Let me start off by saying I'm 22, a virgin, never had a girlfriend. So went to a bar last night and was talking to a girl for awhile. She was nice and everything, and we talked for awhile. But I don't know what to do past that. I mean we stopped talking when a friend of mine (using the term loosely) walks up between us and starts trying to talk to her. I had to use the restroom at that moment anyway so I just said I'd brb and left. When I came back she had left so I started talking to another friend of mine, and then she came back a few minutes later with a less attractive friend, I'm assuming for the first friend of mine who was annoying. So the annoying friend of mine managed to chase her off a second time, and after this I didn't get a chance to talk to her. She was actually supposed to be selling shirts I think, and was busy. Plus I was rather drunk and high at this point. My roommates asked me this morning why I didn't persue her any further but I didn't know what to do. One of them said I should have tried to put my arm around her and kiss her, but I wasn't really getting that kind of vibe. I mean I was interested but I don't know if she was. And doing that seems like it would be coming on strong anyways. But I'm not sure...any thoughts?
Def shouldn't have put your armed around her and kissed her. But you should have at least made it known that you wanted her. Too bad your douche friend ran them away.. Maybe next you go to that bar, you will see her. Don't pass up that chance
Don't worry so much. If you spend all your time thinking about what you ought to do next, the thing that you'll actually end up doing is standing around passively and not saying or doing anything more interesting than filling space until somebody else shows up to grab her attention--or until she can find an excise to get out of there. Be in the moment more. Act, don't think about acting and debate with yourself over it until the chance is missed. I don't mean to be harsh, but given the story you told, You weren't unsure of the next move, because you hadn't made any in the first place. Look, when you're talking to girls, don't be thinking about how you're 22 and a virgin, or how you want a girlfriend, or how you really hope she'll start to like you. Be thinking about what's actually going on. It's much more rewarding, you can actually enjoy the flirting, and you won't come off all nervous and needy that way. And in general, trying to jump through hurdles to fit into whatever you imagine to be some chick's standards won't get you anything but depressed. Try instead to speak with her on more equal terms, and decide whether if she's good/interesting/clever/etc enough for you. Nothing bores a girl faster than being fawned over--if she's stunning enough that everyone fawns over her, she'll think you're just another boring average guy, and if she isn't, she'll wonder what's wrong with you to make you so awkward and needy.
that whole thing came off sounding harsher and douchier than I meant. the message I mostly wanted to say was "don't worry so much." The worrying seems like your biggest pitfall.
this is awesome because i just had an epiphany of sorts that is pretty much exactly what you're talking about. i though way too much about what i should do and i never freakin did anything, and this applied to girls i KNEW liked me. but for the OP, just try to keep things in perspective and remember it's just another person. don't be afraid to say the wrong thing, just go into each situation with good intentions and be yourself.
I wasn't really worried about that when I was actually talking to her, it's more that after we left the bar and this morning too, my roommates have been asking me what happened and why I didn't do anything. I tried to explain but they keep making it sound like I missed an opportunity.