He did catch me actually. He wants to work it out. I dont think I do. We are still living together at this point but in different rooms. He cant kick me out though because the house is in both of our names. I worked while he went to college and literally kept this house over his head. 5 years of being the sole provider for our family. Ill still get SOME kind of spousal support at the end of this because of everything that has happened in the last 10 years between us. There is a clear paper trail of my sacrifices and support of him, helping him reach the goals he has in the last 10 yrs. There was alot of give on my side and take on his, never equal. My lawyer thinks ill get around 950 a month. We also have a 2 year old together, so ill get child support too. Im fine with someone who doesnt know me or my situation thinking im a horrible person. Im not. it doesnt really bother me.
If OP was a dude with 2 girls to choose between, all the comments would say- ye man, fuck em both!! Lol You need to think about whose the better man for you. Really sit and think about who's gonna be there for you no matter what. Its easy to think things will be good with the guy on the side, cuz you've never actually been in a relationship with him. You're thinking of what it *could* be. Which isn't always reality.
idk. My situation is really complicated. its a LONG LONG LONG story. But basically my BF and I almost dated a few times when we were younger, the timing was always off. My husband and I started dating at 17 yrs old. We got married at 18, made alot of mistakes, and as we grew up we grew apart. My BF and I were really fucked up one night and were helping a friend of ours into bed. Well we ending up just holding each other that night. No sex, no kissing. Everything just escalated from there. its not the normal slutty wife gest bored and fucks around. There is also alot of bad history with the husband too. I would leave right now if I could but I cant.
Me too, i was like wait, is this some cuckhold shit? Bf is best friend not boyfriend...jeeze... OP let your man know youve fallen outta love with him. Realize this though because you will be looking back later, one way or another: every 5-10 years people in long term relationships get that 5 year itch. Ive known countless people who divorced, married their affair and either got cheated on or realized too late that the new relationship gets boring too and that they wished theyd made better choices such as staying with their original partner. The reasons for this are: 1. All relationships lose their spark as people get into the swing and cycle of life, unless you constantly work at it. 2. Divorce fucks people up FOREVER. I mean literally emotionally scars you. 3.the grass is only greener on the otherside because theres 6 feet of shit under it, so good luck with your landing. You will always meet someone you can breed with and think about but you may be trading down without even realizing it. 8 years is nothing to scoff at. 4. Lust comes and goes. Its a state of mind. 5. If something goes wrong, you lose them both. 6. It effects everyone in your life, from friends, to family, to coworkers. Be absolutely sure. 7. Lots and lots of fallout 8. Everyone is potentially "the one." you are the deciding factor. Everybody on earth changes personality/character/beliefs, essentially who they are every 7-8 years. It called growth. If you decide to play both fields youll have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life. Intentionally hurting someone who loves you for no other reason than self gain will make you a terrible person in many peoples eyes. The shame, lonliness, etc is not worth it and karma will catch up. Good luck OP. take that advice or leave it. Wish you all the best
You don't get to have both. Speaking from a person who was very recently cheated on, you'll end up without either and they will hate you.
All situations are complicated. Unfortunately, you're always going to find yourself talking to folks who think with their experience rather than with their brains, and take any opportunity to lash out at a new effigy of whoever hurt them. I wouldn't think too much of it.
OP hows your sex life with your SO? Is it just same old same old, or do you try new things to keep the spark going? A stale bedroom is basically the leading cause of lust and loss of attachment, because the same old routine, nevers shocks or wows, its just a thing both parties engage in
I remember a thread a while back about OP's girl hanging with her ex just "hanging out" playing xbox....i remember you being very adamant about you BF and how nothing would every happen because he was your and husbands best friend...and you were talking about trust. Just seems super hypocritical now that you post this. I only remeber this because you said how this dude stays the night while your husbands away...and I thought how fucking bizzare that was.
Im not worried about it at all. ALOT of things happen in ten years. It would take FOREVER to explain it all to someone, so im not going to. My husband has never been with another woman, I was his first kiss first GF etc. He thinks im his soul mate because he doesnt know any different. Its always been a very selfish love for him. Never selfless. I have sacrificed almost everything that made me happy for this guy, and im realizing now that it wasnt because I loved him, but because I wanted to escape the fucked up home life I had at 18, getting married was a one way ticket out. At the end of the day though, im a great mom, awesome teacher, good friend, just shitty wife. Shit happens.
IK!!! And we NEVER hooked up or anything!!! It JUST happened on new years. We have been friends for 15 years! idk something changed. and there is no going back. It was always this big brother sort of relationship then it was like all of the sudden the blinders were taken off.
Wow, is this the same redhead chick who went on about how she loves her husband and all that shit? If so......
Yuck, youre that chick who went on about that dude being your brother, talking about how I was wrong for sayin you couldnt keep your legs closed if you got too close, warning you and all that shit. You went on and on about how you were so close you were family. ThatS like incest to a degree. Fuckin gross. Wtf happened to you?
Dude that shit literally breaks my heart. I had so much respect for you, literally looked up to an envied you. How sucky man.....
That's what I'm saying man. I remember there was alot of preaching about trust........then i see this. I'm going to stay single for while
You guys are acting as if there is no possibility in the world that people can end up in relationships with the wrong person.
even though I have very strict views on cheating, Im trying to be nice since most people took the insult road. But I saw that thread, and werent you adamantly saying he could never look at you that way, despite.... every single guy saying he absolutely could? Yea..... Men dont see the little sister thing, like women see the brother thing, its just whether or not they act on it