My thoughts on coke

Well this weekend was my first time trying coke, and naturally the first time I hung around with the coke crowd. The drugs effect on me where pretty much what I expected, but what it did to other people came as quite a surprise.

The effects of the drug were well...good. Pretty damn good actually. I found it not to be as sketchy as other uppers, and found myself just fine to relax and enjoy the high, much like pure MDMA, insted of feeling obligated to get up and do something like with amphetamines. Actually I found the effects VERY similar to MDMA, except the feeling of empathy was replaced by the want to punch someone in the face for the fun of it, and also the physical high was better - not by a huge amount, but definately enough to notice. The actual peek of my euphoria came after snorting about a quarter of a gram in 1 line, which is apparently called a "Hollywood". The drip was freakin huge, and in the process of going down my throat it made the entire thing numb. As the effects were hitting me, I noticed how AMAZING it felt to breathe when you can't feel your throat or mouth. It was as if the air was simply dissapearing from my lungs when I exhaled. I simply sat there for 15 minutes enjoying the nice high by simply breathing.

Speaking of the numb mouth, I found "gummies" to be quite a waste of coke. I mean, the amount of this stuff we were rubbing on our gums probably added up to what could have been an extra line or two each from what accumulated over the weekend. It's kinda a cool feeling, but I'm not sure why the hell anyone would want to try it more than once if it means wasteing their coke.

But what suprised me about this drug is the amazing hold it can have on people, not just through physical addiction, but for the want for more coke when it's gone. I mean, I knew about fiending, and thought I knew what it was about, but I had no clue that people could go through so much effort to simply get that next line. It was also amazing to see how people transformed over the weekend, from "normal" kids into something truely horrifying.

Friday night it was all smiles. Me and my buddy get the word some coke is coming, and shortly after two people I've never met before appear, eyes wide open and big smiles on their faces. It was a chill night; plenty of zong hits and a some bumps. I put a few red flags up though when the sun came up and I was ready to call it a night, but these kids insisted to continue. This was after a few nose bleeds, and some crazy logic as to why it would be a good idea to use some of Saturdays night's stash Saturday morning. Personally I experienced no fiending that night (probably because I did a rather small amount), but I was beginning to see that this whole fiending thing was no joke or exaggeration. To put it simply, the mentality went from a line being a priviledge, to a line being an obligation. In the end I got no sleep, but felt pretty fine that morning.

Saturday night comes along and these kids return, although this time their smiles were replaced with looks of intent focus. Buddy pulls out a rolled up peice of paper, and sitting nicely inside were some pretty damn big rocks, which apparently were one really big one that broke up. Either way, it was a lot more than the night before. Instantly I was hit with a feeling of excitement and fear at the same time; I saw what the amount from the night before did, I couldn't possibly imagine how these kids would act with so much more of the stuff. As the night went on I began to learn a lot of things about the drug.

My first realization was that the high never satisfies. No matter how good it was, and no matter how much I did, during the peak of the high I'd always be thinking "Wow this is awsome, but it would be SO much better if I do a bit more next time." Much to my dissapointment once I did a bigger line, I still had that exact thought.

Also, after a while it really loses it's fun. The high stays, but the enjoyment is gone. Two guys (there were a fair bit of people around by this point) argued for half an hour about who's line was bigger, ironically killing the high for both of them. And I found a lot of the enjoyment later in the evening came from people talking about how they were getting these big deals to make the amount of coke we had look like nothing. It's like they didn't realize how coked up they were, and could only think about getting more coked up in the future.

The night ended for me shortly after the coke ran out. In fear of a horrible comedown I had gotten quite drunk. Well actually I didn't know how drunk I was untill the coke wore off, which happened to be when we were walking down the street looking for more. We sat in a coffee shop for a while and no one talked. I was pretty content at this point, and was rather indifferent about wether we would get more or not. But I had time to really observe the two people I was with (I'm into psychology, cut me some slack). They both looked so damn focused, like they were planning out world domination in their heads or something. They were still so damn high off the coke, and were probably experiencing a $30 high each, but there was not even the slightest sign of anything positive within their heads at all. I knew they were simply thinking of any way possible to get more. By this point I had completely forgotten about the coke, and was even more drunk.

I decided to call it a night, because I knew that they probably weren't going to score any more, and even if they did I really didn't want to be up two nights in a row (done it before and it isn't fun at all).

Either way I definately won't be touching the stuff again for a good while - if at all. It's fun, but it's also probably the most negative drug I've come in contact with. It doesn't seem to be directly that bad for health in moderation, and E feels like it's doing a LOT more damage than this stuff. But it just really gets a hold on people, and soon nothing else matters but getting the next line. What shocked me even more was these people (most of them at least) were just weekend users, meaning their addiction (if they have one at all) is pretty minor. I couldn't imagine how bad someone would be who does the stuff daily...it's just scary.

Well those are my thoughts on coke, I hope ya enjoyed reading. Feel free to comment, or even disagree with me, because I'm still pretty new to the whole scene, and there's probably a lot of people with oppinions much more valid than my own.

Thanks for reading.

 

It's a weird word indeed.

Something I forgot to include about coke was the effects it had on me socially. Everyone else around was REALLY talkitive but personally I didn't have the desire to say much. Insted I was just exremely interested in what other people had to say, and I became a lot less social than usual. It's weird because it's not empathetic like E, but with E I always love to talk and with this stuff I'd rather listen. It's weird because I thought it would be the opposite, but meh I guess it's just me.