Stay strong, I heard this quote the other day that goes "God only places burdens on those who can carry them" and even though I'm not religious or whatever it made a lot of sense to me. You sound like a tough person with a good heart, that's a rare gift to have.
hey man I always notice your posts , Hope shit starts lookin up for you man , staying positive is the number one thing I supose
Damn man that sucks a big ole dick, I honestly don't know what to tell you, can you function like move your arm if you can try and get a small job I guess any way stay strong
+rep homie, you said some real shit. I used to flip out about my sister, but I have come to terms I just have to "adapt" to it just like I have to adapt to my disabled lifestyle. She's my best friend, her and my mommy. Im a mommas boy, I know my place in life. Its just all fucked up man I don't even know what to type haha. That 1 guy really nailed it on the head, I forgot the Username, but to make the best of it and adapt. Im going to start writing, because I already make music but I want to get real. If anybody wants to see my YoUTube page or send me a Facebook request, I love talking to blades. Just DM me for that, too sketched out you know? Even though I'm legal for legit reasons (which is why I say please don't take advantage of the MMJ system because theres many people like me and others that need it for legit reasons. she hooked up with every 1 of my best friends I've made here, and I'm a GOOD homie, but if your broke & gonna have me smoke you out all the time when I REALLY need this as medicine, you will never hear from me again. See, I love fuckin bitches, but it has never been a main priority in my life. Im 20, a girl broke my heart early on in high school, I have had sex with 4 girls & I'm happy with that. A lot of girls really like that about me, they all call me "unique". Whenever I'm at a party (from the past) I'm always the guy girls come up to because they know I'm not trying to mack on them and shit. I wait for the girls to come to me, trust me, it works, but back to the story. I don't really care about that, I would NEVER do that to the homies that fucked my sister if they had sisters. Fuck everybody yo, I'm ridin solo for now. All I need is my mom, my MMJ, and my sister. Its just so fucked up to see these dudes take advantage of her & all the shit I KNOW that goes on because I have a 6th sense from many previous Unmentionable trips. My house got raided, I can't even go into that man it will take 5 pages. Im just confused.
Composing music is awesome, and I liked your idea about a screen play. There is no reason why you can't excel at either of those interests. Maybe that is just what you need to do to let it out. You do not have to do it all at once, maybe just a chapter or a paragraph when you feel like it until it is done. If you wish to post it online, start a thread and add to it as you wish. When the past it purged out of your head, print out a copy and burn it. Or toss the pages into a lake or the ocean. Release it. It can be a very powerful affirming exercise. Peace.
my spelling is a little off, took a couple rips even though I'm on a tolerance break, took a few of my prescribed anxiety medication EditLEASE READ ALL, I'm writing a book about my life as a whiteboy in the suburbs 8 I'm gonna take the next 2 hours to write out everything from my life 14-and up...you guys will be amazed Thanks for the kind words man, but like I said in the OP, read everything I wrote thoroughly. I have to wear a STRAIGHT JACKET to bed at night to prevent dislocations. My mom has put back in over the past 5 years over 500 dislocations on EACH shoulder. Im going to try to fax the MRI and Catscan up here to this computer so you guys can read how FUCKED UP I really am. & the doctors are sketched because they said they have never seen shoulders like mine in my life, it ended up being GENETICS! The first time it happened was when i was 14 underwater and you know the when you go under water then above its like a weird weight thing? My shoulder popped out for the first time, we were like wtf? my mom got it back in, ever since, its progressively gotten worse. OH WAIT! I forgot the best part. I moved to Cali at the end of JUly for MMJ so i didn't have to live a pain addictive life on painkillers. I have had some really amazing Unmentionable experiences that changed my life and let me find out who I was, and I am 1 wit the universe. I also thought that shit was so good for you, like cannabis opened my mind up similarly to those, but the week before i left I decided to buy a quarter of unmentionable trippy shit & have a nice last week after all the years in that town I spent (that would be a book, you all would read it to but people get mad when I write big posts.) I ate the first 8th, i was all good had a great time, then 2 days before were gonna move on my sisters 8tjj grade graduation, I fuckik had a SEIZURE after trip pin all night, but it didnt happen during the trip, it was the morning, like 6 AM cuz i was supposed to go with her. I go upstairs to take a shower, all of a sudden in the blink of an eye theres all cops and ambulance in the kitchen with me naked, 2 dislocated shoulders (most excruciating pain EVER) so I'm trying to piece my brain back together like yo mom what happened i don't get it. She whispers in my ear "Do you think I'm dumb? I said you had a convulsion in the bathroom coming doom from those unmentionables, she heard a huge fall and she thought i fell and hit my shoulders, so she runs in, sees me convulsing sticks her hand in my mouth and saves my life. Crazy life man, this is what I meen when I wanna type so much stuff. I did unmentionable trippy shit my whole life & always had amazing experiences, but my mom told me that even though its harmless, it does do things to your brain good and bad. Its all my prescribed oxy use before I moved when I didn't have MMJ. So I guess my chemicals in my brain are all odd.
Well if it mean's anything you made me feel better about my shitty life, I don't have any disabilites, but im poor as fuck and fucked up from too many drugs.
Hang in there, I know how you feel. I was almost completely crippled before I had 2 hip implants. I had accepted not being able to walk more than 50 feet at a time and being in constant pain for years. The medical industry is making huge gains in orthopedic care and you are a young person, don't let it get to you, keep looking for an answer, and watch out for those meds that shit will really fuck you up...good luck...
I'm sorta right there with you dude. I have nerve damage from smoking a massive amount of spice in a drunken state of mind 2 years ago. Every day I'm in pain and I can't enjoy weed like I used to because weed puts me in more pain. I still smoke but it's just an uncomfortable high every time. One week my chest will hurt, the next week my face will be numb, the next week my feet will be numb. It's an endless cycle of fuck. But stay strong. All you can do is pray you'll get better. I do that every day. I know I'll get out of this shitstorm of pain, depression, and anxiety soon. I'm only 19 and feel like I'm 60. It sucks but I have hope. Keep your head up broski.
Shit may seem rough now homie but theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to have as active of a life as others, but that doesnt mean you should throw up your hands and give up. Use the anger and depreasion to fuel you to make a better life for yourself. find something that you take pride in and stick with it. So you obviously live in norcal right? What part, im in the bay area. Maybe we could burn sometime. You take it easy man, try and enjoy yourself and the loving people around you like your mom and sis