so back when i graduated HS in '07 i was arguably one of the best athletes in the school, i left town and went to a state school with my best friend, where i made tons of awesome friends, and had the attention of the very hottest girls on campus. it felt good being me. Second Semester Freshman Year: felony arrest possession of controlled substance Result: half of 19th birthday in jail, $10,000 student loan for state fines/lawyer fees, 2 weeks sentencing in county, 2 years probation, expelled from school. Summer '08: begin to fall into an increasingly deep state of psychosis, start to detach from reality, stop picking up phone calls from friends/girl friends/everybody. develop severe clinical depression, suicidal ideation, extreme anxiety, prolonged episodes of derealization, and an overall hatred for myself, for fucking up my life. 2011: (gets past mental shit), epiphany that i can still achieve greatness. i'm keith fuckin' (last name) afterall. then i realize something. it's been 3 years. i haven't done anything but smoke weed with pathetic cartman esque losers who hate everything because they probably have small penises. I go down the list: i have no money, no job, a $30,000 bill from a student loan, 15 college credits (probably don't count anymore), no friends, no gf, no school, no sports (sports were the best part of my life), no other hobbies (i have to quit smoking weed, it's become evil in my life), i'm reaaaallly out of shape, i've lost muscle in all the good places, and gained fat in all the bad places. i have no one to turn to, and no where to start except to sit in my room and wait for a job offer. i feel super-ashamed that i became weak enough to let this all happen, i know that one day i'll have my glory ten-fold, but in the mean time......this is a huuuuge fucking mountain. i mean i actually used to be a really cool guy, i had a lot of things going for me, more than most, and to be this now is just.....mind fucking. i left everyone i cared about behind with my old self, so i have no one to talk to. so i guess that's why i'm sharing this with the internet idk??? honestly, i guess i have nothing better to do. so there it is. don't feel too bad about yourself. i know what it's like to have "white people problems", so for a second put that shit aside and feel good about yourself after reading my story. (so far) the fuck am i gonna do now....?? haha this is hilariously lame. i should've gotten sober a long time ago
First try to feel good about yourself by exercising/working out. It works. I swear by it. Get healthy. Go and apply to as many jobs that you can everyday. Once you get a job, you'll start meeting new people there and develop social connections. Keep your chin up.
I agree with the 2nd post. Sitting around in self-pity won't get you anywhere. Sounds like you know what you need to do... put it in action. Start tomorrow. It won't be easy... going to have to work extra hard, and keep a positive mindset. Best of luck to you.
I did something similarly to that but I stayed in school to get my grades up avoided some heavy charges by a wink. That individual who you used to be is still floating around in there you just need to break off all the bull shit and get to where you can be.
Dude.. shit's tough. But trust me when I say you can flip this around completely. You know what got me around from a bad road a long time ago? No joke, listen to Joe Rogan on youtube [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH1wevLdMRs]YouTube - You're a Fucking Human Being - Joe Rogan and Daft Punk[/ame]
yah that's about all you can do. everythings online these days. monster, careerbuilder, theres a job fair tomorrow, i got a side job lined up for this weekend, but that's goin straight to bills. shits fucked my brother. damn right. i'm so ready. i look at it like this: i've got a whole new frame to build, a degree to get, a bank account to fill, and a 1980 Cutlass Brougham in the garage just beggin to be restored. things aren't so bad. i feel like shit will fall in place if i just get out the way.
Your credits will still count and are likely transferrable. You also probably will qualify for Pell grants. Once you start school again (Comm.Coll?) the student loans can be deferred again. This is still true - 2011: (gets past mental shit), epiphany that i can still achieve greatness. The only one that can hold you back is you. If you have the will there will be a way. Don't take that to mean everyday will be easy, because we all know it wont be, but hang in there and do it.
youre only as weak as you let your self become. get to the gym excerize is known to decrease stress levels and that might be exactly what you need. Its a good way to detatch your self from reality for a time being and focusing on what you want. Depression is tough but if you have the will, you will over come it whether it be through the aid of medication or various forms of change. Just call up an old girl friend and just talk on the phone for a while you may find you have more in common then you thought.
Just hit up some of your old friends and ask if they wanna hang out... what's the worst that can happen? What school did you go to? If you can't go back, try getting into a local community college. Try getting FAFSA and get your GE credits. Go from there. Good luck bro.
Just wait until your 5th year. I graduated 06. I only now decided to do something with my life. One year in the making, and Im just now getting somewhere You arent alone man
Yes I think you should try and get back into school because your loans will be deferred if you haven't already began paying them back. Look into community colleges they should be cheaper. But its just mind over matter, seriously. Once you get in the mind set of "yes I CAN get back to where I was and I WILL" then there is no holding you back. I know its a huge mountain to overcome to get you where you want to be, and a lot of waiting but the only way to get over that mountain is by taking it one step at a time. You should start by working out, getting your body back to where you want it to be. The endorphins will make you feel good too. Join a gym maybe and there you can meet people and make some workout friends. Try your hardest to get back into school, you will definitely meet people and it will give you something to focus on until you find a job. I think everyone has that dark period where they sit back and think wow what the fuck have been doing with my life?? I really think we are our own greatest enemies, but we can also be our own greatest fan. Seriously just get out there and take life by the horns and don't stop until you get what you want. Fuck what you've done in the past, its time for you to embark on a great future!
Well, it sounds like you need to change something around. Press harder to find a job, stack some cash, meet some people. Go to school, meet more people, get education ???? PROFIT I'm in your same boat.
can you go back to a 4 year university, or was being expelled too much to get back into another? honestly, your best bet is to go back to school man. guarantee your life will improve if you go back to college. greatest years of our lives are those 4 years.