Like a snowball headed for hell,,,,,,

One day God gets a tip from one of his homeys that something's not right in hell. He goes down to check it out, and when he arrives he finds hell is a balmy 75 degrees, instead of the usual 150 degrees. He finds Satan and confronts him. "Hey, why is it not hot down here" he says. Satan answers "Haha! We've got air conditioning now!!! We got us an engineer down here and he designed it for us". God answers back "Engineer? Engineers aren't supposed to go to hell for this exact reason!" Satan says "Well too bad, what are you gonna do about it" and God answers "I'll sue you!!"

Satan replies with a grin, "Good luck finding a lawyer".

 

One day Digit dies and he goes to hell. On the day he died he was outta weed so he was already pretty stressed, and by the time he gets to the gates of hell he's trippin out. "No way man! I'm in hell, this is gonna suck!!!" Satan sees that he's pretty worked up and comes over to try and calm him down. He says to Digit, "Hell is not as bad as you think, do you like to drink?" Digit says "Yeah, that's probably how I got here" and Satan says "Well you're gonna love it here on Mondays! Every Monday is all you can drink day, beer, liqour, we party hard on Monday and get plastered, and when we wake up on Tuesday there is no hangover." Digit says "Wow, well that don't sound bad, what happens on Tuesday?" Satan asks "Do you like drugs?" and Digit answers "I like 'em more than drinking." and Satan says "Well, you're gonna love Tuesday. On Tuesday we got all kinds of psychadelics, we got shroooms, acid, bud, opium, and anything else yoy want and a few killer new drugs you never saw on earth. On Tuesdays you can do as much as you want of anything and never overdose, and Wedensday morning you'll feel like a million bucks!" "Tell me more." Digit says, and Satan continues on "You look like a ladies man to me, you like the girlies?" Digit says "Hell yeah I do!" and Satan continues to explain "Wedensday is girlie day. We got 10 horny hot chicks for every 1 guy here and they wake you up in the morning and proceed to pleasure you in every concievable way all day till you beg for them to stop, and then they continue against your will till Thursday." Satan pauses, "You're not gay, are you?" Digit says "No way! I'm straight as can be!"

Satan says "Well, then, I don't think you're gonna like Thursdays here."