Never being good enough...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Marijuana Kamui, Oct 18, 2014.

  1. Hey blades and bladies I've kinda been down lately because of memories. You see back in high school I got rejected alot and it always seemed that I was never good enough. I'm a heavyset dude. I get that but getting rejected 158 times can cripple a mans confidence. I'm pretty confident nowadays but still I strike out. I don't know if I'm likeable at all anymore. Just really doubting myself right now..I don't know anymore :(
    You have to be sure to like/love yourself before you can worry about others..
    High school is the same anywhere.. cliques/separation .. You can't let prepubescent assholes leave a mark on how you feel about yourself.
    and remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
    live life happy and healthy, the love with follow.
  3. 1) create your own value system

    2) find a dating site that shares your value system

    3) ???

    4) theesome with supermodels
  4. #4 Carne Seca, Oct 18, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2014
    What you need to do is find you a gym you feel comfortable in and start toning up that body and not for the reasons you think.  When I first met my fiance (long embarrassing story involving the police and me in my spongebob squarepants boxer briefs) he was a heavy set guy.  He knew I was fit because he saw most of my body in our first encounter.  He asked what I did to stay fit and we started working out together.  The first time we had a romp in the hay he was heavyset.  I didn't give a shit.  He's a beautiful man.  He wanted to improve his health so I agreed to help him.  
    During that first sexual interlude I could tell he was ashamed of how he looked and it was awkward.  I tried my best to convince him that it didn't matter to me.  The discomfort radiated from him.  He had no confidence and lacked self-esteem.  I taught him how to eat to live rather than live to eat.  All natural foods nothing processed, no gluten.  Gluten is poison.  I started him out slowly on cardio and weight training.  I wanted exercise to be something enjoyable rather than painful.  I stepped up the reps and distances as he dropped the weight.
    As he lost the weight his demeanor and confidence changed.  For the better.  I made him take pics at each stage so he could compare the results.  When temptation hit I would drag out the old pics and show them to him.  It was a good way to motivate and inspire.  He is so happy and so confident.  I've also noticed that he gets a lot of attention now from men and women.  I have to beat them off with a stick.
    I supported him every step of the way and made sure that he knew it didn't matter how he looked for me.  I loved him regardless.  He did it for himself and his future health.  His family has a history of diabetes and he was terrified of heading down that same path.  
    Now he's a beast!  He's my ginger god.  I call him the Ginger Avenger.  
    You only have one life and you should make it the best life you can.  Let go of the past and all the rejections.  Write down a list of goals that you wish to achieve.  Then break them down to manageable sections.  You're not going to get six pack abs right away so focus on something that is realistic.  Lose five pounds.  Don't set a time limit.  That's the wrong approach.  Lose weight in a way that will keep the weight off on a long term basis.  No fad diets or starvation.   Eat six small meals per day.  Keep your body fueled so you won't have insane cravings at two in the morning.  Eat smart.  No portions bigger than your fist.  Balance the meals.  Stay away from processed sugar and anything containing HFCS (high fructose corn syrup).  Your body cannot process HFCS and it wrecks your metabolism.  
    Monitor everything you put in your mouth.  Write it down.   At least until healthy eating becomes an unconscious habit.  That was the hardest thing for my fiance.  Sometimes he would binge on junk food and then feel incredibly guilty.  I nipped that in the bud.  I told him that indulgence every now and then is not going to hurt anything. BUT.  I told him to pay attention to his body and how it reacted to the junk food.  He found that his body became sluggish and he felt like shit.  He realized it wasn't worth it.  He hasn't done it since.  Besides real food is so much more delicious than all that processed shit.  
    Find something that you're good at (guitar, piano, singing, skeet shooting, cow tipping or whatever) and get better at it. Or. Find something that you've always wanted to do and do it.  My goal was playing the mandolin.  I love bluegrass.  I taught myself how to play.  I'm pretty damned good at it.  Strive to be the best.  This will also boost your confidence level.  Instead of wanting to look good, be confident, for someone else be that for yourself.  Only you can change this but you have to put the hours in to attain it just like anything else.  It's all up to you.  Put your love life on the back burner for now and work on you.  Everything will fall into place on its own.   It's not going to be easy.  Nothing worthwhile ever is.. but... BUT the sense of accomplishment is worth every drop of sweat.  
    Personally, I think you can do it.   :)
  5. ^ all well said, just do you and keep your head up. Never give up no matter how dark things seem. 
  6. Follow these steps

    1. MAN UP
    2. man up
    3. Get your shit together
    4. MAN UP
  7. Try cialis.
  8. I went through wait problems. I feel you, and I think unless other people have had the same problem, they don't get it.
    I think the best thing to do, is not look for a girlfriend or anything. And being down on yourself isn't attractive. Just don't give a fuck, even if you're only acting, and just be happy with yourself. If you feel you wanna lose weight, get to it. Find something you like doing. Don't let others opinions of you and bad luck meeting girls affect your sense of self. Honestly, acting like you want to be a girls boyfriend is only going to be appealing to like 5-10% of girls, and half of those are cray. Just act like you're the shit, and people will start seeing you that way. 
  9. #9 LoveisKind, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    You will be happy eventually. It takes patience to be with the right person. Think about this, do you think couples from high school are still together now? I highly doubt that since most people in high school change and go their separate ways.
  10. #10 KingOfPoland, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    Well, the best advice I can give you is...take advantage of your best traits and own up to them. Buy some nice clothes that compliment your assets and don't apologize for the only body you've got.
    Eat well. Good quality foods ONLY and go easy on the bread. Don't avoid what you love, just limit the junk. Get some dietary lessons from the slim and proper Frenchmen. At least, that works for me. :) Hope I helped. It's not hard at all to keep a proper form so long as you have a healthy relationship with food and yourself.
    [​IMG] Not to sound harsh, but overeating and eating too much junk isn't showing people that you have respect for yourself. You only live once, you should take pride in your healthiest form. Hope this helped. If you want any more tips I've plenty. Best of luck to ya!
  11. Lower your standards for what you want in a woman. You will get it.

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