lsd and me (long post)

EDITED VERSION:
(this can be read in under 15 minutes).

ok so lets first start off with an introduction about who i am and why i use drugs. i am a easily overly stressed by day to day life and of course when my ocd is a factor, i am a easily depressed individual and thus i try to find substances to help with that and also relax my ocd and social anxiety.

so with all uppers and non-recreation pharms excluded i have tried cannabis, alcohol, various benzos, salvia and most recently lsd and nitrous.

now lets address each substance and my opinion on them, so far cannabis is my favorite both recreational and medicinal drug. i love the felling of happiness, mellow, relaxed, satisfied with life and the situation, laughing at everything, enjoying simply the fact that matter exists. cannabis always brings a smile to my face.

alcohol is alright, it can be a decent substitute, especially in the social scene but its nothing to my love of cannabis. benzos are similar in this aspect, tho i favor them over alcohol because i am prescribed and thus they are not a hassle to come across nor do they induce nausea.

salvia was a worthwhile experience, i have tried it once and it was a funny body high, mental thought process but no visuals. i will defiantly indulge again looking for visuals because besides from the relaxation i look for in drugs, i adore the altered perception brought about from psychedelics. this will be further explained in my lsd trip below.

now before i jump into my lsd trip i want to get a few things clear. for those of you who have not visited the s/p subforum here at the city, i often question a lot regarding the absolute of reality both within my own conscious mind and the physical external world. as well i am fascinated by all aspect of psychology and i feel this is portrayed a lot both in my day to day thoughts and my posts here on the city.

now regarding why i excluded stimulants i have tried above is because i generally avoid uppers because i take drugs to enjoy the moment and take life easy. as well most uppers i have tried give little to no recreation high.

with that said let me start with my lsd experience. i think it is important to know what i expected from lsd before my trip began. i pictured it as a kaleidescope of colors, magnified/altered view on my five senses, immense realization as to what more life has to offer. all in all a world of potential, i pictured id explore the potential life ive missed out on for 'X' number of years, and id be able to appreciate life as ive never seen it.

now my experience/trip takes place at the gathering of the vibes. it was thursday, the first day of the four day festival, when i arrived. the first thing i noticed about vibes was the fact i was offered mushrooms for real cheap. but i went into the experience planing on tripping on acid one day with the money i had. i stopped and chatted with the seller for a minute but ultimately denied his offer. it was shocking at first the outgoing of someone trying to sell drugs. in all my experience in life i always had to find it but here in this new situation it has found me. so now i go to the stage and i meet up with a few friends. fast-forward a hour. we decided to find acid for us with the plan to buy a ten strip, trip that night and make our moneys worth the next day selling whats left for a bit more than we payed. so we walk around vibes camping area and within seconds we find some shouting "doses". of course the seller brags about quality blah blah. so we buy a ten strip gel tabs. now we cut up a hit for each of us. each taking one hit (as well at this time my two friends were coming off of a acid trip earlier that day). so i take my one, and i quickly notice the easy flavor. it was almost like candy. so i take my one at 930 and head over to dark star orchestra alone while my friends chill at their campsite a bit. i sit down in a patch of grass and enjoy the music and the stars. i start to think philosophy like i do when im alone, nothing unusual just letting my mind wonder. i enjoy laying down and such for a good hour before i start questioning the effects. i figure i would be somewhat tripping now this being my first experience so i look around, the various colors of vibes were appealing but nothing to the point of fascinating. the stars were vibrant but it was a clear night and i doubted that being the only significant effect of 'tripping', then i notice a few slow moving shooting stars and think, "tracers?". yet a sober friend next to me quickly pointed out he saw them too and we came to the conclusion of satellites.

now it is 1030 and i am disappointed at the lack of my trip so i walk back to my friends seeing if they were feeling anything. but they simply shrugged. i say, "fuck it, i need to trip" and i took 2 more. now they start telling me about how i am over hyping the trip and because of that im missing out on the little effects it has had on me so far. now we stand up and say lets go check out the last 2 hours of DSO. i stand up maybe 10 minutes after taking the second 2 tabs and i look over at the ground. and a patch of grass, the size of a small cat, sprouts roots that resemble crab legs and does a crab walk out of sight. i was amazed. i jumped with joy that i was tripping but my friends started saying how its not like mathematics, you dont dose here and peak 'X' hours later, theres always variables basically. so they make me agree to not talk anymore about my trip or drugs and simply observe, enjoy and get lost in my own mind. so we are walking from our campsite to the stage but were walking slow, observing random shit that makes vibes, vibes. around someones campsite there is a nitrous tank going off. and my friends are saying how they want to try nitrous for the first time. i am a bit less excited because i was planning on experiencing 100% lsd for lsd. but im walking around with them so we get into this line for nitrous that is like 10 people long and on the ground they have glow sticks that mark the directions to walk to the tank. i for one am fascinated by the pathway of lights, the sounds of the tank, the environment/situation. so we get up to the guy at the tank and hes got the balloons ready rushing everyone, trying to make his money's worth. and then i started asking how much. i think it was something like 3 balloons for 5$. so we just want a little bit and start asking how much for one balloon. i say, "i got a single, one balloon for one dollar?". i dont even know what happens next but the next thing i know he hands me a balloon and my face lights up with a smile like a child on christmas morning. so my friends rush me away from that seller all excited. i am still on the upcome of acid so my mind is overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions but my friends are just like take a hit. so i do. and well its tastes pretty good, i guess because i was expecting it to taste quite bad. it was like cold, thin smoke. we didnt huff the balloon alone we just shared hits. so i take mine and well i start holding it in getting a heavy body high. like my lungs were metal. and then things began to change. my friend was shirt less and all of a sudden his entire upper body, from belt up, just got muscle, like the hulk. like he shot up steroids and grew muscle on the spot but only upper body muscle. then someone we saw along the walk had a spiral flashing green lightning medallion/pendant and it was hypnotic. so we share the rest of the balloon taking the biggest inhales possible but it was over fast and a lot of giggling.

so we get to DSO and from here on is a lot of blank spots so ill just share what i remember. we got some free glow sticks which were amazing. my friend was really good at it and he just got my attention more than fucking DSO, my mind was so overwhelmed. so we were in the crowd a lot, enjoying music and glow sticks, tripping on acid, reminiscing about free nitrous. and at one point i remember closing my eyes and my mind was fucked with the images of immense colors. it was not like normal closed eye visuals i get from high blood pressure and such, which are only black and white and just a trippy pattern. no, it was like a glowing ball of colors falling into the depths of nothings, and it had an rainbow like aura. then i opened my eyes and stared at the tree in the field that was swaying, like cannabis plants do in a time lapse video. kinda like the way 'hippies' dance. i repetitively said to my self, "is this it...?" as if to say is this lsd, the drug ive dreamed of for so long. and id say, "wow... *giggle* *giggle*". a lot of the time i would think about vibes and how drugs were such a main aspect there. and then itd lead my to think about how drugs control our lives in general as humans. and a couple of times id ask my lsd experienced friends about the effects of lsd, and i dont know if they were clueless or ignoring me but they simply shrugged. and that got me thinking on how i used to rely on those for drug advice just because theyve tried it more than i have, but us as humans are so clueless in this topic because it is never an absolute, we all observe reality differently and thus altered reality brought on by drugs differently. and that no one has any absolute idea about psychology in general. and then i thought about how quick people are to sell drugs and brag about doing them but they are truthfully just as clueless as the rest of us. we all just hear the words 'acid' or 'nitrous' and we know it has power because people give it power, those words can be bought, simply saying them catches so much attention but no one knows for sure what they do mentally, we are just all along for the ride, trying to benefit anyway we can, whether it be selling a drug with a popular name or trying drugs for the benefit of were the experience takes you. we are all just on a cycle, simply at different points in this journey but never off the cycle in general. (i would just like to point out that above is simply a brief summarization). so this realization i came to was like an out of body experience. i thought about so many aspects to the new situation of vibes but then applied them to all of human life. and it felt so natural to think that easily, to let my mind flow, it was blissful. o and also i remember at one point saying to a friend how each song is like a story, it gives a different feel to my trip. one song can make me energetic, the next philosophical, ect.

so alot of the same thing, and i remember around 1 when DSO was finishing i thought wow i love lsd, i feel so free, so natural, so alive. and i thought about how before trying it i heard so much negatives, and i thought, "a bad trip how is this possible?". i looked around seeing if there was anything negative to even give the slightest bad vibes and there was a guy not dancing. and it almost hurt me for a second but then i thought, "this is ridiculous. why let others effect the way i feel. i am happy in my own mind, lsd gave me reinsurance on so much i used to question. and i feel so at ease now. there is no bad trip." then i began to think that sober life is so shitty for me already with ocd and depression that it couldnt get any worse. and all future lsd trips would be positive. simply giving me the reinsurance i question/doubt sober.

so a lot of the same things. material objects breathed. then when DSO ended i was left saying, "did that just happen". it was amazing. i felt as though i was done peaking but looking back now it was just the lack of music. i remember on the walk back to the campsites i saw two stereotypical teenagers, tie dye shirts, baggy jeans, buzzed cut hair, jaws dropped, eyes wide open, pupils huge. it was like each little physical difference from one person to the next is what showed to me. it was what my mind went to, but not in an insulting way tho. then i saw another geeked out teenager, tall, big head thin body, two balloons in hand, and one in his mouth and it was like he was popping out at me. very similar to pop up books. it was almost as if i saw those kids for who they truly are, victims on this cycle of drug experimentation but just as clueless and lost as the rest of the world. so then i chill kinda coming down, do some more nitrous with friends but felt nothing. while others laughed historically. (view my other thread benzos and nitrous? (help)). and a lot of "" kinda feelings brought from how at ease my mind felt, just being lost in my own thoughts.

so then again a lot of grass wiggling. when you step one it and it slowly raised was awesome. i got lost in the camp grounds completely tripping which was epic. and a lot more just, "i love acid" remembering how natural i felt during DSO it was just awesome. then for a little bit i thought about how we use drugs to feel good, but then you get caught up in that lifestyle and in never ends. no real meaning to that tho it was just a quick thought.

o this was kind of weird when i finally went to sleep around 5. i remember the closed eye visual being epic. but also i couldnt really fall asleep so i just laid there thinking and what felt like 20 minutes of thought when i opened my eyes to roll over it was light out.

so next morning i take two more tabs. and well it was cool a lot of lying down, looking at the grass move in the breeze, the tress swaying, when i focused on a specific object it was almost like it grew and the background faded/shrunk out of perception (i did this for a while watching an ant). but for awhile it was never as epic of a peak as during dark star. so i question if the acid of that day was bunk. but this one actually came from a more reliable source. so i take another tab. and i kinda trip for the day. but never that natural, lost in my own mind peak of during dark star. my pupils also didnt dilated which led me to doubt the little things of the trip being mind over matter.

so ill summarize the rest. that day was alright a little trip i guess. o also i felt my ocd die which was cool. i mean i was so fascinated by the little changes of reality my mind could care less about my ocd. anyways, that day ends. saturaday i tried to "detox" so when i take three on sunday i could peak like i did during DSO. so i do and sunday is a lot of the same as friday. thoughts of, "when am i going to peak, am i tripping? why isnt this like during DSO?". then because i wasnt really tripping i got to the conclusion that lsd is what you make it, it doesnt have specific alteration to your psyche, what you image becomes reality while tripping, its almost like your in control. the whole mind over matter aspect and using that to your advantage.

i dont know, now im here... so here is the infamous joe Biggs' first acid trip report/thread. hope you enjoy..

so you guys think this would make a good book?

 

thanks for all the comments blades.

tho i am beginning to doubt if this was LSD or if i simply collaborated what i expected from various trip reports i read prior to experiencing.

i came to this above conclusion from this took from wikipedia.

"SSRIs are believed to interact more benignly, with a tendency to noticeably reduce LSD's subjective effects"

i take 150mg Zoloft daily.

 

so ive been doing alot of thinking about what i experience, and understanding what acid does for me.

and i reflected on my first (only real) trip and the best way i can describe why it felt so good because time stopped. now maybe this might be worded better, time did not stop, others were not still as if i paused time. no it was more as if my mind stopped.

i was in a loop of thinking about everything. and if you were to get my attention and ask me a simple question like "what was your last thought? what did you do yesterday? whats your name?". i would blank on an answer, because i was thinking as "me". i was away from all that. i was almost not in my head.

but when i was able to just let my mind flow, i addressed every choice i ever made, every decision i have regretted. and i became ok with it. and i looked at my future, what more life had to offer, and i was able to prioritize life. from a much greater level of consciousness (yes its corny, very often used to described lsd but thats really what it did).

i was so stress free. my mind was able to tackle all problem i had deep in my sub conscious. and resolve them. leaving me free without stress. just naturally flowing to what felt right in the moment. not what was needed.

i was away from reality. and it felt so good. i was above it. i had to stress. i was left flowing naturally.

it was just fucking amazing, pure phenomenal bliss. lack of consciousness, lack of stress, lack of reality. the future was not something i began to stress about, no, it became something to look forward to. lsd made me happy. lsd made me, me.