Discussion in 'General' started by viewfair, May 4, 2011.

  1. Hey guys, my question is, should I do what I need to do to make me happy at all costs or not? Now let me go into detail before you guys answer..

    When I was a kid, I never really exactly thought "what am I going to do when I'm older." Instead I found my life being outside, video games, computer, school, eat and sleep. I started to think that maybe I would become a computer specialist, because from a young age I was known at my school for being a computer guru,

    I would go around fixing all the teachers computer problems, at home I was always reading new things about computers, I would go on IGN daily to get my daily feed on gaming, I use to do a lot of graphic design work on photo shop and LOVED making pictures and then posting them on the internet for forums to comment. When I got into high school I said to myself, hey I'm damn good at graphic design and I'm only in grade 9 and this was 4 years ago, so I figured I'll get into this and take art courses through out high school.

    As High school went on, I stopped playing games as much.. I completely stopped doing graphic design work at home, and only at school, I know high school changed me in those two aspects of my life. I find myself at my last year of high school suppose to be applying for college and going.. "I don't want to do graphic design anymore." I was scared that I wouldn't succeed and end up like thousands of graphic designers that make no money and end up working some full time job at retail store that has absolutely nothing to do with GD.

    So I decided, hey I'll take the year off. I started realizing how seriously interested I am into animals, plants, biology and the world in general. But I didn't choose and science courses, biology or math courses in high school.. However I'd kill to go back and do it all over again so I could go into biology, or into psychology because I did take that course in high school actually. It's as if I thought to myself that I'm smarter then a graphic designer and I should be doing something more important (sounds selfish I know).

    Here I am in May, and still haven't figured out what I'm going to do, by the looks of it, I don't think I'm going to college this September either.. I want to do directing, direct tv shows and movies, and use my own stories to make my own TV shows/ and or movies someday.. But I' don't want to get into that business because it seems like there's a huge chance that I'll fail.. I' would love to do that job because I'd enjoy it and could make the most amount of money possible.

    But, my brain is telling me that I should find a job that WILL make me tons of money, and then I can use that money to do the things I love. But which is better.. As soon as somebody mentions a job that has the potential of making money, I jump on it and start researching into it. for example somebody just mentioned to me about how Gas Tech's make tons of money for installing AC and Heating. But who knows if I will enjoy that job.

    The thing that gets me so down about this, is that I loved doing graphic design before.. and I loved video games, and in fact I still play video games to this day and have all the systems, except I don't ever go on the internet and read about all the news about them anymore, and I don't play games very often at all. But i feel that i should, it's like I'm upset with myself for not wanting to do these things. Fuck, I can't even remember the last time I beat an RPG, it's like i think of excuses for not playing them, as in there time wasting, so I'll watch a smart tv show or learn a song on the guitar because it seems more beneficial, but is it really?

    I'm starting to question my existence altogether, life's not really that great but it's also not that bad, I should be so grateful for what I have compared to some people. (Really wish I had a job right now though). I'm a really nice guy and believe in Karma strongly.. but now I wonder if I should do all means necessary to bring myself to the top to make the money and honestly forget about Karma.

    There's a lot more I could say but I'm already pushing it, and who knows if anybody will read this all, let alone understand what I mean and respond. But prove me wrong GC.

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