My dad needs a kidney....

Naw dude, don't waste your kidney bra, he's just gonna kill that one....... If I was you, I would offer him your kidney, but tell him only if he changes his lifestyle

 

how long is the waiting list?

 

^ useless post (natedogg)




surgery to remove a kidney would most likely sidleine you from your weight lifting for the better part of a year (i've seen pictures of you around here i believe. you're clearly moving a lot of weight around.)


i dont know a shitload about it
but i do know a sturdy shitload about lifting weights

and i''m guessing that the removal of a kidney would prevent one from that type of exertion from a long time



i'm going to speak plainly, forgive me.
your father's unhealthy lifestyle isnt worthy of the healthy kidney of another.


honestly this thread makes me sad on so many levels


especially when some guy rolls through and is like
na man
na

 

Yeah I feel you on thatt, that's a hard decision your going have to make, Ive been lifting for awhile myself, your kidneys are soo important, and my post is not trying to be useless as ling as you know that High Haze, big tree wants to talk some shit, let him, haters make me who I am.

But keep me up to date with things brother

 

Offer it to him on the condition that he has to work to keep it. I mean, you can't just take it back, but tell him he has to take care of it.

I know you love him, but you aren't obligated to do this.

Good luck, HighHaze.

 

in all honesty, i say dont give him it.. He had his chance to not fuck up his organs, and he didnt do that. I could see if he was a healthy person, but he doesnt do anything? Thats just taking the easy way out of things

 

thts a realy hard decision but you know that only thing we can do is give you are opinions so i will do that.


you said our dad was unhealthy and bassicly sat around all day. well to be honest i would not give him that kidney if he is just going to fuck it up again. but i would have a chat with him. i know you said you tried to talk to him but have a discussion specificly about you giving up your kidney for him.

 

Try to find out exactly what it entails for you, exactly how it will set you back, try to solidify exactly what you'd be dealing with.

In the UK's NHS, they take the psychological side into account when the assess you with the screening process. You're not being selfish takint that into consideration

While I can see your dad probably doesn't want to talk to you about donating directly, it's really horrible to drop hints. It's not like it's not pressuring you, all it does is avoids confrontation for him.

Which in my opinion, is what's needed the most. It would be great if you were able to tell him exactly what you think/ why you make whatever decision you make.

Because while he is avoiding talking about it now, if you decide not to give him your kidney, he's still going to have those questions.
And if you decide to give him your kidney, you're going to want to know he's going to look after it.

It's a lot to ask, and a shame that he hasn't actually asked you.

Also, depression is a horrible thing, and it takes a lot to break your way out of it.

although I don't think you'd be out of school for any where near as long as you would exercise.

This post doesn't have a point, just a few angles. I hope things work out.

 

theres a chance you might kill yourself if you give your dad your kidney? i dont see the connection there...

but ultimately, if you don't think he deserves it dont give it to him i guess.

 

Wow...I'm so sorry you have to be put in this position.

I know you almost feel obligated to do this because he is your father and you might not be where you are today without him. As you said, he's made plenty of sacrifices for you...

BUT...he needs to make some sacrifices for his own life...diet, exercise, etc...he must be feeling pretty sick at the moment...going through dialysis and all that. But, even in his sickness, he's not willing to change his lifestyle so that he can live...that being said, I doubt that he will change when he has a fresh new kidney from his son...

I won't tell you what to do cause I can't even begin to imagine what I would do in your shoes...this has got to be probably the hardest decision of your life...the problem is...do you follow your heart, or do you follow your head?

Best of luck to you whatever your decision...

 

What a bad situation to be in man. Can you not explain all of what you explained to us too him? Just say like dad i don't wan't to give up a kidney if your just going to waste it because giving you this is going to affect my life quite alot. Whatever you decide it will be the right desicion based on your circumstances.

 

dddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddeeeeeeee iam almost in the exact situation, cept my dad goes on diaylsis later in the year, my dad is pretty unhealthy, smokes, has type 2 diabetes, overweight, etc, but at the end of the day if my kidney can extend his life iam down for it

my dad also tried for like 1 month spurts to get healthy but always quit and hasnt even tried quiting smoking in years but i hear after a kidney transplant that they patient recieving feels instatly better, more energy, so i would hope that would inspire him to stay feeling that way, + if i do it iam goin to tell him that id like him to live healthier

did a little reading online and it seems to be a pretty routine surgery nowadays, seen like a 90+ % success rate, just sucks that id be only w/ one kidney though, what if i get hit by something or someone, i could possibly die, things u gotta think about....but to me its an easy choice, + inst it hard to see ur dad hooked up to a machine to live??

 

Have you talked to his physican to determine if he is following the diet and exercise instructions he has been given. A correct diet and activity level for chronic renal failure can look very different from what a person who is not ill considers "healthy" Here is some info on the predialysis diet....he should've been on one of these for years.
http://www.kidney.org/atoz/pdf/nutri_chronic.pdf
Now that he is on dialysis his correct diet will look quite odd.
But if he is not following his docs advice, no, don't give him a kidney.
Do you know the underlying cause of the renal failure?
If there are certain hereditary issues, you may not be an acceptable doner, anyway.

 

i can see why people in here say dont give him a kidney b/c hes not follwing docs orders or not workin out, but he wont last long on dialysis and is basically handed a death sentence, his kidney fuction % will continue to decrease and he will eventually die while cont. diaysis, but if ur a match or found someone whos a match, u can give him new life, itll b hard on both of u, but i think after going something like that u can convince him to change his ways, its not 100% proof but u gotta work at it and i think it would be worth it..........thats just the way i see it between my dad and me

 

OP, it's kind of hard for me to say, but I say keep your gorgeous kidney. Seriously.

IF your Pops took care of himself, I'd say "consider it." Which you've already done. But your dad isn't taking care of his body like he should. It's so sad.

But seriously, with this admittedly altruistic act, you're looking at: (a) undergoing a major surgery, (b) a forever changed existence, and (c) risking falling back into depression--all for someone who isn't fighting for his life with everything he has? Pfuck that. You need to take care of yourself first, you know?

It's hard for us to stand up for our own lives sometimes, but I think you need to do just that, OP. Best of luck to you.

 

Aaaaand tharedhead comes through with stellar, impeccable advice once again! I love it!