19 years old, just dropped out of college after a semester, long story. Been a blade/lurker for a while, one of my first posts Decided to start writing out of boredom, here's my first attempt. Advice/Feedback would be nice Lifes not just about gettin fucked up, although I admit, nothin's left in my cup. It's about experiencing a higher level of consciousness; change your reality for a few moments, there's a demon in all of us, and especially me, I try my best to get free, or at the very least flee. But no matter how hard you try, the monster deep within will defy; it's up to us not to get dominated by; the reflection of evil that's in the mind's eye. Drop a few v's, to put me at ease. Eat a couple more, knock me on my knees. The fiend inside me, blows two xannies. Feedin on the leftover fuckin' KPs; but this isn't the only person I can be, just a fraction of me to a small degree. Full moon out, werewolf howls, twistin up owls, only the white grape. Cheese got me feelin like superman; I deserve a cape. So I'ma hit this vape, so I can escape, eyesight gettin blurry, distorted shapes. Losing touch with society, learning more about what's inside of me; avoiding sobriety, not always; just mostly. But don't judge a book by it's cover, til you understand what's underneath, be open minded, don't be blinded; discover then recover.
Really digging your poem, feels very raw and you-ish. I can almost feel your personality with it, can definitely relate some. Ever thought of writing a rap or two? Put those on a laidback beat and spit your struggle? I'd like to hear it.
Here's a different one I wrote a few days ago. Moods change spontaneously, which isn't a problem to me; we choose who we are and what we wanna be. Constantly pondering the unknown; unknowingly we blindly can't see what has yet to be shown. Disregarding faith, discriminating against different religion and race, can only bring disgrace and hate; we need to embrace; retrace our steps just incase this action of selfishness and vanity defaces humanity. Personally i'm the undefaceable, invulnerable to the sin of self. Selflessness is the act of truly caring for thy neighbor as much as yourself. Enlightenment is something not easily reached; corrupted preachers and pasteurs being rightfully impeached; abusing their powers of freedom of speech. We've had prophets who taught others, our very own brothers. Mankinds vice of lying causes stories to get twisted, knowledge of truth gets lost in the mist; elevated existence resisted. People refuse to see what they don't understand, but we should lend them a helping hand; and if they withstand, we have the perserverance and patience to not withdraw. Fuck that, grab the chain-saw, clench your jaw as you splatter some close minded fuckers brains on the walls. But see, that's our flaw; thats the devils claw, clasping your balls.
Wounded spiritually, gashed internally, skeptical of if anythings even happening. Doubt keeps us numb to what we could become; shhhhhh bite your tongue, don't shy away from me; obtain some sort of skill before you come at me, scum. Listen, that's not a snare drum, that's divine intervention on my thumb, just strummin and hummin. Look at you, already succumbin', be comin forth, only north from here, overcomin' our differences, join forces, not misbecomin'. Searching deep inside for an answer of why; you got me cross-eyed, i'm at a stone cold stop; look up at the blue sky, screech my battle cry, and say good bye. I open my 'lids, strugglin to see i'm atop; a 90 foot building and I just might drop, screw it, i'll do a belly flop, end up a pile of slop. I recognize this is the devil's bids, trying to get rid of good in us, but I forbid him to do so, I'm not ready to let go, I feel that golden glow that gets me spittin this holy flow; although if we let our guard down, the bad will overflow and drown us in our own sorrow, guy down below tryin to control his puppet show; But then again, what do I know?
shit man, this is dope as fuck. you can write. wait wait wait. the poetry was dope but the rap is so dope you gotta record that and let us hear! Who's with me?
More writing of mine. Sitting in my chair; no where to stare or glare my eyes upon; my minds climbin' stairs, head strainin' so hard I think i'm gettin grey hairs. Searching for some sort of entertainment, no limits to my attainment. I wish I had someone to pass this joint to; look up into the sky from my angle of view, think of you, head starts comin back to earth, deja vu. Been livin this way for god knows how long; turn up the song, hit the bong, just keep on scrapin' along. Desperate times call for desperate measures, time for a change; it's not all about the guilty pleasures. Envy and greed, human- kinds downfall, is plantin a seed for our demise. Reprise and improvise; however you see it, it ain't a surprise. Another curve ball, another close call. Above all there's always a way around a wall. Inspiration and motivation, driven by my depression, this is my honest confession, but don't get the wrong intention. Completely surround; myself with good vibes, try to calm down; but bad things happen to good people; so maybe it's the other way around. Now let me get this straight; I have my own weaknesses; Bite off a little too much than I can chew, but I do the best I can to clean my plate. Try to relate, oh wait, maybe I'll have to illustrate; demonstrate by paintin a picture so vivid you can actually appreciate. We all have our vices; alcoholism, crack addiction, needles causing self infliction, afflicting your veins, constricting your arteries; this isn't fiction, these tragic tragedies happen; They don't pertain to me, and aren't me. Or are they, because we're all one. Humor me, it'll be fun. People shun what they can't fathom, well i'm here to tell you it was either a plan, or something random. But who am I? That's a goodquestion. What I do know is I have a bit of self-control, i'm responsible and accustomable, and have one hell of a glass bowl. Speaking of which, I'm gonna take a stroll while solo smokin a spliff, come back inside hazed and dazed; hopin this bitch doesn't power trip and try to take ahold of my rights. I'm just checking the pantry, she turns on the lights, spites me; and all i wanted was a mother fucking cinnamon roll, not for you to dig another hole of hate; you poor young soul.
People's words and actions are all we have to go from; but if you act and say dumb shit, watch your face, you're gonna get hit. You're nothing but the scum on the bottom of my shoe. So get a clue, take a step back, don't go with your first instinct and attack, you fuckin dimwitted cunt. So instead of pullin a stunt; sit back, relax, smoke a blunt. Nothin but good vibes flowin round in the air. Gettin to know what we're about, startin to nod and fade out. No despair, we've settled our differences, and we're finally there. I'm here to tell you that I truly care.