Title says it all. The past few days we've been fighting because I started smoking cigarettes again after I've kicked a nasty heroin habit. I told her I wasnt going to but I did and then proceeded to lie about it which ended up biting me in my own ass like it usually does. So we havent talked for a few days and she was basically about to break up with me but didnt. So I did some thinking and realized it was time to end it. Its hard tho because she was my first real love. We both lost our virginity to each other and always had a great time with eachother. I need to focus on my recovery and even tho I love her she was interferring with it from all the stress she put on me trying to control me and my actions. I am only human and have many flaws but so does she and I accepted hers. I called her tonite after work and told her that I think we needed to break up and she agreed. She actually said if I didnt do it she was gonna. Idk if im hurt by it or relieved that it ended on a good note and maybe one day in the future we can be friends again. I dont feel like crying. I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Idk how Im gonna feel tomorrow about it tho. Idk I just wanted to get it out and get some input on my favorite place on the internet.
The best thing to do now man is just smoke it off, you're not the only one to loose your first love, or last... many and many more...
to be honest with you, its just something you're going to have to accept. Yes if you guys break up she will most likely talk to other guys.. But, im sure you`ll be talking to other girls aswell .
You'll probably run through the gambit of emotions over the next week or so, but just try and stay focused on your recovery. Good luck man, GC is always here for you...
Props to you for thinking about your recovery first. And to be honest, it's not something that people should be forced to help out with. I think in time you both will see it was probably the healthiest decision.
If you think breaking up might be the answer... it usually is, IMO. Being in a relationship that's stressed causes way too much stress to try quitting habits like that, so yea, think about yourself. Stay in there!
GL man my heart goes out to you. Nasty relationships suck dick and I hate them with a passion. If I were you I'd probably go on with my day as per usual. And good luck with your recovery, don't relapse. Smoke those cancer sticks.. they're the best
Recovery is the MOST important thing to you! Props for even trying. You said you felt it was time to end it, it will be sad, but you must follow your heart. New beginnings can be awesome, it sounds like it's time to put yourself first, take care of YOU
You have to take care of yourself, before you can truly take care of someone else. Good choice OP, that took a lot of courage to do.
Thanks for all the replies guys. Means a lot. I was talking to her a little bit more last night and we both agree that this is the best thing. I thought it was gonna be easier but its not, but like everyone says you get over it eventually and meet someone else who will be more amazing than this one. Doesnt change how I feel today tho. Right now tho Im getting my ass to the gym. I need that 6 pack to impress the new ladies Also LegitBaller, yessir I am clean. Today is 33 days of all drugs
Good job, yesturday i was at the point where when i smoked 9 bowls on purpose to just finish all my bud so i can finally go on a t-break, due to my incredibly high tolerance... its going to be hard but ill do it :]
acole, this is the same girl that told you she was gonna end it come summer time(or whenever she left) right? congrats on 33 days man! thats a long time! : )
Yellowbic, yea it was the same girl. Thats partially why I ended it now. Today im kinda hurt tho. I guess its normal but I never had to go thru something like this. So its all new to me and I dont know what to expect or how long its gonna take me to get over it. Suprisingly it doesnt hurt as much as I thought it would but the sting is still there.
I'm right there with you buddy. Just ended a relationship of almost a year. It's a lot to invest in someone for it to be gone one day just like that. From the sound of it you made the right choice though, she was feeling it and you were too. Here's to being single and having our whole lives ahead of us!
It's normal to hurt my love but perhaps this is for the best? You need to focus on your recovery and can't afford worrying about someone else and their issues. Best of luck with everything...don't slip up you're doing a kick ass job as it is <3
Thanks Royk and everyone else that has added the advice to this thread. Im am hurt and like arcadian said it was a lot of time invested into it and now its just gone. So I feel like something is missing now. The only way I know how to fill it is with drugs but that is just going to prolong this pain that Im feeling. I was talking to my sponsor today and he was telling me that I dont need that in my life right now. Its not healthy and it will just cause my destruction if I keep letting it get to me. Obviously its normal for the way I feel and Im glad I can feel emotion now because when I was using the only emotion I felt was anxiety when I ran out of dope. It still doesnt make it easier and I keep thinking that she's not upset over this and that she's just living like nothing is wrong. I know this is not true but my fucked up mind tells me things. Idk imma stay clean tho. Ive invested too much in my sobriety to just throw it away on a broken heart. However I just got back from my first NA convention and there were mad fine girls there. It definitely made me forget that I just lost my first true love. Oh well life goes on and as long I stay clean it will get better.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VierrUZDKek&feature=related]YouTube - Gwar-I Hate Love Songs[/ame] I hate love songs and I hate lovers I hate everything that I can't have so I hate you I hate love songs and I hate lovers I hate everything that I can't have so I hate you I hate movies with happy endings Like that one I saw where all the girls were beautiful like you Like you I hate wet dreams and masturbation I hate everything that feels good like sex with you I hate flowers and little birdies Makes me wanna puke when I see something cuddily like you I'm bored with your insanity I'm too tired to smile at your stupidity You've got the very best of me fell in love push came to shove but you broke so easily I love hate songs 'bout mass destruction other people's pain takes my mind off you I love puppies when they're road-kill They're too cute too live, too cute to live like you I'm bored with immortality I'm too tired to stick it out for eternity You've got the very best of me fell in love push came to shove and you broke so easily I hate love songs I hate love so I hate you [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO-wAfvIF3s]YouTube - GWAR - Sick Of You[/ame] Your socks they smell, your feet they stink, You never take a bath. Your nose it runs, you bust your buns, You always finish last. [Chorus:] Sick! (Sick) Of! (Of) Youuuuu. I'm so sick, so sick of you. Your face is gross, you eat white toast, You don't know what to do. It's just your luck, you really suck, That's all - I'm sick of you [Chorus] (Bring it down... I said bring it down! Thank you) Don't ya know? So sick of you. Things you say, and all the things you do. [x6] [Chorus x3] Human filth.. Sick!