best out of every forum on GC so I will post it here. I have a problem with OCD and I think I'm going crazy...for a few years now I have been praying at night before bed to God to ask/wish for certain things and to ward off bad things. The thing is I am not religious at all but I fear God will punish me if I don't pray for certain things in certain orders...an example is if I forget to pray that no one in my family has a heart attack I have to pray for that later in the night and also wish for good health for my myself and family after. Another quick example: I always say "amen" after my prayer but if I have any type of negative thought I always repeat the prayer, out loud, because I fear because I had a negative thought while saying "amen" that God will somehow sin me. I'm not asking for help or anything like that but I just wanted to get this off my chest because I feel like a mental patient even though I lead a relatively "normal" life. It's just bizarre b/c I know rationally that God will not sin me but I just can't help but to keep praying over and over again the same things...I really can't sleep if I don't pray like this. So do I have OCD? I assume I do because these are "rituals" I suppose. I have Zoloft on hand because my doctor is treating my for depression but I haven't taken any yet because I really do not like pills. I haven't taken one Zoloft yet even though I've had them for a couple weeks. Will the Zoloft help my OCD? Sorry for the long thread...
I'm not religious but if it has to do with prayer why don't you just talk to a priest/minister/whatever your church has? You don't have to be religious to ask some guy a question about praying, and as a religious person he will definately make you feel better. And yeah, if your doctor tells you 'take this' you should probably take it, i don't see why you would even ask that. And i think you are being far to hard on yourself with the whole prayer thing, i don't think its OCD because thats much different to my understanding, but i do think that you should think about your prayer. You shouldn't say prayers unless you really mean them, not because your afraid not to pray. Think about what your saying, and if you really mean it then god doesn't care if a bad thought comes into your head accidentally, hes god. If hes that much of a dick he can be someone elses god i don't want him.
You're absolutely right, I say them more b/c I fear the repercussions and what "could happen to my family" if I don't say them. I don't know how this came about because this is really the only OCD tendency I have ever had. I also forgot to mention that I can't repeat a prayer 3 times b/c I fear the number 3 for some reason...no idea why. Maybe I am saying these prayers because I am also a hypochondriac? Any other hypochondriac's out there that have similar experiences? lol.
yea dude . you definitly got ocd. i have it very mildly, and it nearly ever effects my life now.. but for example like when i was younger.... when i went to bed.. i would always have the thought that i didnt lock the doors or shut like the bathroom faucet all the way off.. then i would get up and check then go back to me bed.. lay there for like five minutes.. than have the feeling that somehow i maybe didnt turn off the water or lock the doors like what i did before was all in my head.. then i would have to get up and check again... then repeat.. but i pretty much got over it by saying to myself... look your shut it off ..... and so what if you didnt. just tell yourself sure i can do this.. or i can not do it and not have any negative effects.. hope that helpss...
It actually does sound very OCD like to me. Praying for certain things in certain orders, repeating the prayer if you have a negative thought. Very ritualistic sounding, for lack of a better word. You're thinking God will punish you if you don't do these things exactly right. Basically, if you mess up even one small part of the ritual, 'something' bad will happen. What that something is could be entirely vague, but terrifying none the less. Your mind probably knows that these thoughts are irrational; that messing up the order in which you pray, forgetting to do it, etc, is not going to have an effect on what will happen in your life, but at the same time there's the voice saying "what if it does?" So you keep doing it. Because how bad would you feel if you forgot, and something bad happened, right? Any of that sound familiar? If it does, you can join my club. I don't do the praying thing, but I've got my fair share of OCD weirdness.
Yes, you put that into words much better than I ever could. Everything you said is what I am thinking as I am saying these "prayers." It's the "what if it does" that scares me the most into repeating the prayers over and over until it "feels right." I can't describe what that means but it just does...and if I don't "feel right" with my prayers than I can't fall asleep and dread something bad will happen. I guess we're in the same boat?
Don't worry, there's a lot of us in this boat. It does help to use sheer willpower though. I used to have a really bad problem with... well... moving things, I guess. Not really organizing, because there was no real organization to it, but if I walked by a shirt on the ground and it just wasn't laying the right way I'd have to move the sleeve, or turn it over, or whatever it needed to be in the "right" place. Even though the "right" place really made no sense whatsoever. At times I could have spent a good 15 minutes just arranging things on the coffee table. Turn the pack of cigarettes about 10 degrees counter clockwise, make sure the calendar is lined up perfectly with the edge of the table, move the ashtray 2 inches to the left.. you get the idea. Sometimes you just have to stop and tell yourself "nope, not going to do it this time, I'm going to move on to something else and nothing bad is going to happen." It takes time. Small steps. You can't stop every bit of the ritual at once. I still do a lot of the random organization shit, and various other OCD things (checking to make sure my hair straightener is unplugged about 3 or 4 times before I leave the house, for instance), but the more control I take, the less control it has. Any questions or advice you have about it, GC is here for ya.
lol...I just did a google search on my "symptoms" and discovered that there is a form of OCD called Scrupulosity in which people fear sin so they have to pray. This seems to be what is afflicting me. It is a form of OCD and affects approximately 10% of all people who have OCD. Here is the article if anyone cares to read it...it's kind of interesting but this is what I'm going through. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/Story?id=4546594&page=1 what separates me from other people with that after breif research is that I am not religious at all yet I am suffering from this. the human mind is crazy.
hey thanks for taking the time to share your experiences as well. Willpower is definitely key here and tonight, before I go to bed, I will try to tell myself that it is completely irrational what I am doing and makes no sense. A poster above made a great point which I can put to use right away..."If God does indeed sin me for not doing pointless things like that than I don't want him as my God." I will think about that before bedtime tonight to help rationalize my thoughts.
Let us know how it goes. Keep in touch through PM if you want to. I've been dealing with the annoyances of OCD for quite a while now, so I definitely understand where you're comin' from.
i used to do pretty much the same thing. when i was little i had this really long drawn out prayer where i would pray for all these individual things for different people and i would say certain words a certain number of times, but then i was like dude, this is insane, and i shortened it to some standard prayer and then another line that pretty much encapsulated everything good you could pray for and encompassed everyone in the entire world lol. if it makes you uncomfortable, you just have to face it head on like you would any other problem. i also used to be pretty compulsive about biting skin off my fingers but once i became aware of what i was doing and started making the effort to stop, i was done biting my hands within a couple weeks. it's all about recognizing whatever problem and taking the initiative to re-direct it or just squash it all together.
If you aren't religious, but still are afraid of GOD, then you can only blame it on those damn Catholics forcing their moral values and beliefs on everyone. Or the Jews. Sorry... I'm no help.
who doesn't have OCD these days? I've been acused of it... but sometimes there really is more than meets the eye. Most people just don't realize that there is more to this world than the 3rd dimension... It's difficult to be yourself, when society says its wrong.
Someone said awhile ago it is selfish not to be grateful to society for creating us... We create it too, though...