Okay well I don't know if this is the place to put this and all, and I know i might get flamed by some people but oh well... So, theres this girl I work with, I found out she smoked and I started talking to her. Things went on for a while and we went on a few burn rides. Now its got to the point where she usually just comes over to my house 3-5 days out of the week and spends the night after we smoke and chill. Now I never had a girlfriend before, but thats because I never really felt attracted to anyone throughout high school, but this girl is really different. But the problem is, she doesn't want a boyfriend or anything (part of the reason I found out from my mom because they became like best friends, is that she thinks she's too unattractive to everyone.) But everyone that knows her loves her, she's just that kind of girl. Very free spirited (hates drinking, loves bud ) and just fun as hell to be around. When we are at my house I can't think of much to do besides smoke. And sometimes there are these odd moments of silence when no one says anything for a few minutes. Since I have no experience with dating, could anyone please help? I will provide as much information as possible. I just want to know how I can take this any further. Thanks.
Just be yourself man. Whatever you do, don't be someone you are not. Make sure you show her that you have confidence, because that's what girls really like. And a good sense of humor doesn't always hurt. If you wanna take things further than just a smoke buddy, invite her to a movie or dinner once a week or something. It really isn't that hard unless you make it be that way. Good luck with her though, she seems like she's definately interested in you, hopefully not just as friends. On a side note, when she spends the night where does she sleep? On your bed?
Thanks for the advice. I try to be myself all the time. And I do try to make humor out of as many things as possible. But the thing about confidence is, its hard for me because I don't really have any experience at all. Oh, and she always sleeps on the couch (but she also always wants to) while I sleep on another couch in the room.
Haha, I've had those moments of silence while smoking with a girl I like. You realize neither one of you has said anything for like 3 minutes and you both just start giggling. Awkward as hell. And you could invite her to anything really, especially since smoking makes most everything fun. You've got movies, amusement parks, disc golf (or similar outside activities), etc. I would try that before going for a more official type date. EDIT: And don't be crushed if it doesn't work out. There was this one girl who I started to blaze with sometimes and I really thought we were going somewhere, especially because it was the first girl I had ever blazed with and liked, but after we got drunk and made out and I slept in her bed, we just kind of realized that friends would work better. It's not a bad thing, just a different kind of relationship (and easier since we have that sex stuff behind us)
Ya, this town sucks though, all we really have is the movies. I've taken her to a headshop a few times and she loved it. But it really seems like things are going no-where, just kind of stuck where its at.
coming from a girl i would say that i agree invite her for a dinner and or watch a movie you can even watch it while you smoke / high be funny dont be serious and talk about common intrest and just share stories and get to know one another. I mean thats the best way.
Well here's a tip. Sometime soon, have a solo smoke session. While you're high, analyze the situation. Think about what she has said/done and how you think she feels about you. Then try to use context clues from how she acts to see where you should go next. I think smoking is a great way to inspect details from life and come to pretty damn good conclusions, especially when it comes to girls...
Ya I really havent ever had time to smoke with her alone. My brother is always here and he always wants to smoke and I really can't tell him no. It almost happened last night, but she got stuck in another town with her friend. She kept telling me how much it sucked and how she kept trying to leave. But Im not to sure what she feels about me. I mean she has said that she loves me a few times, but definately in a friend type of way.
Bit of a red flag there... How old is she/you? I'm going to say that her saying that is not a good thing, at least until I hear further info.
tell your brother about the situation tell him to stop cock blocking at least for a few days so you can get inside of her head, And if she says i love you while she high dont automatically take it as a friendship thing. ((My boy friend and i used to be bestfriends for 2 years and we got together and things are still going on with him 2 yrs and counting when i said i love you to him sometimes i ment it more than friends but he never pick up the signals turns out he liked me too)). If there is silence just say something random like hey did you hear __________ did you see_____________ insert someting witty in there.
Ya I guess I could do that. Its just weird sometimes. What are some things I should look for (signals?) then?
Touchy feely things like hugs and pointless reasons to grab your hand play with your hair. If she looks for any excuse to takl to you see you randomdly smiles alot for no reason Sometimes if we are nervous we dont know what to say = awkward silence that and we dont want to look stupid. Get her a nice little gift if you can.. maybe a nice glass pipe.
Touchy feely things like hugs and pointless reasons to grab your hand play with your hair See thats the thing, none of this ever happens at all.. thats what makes it so weird. I wish it would though...
but thats like more than average florting. Do you think she might be interested? Have you thoought about asking her friends what she thinks of you or something?
Ya but the thing is, theres no hugging, touching or flirting at all. I really don't know if she's interested or not. But I seriously think about her ALL the time. She really is special to me. As for her friends, she only really has two very close friends and I only manage to see one of them every once in a while but we are friends too. And her friend knows that I like this girl, but thats about all I know.
Okay, in the spirit of research I got very high and decided to try to read between the lines of your posts to see what's going on. Is this a plausible scenario? She thinks you're cute (not the good one), sweet, maybe even dorky? She really does like hanging out with you and she might even like that she knows she is making you nervous, but dating you isn't really something she wants to do right now. If you don't push it though, the friendship could blossom into something more, perhaps without her even knowing it. I might have just pulled that out of my ass though...
If i were you i would consider talking to one of her friends just to get some feedback. Maybe you can ask them about somethign special you can do for her that she would really appricate so you can show her you care. and if she so buddy buddy with your mom ask your mom what she thinks. I mean i know its a mom but still their not blind. Just see if you can hang out with her just by yourself and if she asks wheres your brother multiple times in the session than shes not interested in you as more than just a friend.
Thats seems kind of right, I mean she is even having me help her with her summer school when she starts (I graduatated summa cum laude), and we are even going to the same college together. I just need something to go on. I want to make this happen more than anything, seriously.