I can't seem to relax or have fun while I'm high. I get extremely quiet and buried by some really messed up thoughts regarding anything about myself. I used to be chill when I first started smoking, but now getting stoned is hell for me. Anyone I've asked says it's probably because I used to smoke too much by myself. I want to really know why I seem to completely despise myself while I'm high. Instead of relaxed I'm practically suicidal. I'll over analyze anything bad about myself and just really mentally abuse myself about it. Even serious self harm would occur, but that's not very much a big issue since I've always had a thing with depression and self harm anyways. I kinda would want to know if anyone else is like this, everyone I tell is just.. weirded out to say the least about it and that they've never heard about anyone with such a problem. I can't even smoke half a bowl before I fall into a silent state while my mind painfully rushes through hurtful thoughts
I know how it all of that feels. Your mind circles, as you trace your thoughts you realize a pattern then you lose it. Then your stuck with knowing that you lost it. You try to find it, but you can't. Give up the bud for about 2 weeks, take the initiative to do that. Be consistent with that initiative. This type of mind, is not negative in anyway. Your seeing beyond what is actually there. Your built to be a metaphysicist. After you succeeded in not smoking for two weeks. Try smoking once per week. Make it a sunday or monday, never saturday. Saturdays are badluck. But yeah, good luck and tell us your results. edit... You'll find your pattern after giving it up for two weeks, it takes strength, but i've done it, which mean's you can do it, then once you take it easy, you'll realize that pattern. Keeping the pattern in mind, you can then work with it toward progressing into a new person. A creative, objective individual...
Also, i know people would regret me saying this, but try pure tobacco if you can, make a leaf into a tea. Itll soothe the nerves.. Sent from my HUAWEI-M931 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Sounds like weed may not be for you. A similiar thing happens to me on unmentionables, you either have to change your mindset or stop altogether
buncha' chicken littles.. 'oh i have unsettling thoughts when im high..' sometimes i feel suicidal when im high..and im still here. keep smoking. or dont, i dont know, fuck.
Dude, it's genetics, it can't be helped... Ooh so your better than everyone else cause your a one hitter quitter, yeah, take your useless pride somewhere else bro...
Well you're an excellent judge of character, too bad you couldn't apply that same judgement to yourself..
Hey man... I used to be the same way, hugely over analyzing random thoughts often negative but what kept me doing it was my earlier experiences with pot. I would do what QiParadoxical said and quit ( I did 3 weeks) and start over, toke less amounts too, I like joints cuz the come up is easier and all. Just readjust to it, some of us are lightweights and a lot of people.wish they were lol Don't worry your not alone...I'm sure it's not common but I'm right there with ya, not much of a social smoker.
It sounds like it's making an underlying problem worse...get that worked out before you smoke more...that's just how it is with MJ...You have to be in a good place psychologically to truly enjoy it... straight talk.
wow, the word metaphysicist, or metaphysics, caught my attention and after looking it up is very enlightening. I thought there was something somewhat wrong with me but that just how I think and am. I might just be getting highly upset with myself when I can't find an answer to questions having to deal with something in that topic. I'm going to probably get really into metaphysics now that just a basic definition given interests me past the point of no return. Thanks so much man, you have no idea!
Yep no problem, just one thing, take it easy with the research, just do an hour every now and then when you get the time. Don't let it consume your day, otherwise you'll get sick of it...
Weed is not the problem is your mind state at the time. If u have alot of problems. Ur not gonna enjoy weed. U figure out what bothers u and fix that. After enjoy the herb to meditate right. Not on negative thinking. Sent from my ALCATEL ONE TOUCH Fierce using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I'm glad I got here before all the "OP is an anti-marijuana propagandist" posts start rolling in. I know that feeling EXACTLY, other than the self harming. Smoke a CBD rich strain, clears your inner racing negative thoughts and lets you live in the moment and enjoy your euphoric high. Omega369
bro i think youre like me, head over to the 'philosophy forum' and venture to the metaphysics section. its a place where they all discus weird common questions we come up with like why do we exist and what is consciousness and is reality real etc. im the same whenver im high, i just go into a weird thought stream like i am now, and sometimes, often actually, it turns kinda destructive.. like wishing i was someone else and fantasizing about being them, or if life is even worth living.. but when i look back at it, i think it is a huge positive to havbe this sort of experience in your life, howveer rare. it is a time where al your thoughts flood, and you really explore your brain, go through stages of higher consciousness, better, more creative ideas, asking questions about your life and really grow. shame you forget about most of it after though anyway you have to look at it as positive, or atleast not negative, neutral is better than negative, and as good as positive. im out lol just listening to my jam
Really depression sucks tbh I get anxiety time to time and it can be helped idk I smoke weed daily and it always makes me more down its a depressant ya know your ain't always gonna feel running like a top sometimes the brain misfires like a engine for me my ocd was bad like obbessing if life was worth it or if something bad was gonna happen and that's the anxious state of mind humans tend to worry for me I'm on a anxiety medication now pretty low dose to and I feeling better also cannabis if you could keep it before bedtime or something for me I get depressed if I use it during working hours 8-4 pm in the evenings it relaxes me a lot more. Just know you are cared for in the forum community. Also if you like you can pm me anytime I'm a chatter also strapping young 23 yo man heheheeheheh! Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost
^^ that last sentence though... my goodness. you have those messed up thoughts, but do you believe those thoughts? do thoughts make you who you are? youre going to be okay.
Depression can be a funky thing and what you mean zowie? I only saying that's me heheheheeh. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Peom by Robert Frost
Life as a whole is like a solar sail powered surf-rider boat driven constantly against a strong, downstream, 2nd law of thermodynamics kind of current. In the end, it's all about storing and later utilizing the energy of the sun's photons to surmount the currents and waves of the metabolic sea. The waves are the energy hills that must be quickly surmounted in order to adequately power the unimaginably vast and complex hierarchies of otherwise unfavorable energy transformations and interactions between atoms and molecules that we call "life". Really, the plants are both sail and boat. We animals are more like stowaways on the boat. Uhhh.. ok. So, I dunno - I mean it is "Messed Up Thoughts About Anything While High", right?