Ok, well me and my buddy started hanging out a lot during Freshman year in High School. We skated together for years and were best buds even before weed got introduced to our lives.. Then, he started toking.. THINGS WERE GREAT. We became way better friends than before, and I could of been with that kid 24/7 everyday of my life. That was the Summer of '11.. Now, we are both Seniors in High School. We probably take the same level classes, even though we aren't in the same classes. Probably around December or January(Super recent) I started working a lot more to help with financial situations in my family. Now, that is totally fine with the both of us.. I hung out with him everytime I was out of work and we still burned just as much But, since I have been working so much he has started talking and smoking with other people.. Well, he always has the open house(isn't even 18 yet. I am) so everyone comes over to party and smoke and chill all the time. Since then my friend has lost his job(end of January), started failing school to the point of not graduating(He has to finish a 18 week online course in under 2 weeks. And it is a foreign language), and all he does is just sit at his house.. and gets smoked out by people all day.. Didn't even really notice much was changing till probably the end-ish of March.. We of course are discussing our plans for 4/20. Now, I mention of how I am going to be getting a QP, and how I am going to just be smoking with tons of people all day. Because you know, thats 4/20! Gotta show and share the love of the herb.. All he could do was interject with his new friend about how that was a horrible idea. Asking why, he said he didn't want people over to his house and I totally understand that.. So, I go "Ok, well, I definitely want to hang out with tons of people on 4/20" and immediately he rebuttled like muddled under his breath, "No your not, cause they aint coming in my house" and I basically snapped on him real quick and said "Well, didn't even plan on smoking here anyways?".. Now, let me add a significant point. My best friend NEVER buys weed.. He might spend $10 a week and just has people coming over to smoke him out all night and day. I told him if he could finish that online class before 4/20(This happened after a deep ass talk with his own father)that I would smoke him out on the entire QP.. It is now 4/18 and he probably has 2-3 weeks done of the 9 WEEK CLASS. I know he is capable of doing more because I have seen him do it before he started smoking. But, people come, smoke him out, he gets lazy and doesn't do it.. Everyday.. He has an alarm to remind him everyday and I think he might of actually disabled it. That proves he doesn't want to do it.. I think what kills me the most is he is completely ignorant about everything going on around him. He went to go apply for a job.. They told him to come back on Monday.. What does he do? Instead he got stoned, got lazy, sat on his back porch and got smoked out all evening.. Now, has no opportunity at what was almost a perfectly good job. Sorry for this being so long but basically to sum it all up TL;DR: In the past 3-4 months I have gotten a very successful job, accepted into college, and have a very financially secure life on top of paying for my owns bills. My life friend(tripped multiple times alone with each other, tons of shit that makes this kid basically inseparable from me) on the other hand has been going that exact opposite direction. He was passing school perfectly, now he is struggling to get his HS Diploma, lost multiple job opportunities, and tons of important events(Skipping a MANDATORY Senior meeting. MANDATORY doesn't mean skip it and smoke with Junior's all morning) What I am basically asking is what do I do? Should I surprise him on 4/20 and be like "Well, you couldn't even finish this easy ass course that I passed in class physically with two A's and an A on the exam(I know he is just as smart if not smarter than me too), so I don't really feel like smoking with a HS failure.." Personally I am not cool with it. I don't want to give this kid more free weed, when he isn't graduating because of this. Also, what about the future? Should I drift away slowly for my own good? Sometimes I feel like just his attitude and his mentality now a days is just horrible and it either pisses me off every time I see him, or it makes me super sad every time I see him. Lemme also add that I literally have copped the same weed as him, and smoked as much and if not more than him over the past year and like I said, my life is in a very secure good place right now.
good friends are hard to come by; but if you think he is having a negative impact on your life then i would end the friendship. If he isn't having a negative impact i would say either try to get his but in gear, and if that doesnt work just let him figure his own shit out. I don't see the problem unless he is negatively impacting your life you know.
As long as you get along with him, you two are friends. Friends come and go your whole life, as your life changes. Dont be afraid to lose friends, because you will almost always gain other ones. People drift away from each other because they have different lives, let him live his life and worry about living your own. You two chose different paths, so it's likely you will change friends as well. Don't insult him and make him feel bad , he knows what hes doing with his actions and as he matures he will one day realize what he needs to do. It is not your job. Just smoke out with him, be a cool friend, dont get taken advantage of, and go with the flow. dont worry about "losing" him as a friend, because I have many friends I see only once or twice a year and we just pick up where we left off. Those are true friends.
sorry to hear that bro. He needs to get his shit together, and if he is not even listening to his b.f. he will never change at this point at least. To put it in harsher terms...you might stop talking to him totally and he will not even notice the change until later when he realizes he lost the only true friend he had. I'm in a similar situation, and I basically am giving the kid a 2nd chance b/c he attempted (but failed) at macking on my ex. This kid is an emotional, ignorant, p.o.s. who really acts like a p** and a girl and i can't stand his ass anymore. I am transferring next year, and although he was my b.f. throughout h.s...and I feel sad that it never worked out, I am so glad it is ending. He is depressing and makes u feel bad alll the time and it ruined my freshmen year of college. ^ sorry had to vent somewhere... but along those lines, maybe finding a better friend who is more responsible would be better for you. Stay in touch with the kid and burn and whatnot..but I think yes, you are losing him slowly (unless he turns around sometimes soon)
Maybe you need a "break". I have been best friends with my buddy since I was 4. Im 22 now, and dude is 23. There have been a couple times where we have found ourselves in situations not unlike your own. Both of us were to blame at different times Id say. One time there we barely spoke, let alone hung out for a year at least. That was like 6 or 7 years ago. Now we are as close as ever. I know he has my back and I have his, which means a lot to me because I have truly been through some ridiculously retarded shit. I guess to sum it all up: In my eyes, what you choose to do about it is your business and your choice, but just because each of you may take a bit of a separate path now doesnt mean you wont still be real close again in the future.
I have a friend like that. Super lazy and never wants to do anything. Got his GED instead of diploma. Had a job, quit within a month still hasn't looked for another one. I'm about to be moving and try to move on with my life with people who are trying to go somewhere. This guy is still my friend and all and we've been friends for like 5 years, but sometimes people need to grow up.
You and your friend are changing and there isn't anything you can do for that. I was in your shoes years ago except 12 yr friendship and probably even closer. The stories I could tell .... I grew, he didn't, he is now a 2 time felon, severe alcoholic and totally disfunctional. We have no contact now. Sorry
describes my homie to the t, he's mommy lil boy and his mom is too afraid to let him go so she'll pay his way for life. some people are just ignorant because people enable this said person to be ignorant. He'll wake up one day and be like dam this is life..... But if he has people paying his way and he's comfortable in his current ways, why should he do anything if not forced to do anything. Only way ive dealt with friends like this is to just cut em off, either they find they're own way or its to another person.