so i just finished smoking a bowl of some grape ape stuff and it brought me back to a few months ago. it was a boring night late october and it was one of those boring nights where i had just gotten out of work and i wanted to do something or go out somewhere but it was late at night. so i lit up a bowl and about 10 minutes after my buddy (friend A) hits me up and asks me if im down to go to the hookah lounge with him, considering that i was bored out of my mind i accepted so we met up and he never told me that he was inviting more people. so i get out and its another one of our friends (friend b) so were in there smoking some hookah and friend B's girl was straight up fine. now she is one of those girls that actually talks to everyone and doesn't just sit there and look pretty so she starts talking to me, but i tried to keep it cool and not talk too much, as respect to my friend.and i thought it was a coincidence cause i was stoned out of my skull. so that's how far it went that day. well about two weeks later we go out again but this time we went out to a more quiet place, and this time she is constantly on me, she wont stop talking to me and im trying to not talk to her soo much but at the same time i wasnt being rude or anything. weeks after that i was out and about doing christmas shopping and i ran into her and she caught me on my coffee break so she ends up sitting in the same table with me and we have a 45 minute convo. so time goes by, christmas, new years, and just this past tuesday i ran into her AGAIN... and she told me that she and my friend had broken up, my friend cheated on her, but we talked for almost two hours at a starbucks and this is where things get interesting. so after we left the starbucks i gave her a ride back to her house so i pull up and right before she gets out she confessed that she likes me, i was speechless. she writes her number on a piece of paper and says "call me anytime" so she gets out and im like wtf?? so i drive home and over analyze the situation. the thing is that i know its wrong of me if i do accept because we all know its against guy code to do that to a friend but i really do like her but i know that if i do i lose a friend and if i dont i lose the chance to be with a great girl, who shares alot in common with me. damm shit gets to me when im stoned it was friend b's ex not friend A's
well i met him through friend A who is a real good friend of mine but friend b and i arent as close of friends but we get along pretty good
I wouldn't see it as against guy code. He cheated on her, it's his bad. I say go for it. Dude has no reason to bitch about it, he fucked up. If you two have alot in common aand she's fine you have an opportunity at a good relationship
It's the guy code, not the gay code. He fucked up if he slept around on her, didn't he? Be the better guy and a better example to your friend of what can happen if you throw away a good thing. Girl is into you. That's a good thing. Unless you find her extremely irritating I'd say just go for it.
I always do this, even to guys i don't really know. I do it out of respect for the concept of relationships, i don't want to be that guy that flirts with everyone's girlfriend. However, it gets extremely difficult when it's a girl like you're explaining (very outgoing and nice, not to mention really cute) Because after awhile, you realize, what is she doing with this jerk..why isn't she with me? Then you realize how much of a jerk the guy is, and how cute she is. But you still realize they're in a relationship, and they wouldn't still be dating unless she really didn't want to be with him. And during conversations you try not to be too flirtatious and all that crap, it gets annoying to just see the guy out to the corner of your eye all looking at you, so you try and keep the conversation less interesting, and in turn you act like a dick to end the conversation and she's all like wtf. Then after you stop talking to her he's all shitty. The more i think about this, the more i just wanna be like "ok, so you brought her to a party with a bunch of dudes, what do you think is going to happen??" Then just start flirting hardcore I like to avoid conflict though. I haven't finished your story yet, so i'll do that now.
The guy fucked up and cheated on her. Thats some low level shit, a questionable "friend" at best. Needless to say, he doesnt care for her and shouldnt be upset youre after her. I would still let him in on your plans before you do anything, just out of respect for your circle of friends. I wouldnt ask him if its ok, id just let him know whats up. If he cared for her and didnt cheat, then itd be a different story. And i overthink things a LOT when im high too. I just avoid it by not smoking if i have something big/a lot on my mind or if im anxious/nervous. Goodluck with everything. Oh and +rep whenever i get to my laptop, you sound like a real respectable guy, limiting your talking with your friends' girls' out of respect.
Just finished, Dude, the guy code is a different story then what i was talking about earlier. Yes, i'm pretty sure everyone is aware of the guy code. So was my friend, but he persisted to date every single cute chick in our high school, like the really cute ones (there were about 5-6 girls he dated that i thought were cute or could've went for) Here's my take on the guy code: I think it's bullshit, because the whole rule is based on the guy being insecure about how he feels about someone else being with a girl that he failed with or broke up with. And what, we're supposed to be a part of that? Furthermore, we're supposed to respect that? What, are we gay? Dude, if she's over you and she's cute, i say she's fair game. And the fact that the other guy screwed up with her should mean , out of respect for me that i should be allowed a chance to meet her and maybe date her for a little bit (if i even want to) The guy code shuts that whole opportunity out (of even going on one date with her) and i think it's bullshit because i don't give a shit about my "friend that i'm not all that close with's feelings" It's a different story if it's your best friend i guess, because the result of dating another guy's ex girlfriend is definitely going to make them upset to some extent, and it'll get back to them in time. but i also think that out of respect, they should just be understanding about it. what their thoughts should be "ahh, that sucks, he's dating her now? Well i fucked up, hope they have a good time." Because they did fuck up, so they shouldn't be blaming the guy for being attracted to the same girl they were so attracted to? After all, who could blame them right? It's a sketchy thing, but i say in your case, the guy was a jerk and fucked up. Go for it and think nothing of it. Cheers man
Anybody who says they wouldn't get with a fine ass girl that has alot in common with them is lying. Guy code? The dude cheated on her and obviously on a good thing if your into her. There's nothing "guy" about cheating and disrespecting a female.
Damm all you guys made great points, I know that as fucked up as it sounds I also didn't like the fact that my friend cheated on her, and I'm against that 100%. And Yea this guy goes out with every girl he can get at. It's a hard choice but I'm making up my mind tonight. Thanks guys I apreciate it
First of all make sure that shes telling the truth about them breaking up, chicks can be sneaky. If they are and he did in fact cheat on her then thats his fault AND proves that he never really cared for her so he shouldnt really give a fuck if you hook up with her or not. This guy seems like more of an acquaintance than a "friend" so i wouldnt worry about it too much. Figure the chick out, if she just wants to smash and nothing more then that should be easy to keep a secret if your still uneasy about the situation.
I say go for it if you like her back. I mean the guy did cheat on her...so obviously he doesn't care much
If you ask his permission and he says its cool, youre in the clear. Dont do it unless he says hes comfortable with it
He cheated on her so I don't think he'd care, but I wouldn't do anything without mentioning it to him first. He's most likely just gonna be like "fuck that bitch, iunt care she's all yours"