Need some advice about this, not sure what to do.

Ok so basically, I broke up with this girl 4-5 months ago, i was with her for 2 and a half years, we broke up once before for 4 months and got back together. she treated me pretty badly i can't lie, but it got better the second time we were together, even if it was only for about 6 months that last time, and i fucked it up. we got into this zone where we were fighting all the time again, and i was always stoned (this is the difference, before we broke up the first time, i didnt smoke nearly as much), i've been smoking for almost 2 years now, and i don't plan on giving it up just because it really helps me with my depression and everything else. But anyways, I was high and wasn't giving a shit at the time, and she said something she had said before we broke up the first time, not going to go into it. but it made me snap, i flipped out, stopped talking for her for 2 days, and fucked this other girl. I told her about it the next day, got slapped shit broken in my house etc.. i mean i kinda feel like i deserved it, but everyone else thinks i made a good decision. cause none of my friends or family like her at this point..

But I've been dating a ton of other chicks, none of them feel right whatsoever. I don't even want to commit to these girls, I just want the ex back. But I don't know if I should try contacting the ex, because maybe we're just bad for eachother, i don't know. I just know I miss her A LOT.

What should I do, try and contact her, or just leave the past in the past and hope I find someone that will make me feel the way she did, even though its starting to seem impossible. Cause I can't hold a relationship to save my life anymore..

Also we haven't spoken for months, and she currently has a thing with some other guy, and i'm in a relationship with some girl i really don't care for anymore. And our families hate eachother, and us. As well as our friends.

 

Thanks for the advice, you're probably right to be honest..