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Most hilarious newbie mistake

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by afgooey, May 25, 2009.

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  1. #1 afgooey, May 25, 2009
    so whats the funniest noob mistake youve seen?

    mine was recent about 4 months ago and i packed a small rip in the bong for a noob toker. he had toked before but you can tell he wasnt very experienced. he hit the bong so fast i was fearing hed break my bong under the pressure, he was seriously hitting it like he would die if he didnt hit it fast enough. then he exhales part of his hit while the bong isnt even cleared. i grab it from him and finish his plate of course. thats the last i give to him. when we are done we engage in conversation and he claims he used to sell big. i asked him how much he picked up QP's for and he said 15 dollars lol. and then he proceeds to claim he can manipulate cops even if they have dirt on us. what a dbag lol and 2 hrs later he was asking if he looked high he was sketched about it and i reminded him that he only took half of a hit

    despite the fuckups i still like blazing out newbies i feel happy when i get people super baked and im sure they are thankful of me.
     
  2. #2 morsone, May 25, 2009
    "What's a quarter?"
     
  3. #3 shaggy_r, May 25, 2009
    haha yeah just a couple months ago there was this one guy who was hitting my pals bubbler. he's got the mouthpiece entirely in his mouth, isn't aware of what a carb is and as such isn't blocking it, torches the shit out of the bowl and is pulling so hard his face was beginning to turn red, didn't clear it, coughed like a bitch, just pretty much a culmination of everything you don't do haha
     
  4. #4 dankers hill SD, May 25, 2009
    "can i get 7 grams?"
     
  5. #5 thugalug, May 25, 2009
    lighting a roach/filter lol
     
  6. #6 morsone, May 25, 2009
    Hahaha, you really gotta watch that you dont burn your mouth
     
  7. #7 afgooey, May 25, 2009
    from a middle eastern friend after selling him like 4gs of regs for 13 bucks "i want it next time in clumps ok, not shredded" lol like he was talking about meat or something.

    he was gona blaze me out with alot of it but i rolled a 2g blunt and me and his friends (all noobs) went in his bathroom to toke since he didnt want to stink up his house. his dbag friend wants to spark it because he paid for most so i agree. he fucking tries to light it near the window and drops the whole deal onto the bathtub floor into a puddle of water. so much for that fatty blunt
     
  8. #8 misterchevy94, May 25, 2009
    well i donno if you would consider me a noob but i have been smoking since october of 2007 but most of the people i know have smoked since they were like 14 or like 17 and i diddnt start smoking untill i turned 18(i wasent waiting till i turned 18 but thats when i first met anyone that actually could get it) well anyway right before i found this post i took a hit from my bong and tilted it up so the slide would be out of the water becaust i diddnt want it to make noise. well when i did it i tilted to far and got a mouth full of bong water and that sucked. o well atleast i was pretty high already so thats my excuse but yeah i know im not using correct punctuation an im sorry if that diddnt make sence but im really high but i wanted to share it for some reason
     
  9. #9 Monkey Funk, May 25, 2009
    back in highschool we used to get hella lifted. not to say this cat was a newbie, but he wasnt like us. we was tight since jr high, so he kicked it with me sometimes.

    anyways, ever seen anyone lay on the floor sideways and air drum "radar love"? yea...it was kinda like that...
     
  10. #10 joeypsp, May 25, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2009
    i think i really fucked up my first time with a friends older brother one other kid i knew and like five of the brothers friends, it was the first and last time, i ever touched his bong, i took it and was so excited cuz id never hit a real bong at that point...


    i torched the whole bowl:(

    and he packed it fresh for me:(

    and i didnt clear it:(

    and there was nothing left after:(




    looking back it seems like it happened in slow motion, i can still see there faces change from ***** eyes, and perma grins, to complete shock:eek:

    they did look just like the above smiley...


    one of the kids just wispered ".....no...."

    very softly under his breath, they didnt say nothin afterwords cuz his mom broke it up.

    i didnt even realize in my very high state that i did any wrong, and that was the last time i got high with them

    they take that shit, for seriously on the offensive in this town

    i mean we all got high, but they were, looking back, obviously upset


    also... i was gettin high with two kids they rolled a j, and i puffed harder than i ever puffed before, and burned the j down to a roach in one hit, and they both looked like they were gonna fuckin clobber me, i was so high, and i didnt even cough, and no one else was high at all, again i was so high i didnt even notice i fucked up.... and i think that was the last time i hung with them too.

    man you fuck up once in my town, and you are done:(
     
  11. #11 Monkey Funk, May 25, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2009
    haha i remember that slow mo shit.
     
  12. #12 purple puff, May 25, 2009
    One of my buddies was with me at another freinds house. He smoke a couple blunts with me in the past but this was the first time he was going to take a rip from a bong(old blue). he was holding it, my boy was lighting it and i was going to pull the slide for him. We look up and we see my buddy with his mouth over the thing like he was practicing felatio haha.
     
  13. #13 afgooey, May 25, 2009
    lolz if i saw someone do that in a session id die of laughter
    and then proceed to make comments like, "u just got a mouthful of thick milky goodness buddy"
     
  14. #14 joeypsp, May 25, 2009
    holy fuck:eek:

    plus rep to you sir:)

    i actually bust out laughing when i read that:p

    edit - it apears i must spread some more rep around before i can rep you again.. sry:(
     
  15. #15 Puppy Whirl, May 25, 2009
    People trying to light bowls without drawing at the same time, like it's a firecracker or some shit with a fuse. Fuckin waste of herb.
     
  16. #16 306stoner, May 25, 2009
    Buying 3 grams for 30$ instead of an eighth! :p
     
  17. #17 Greeneryguy, May 25, 2009
    aha, i recently got one of my new friends smoking, and i made damn sure he was inhaling before lighting that shit.
    he was hittin it like no tomorrow though, dude just takes the biggest gulp of air/smoke haha.
     
  18. #18 afgooey, May 25, 2009
    thats still a ridiculously great deal here in socal
    all u canadians must be twice the stoners we are cause weed is half the price
     
  19. #19 ryanmetal, May 25, 2009
    posted a thread a week ago but like...this noob i know was smoking with me and i loaded a nice bowl of dank, then after my hit he takes his and blows the whole fucking thing out. i was bummed.
     
  20. #20 afgooey, May 25, 2009
    well i hope in addition to :( you were also :mad:
     
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