I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have been seeing for well over two years now, and she is an aspiring model. She is actually getting flown out to Hong Kong this summer for two months so she can jump start her career by her modeling agency in Manhatten. Recently, we have talked about her possibly doing some half nude shots, or the fact that a lot of modeling is posing with other guys; both of which makes me extremely uncomfortable. She also says it makes her uncomfortable, so I told her not to do it then. I can't stand the idea of seeing other guys all over her (or girls, for that matter), or vice versa, regardless of the circumstance, and I can't seem to let go. These scenarios haven't happened yet, she has only done implied nudes (where she's half naked, but covers herself up) which I can deal with, though am not a big fan of. Even if I asked her to pick between these aspects of modeling modeling and me, I'm sure I wouldn't come up the winner. She says she is just beginning, so she really is in no position to turn those scenarios down. However, I feel that if she isn't comfortable, and i'm not comfortable, she should be able to draw her line at her comfort zone. We have had the marriage discussion many times, same thing with talking about children. I'm madly in love with this girl, and want nothing more than to make this relationship work. However, I don't want to be constantly hurt by having to see these sorts of pics as she begins to blow up; they seem inevitable. The thing is, if there was something that was as important to her, and hurt her, and upset her as much as as the thought of other guys all over her upsets me, and I realized that, I wouldn't do it. I would feel like it would only be detrimental to our relationship. Granted, I wouldn't necesarily be happy with it, but I ultimately would want her to feel happy, and secure, knowing that I would be willing to make that sort of sacrifice for her. If anyone has any thoughts on the subject, advice, etc, i'd love to hear it. It was so upsetting to me yesterday, and was weighing so heavily on my mind I had to call her, and I just broke down. Thanks guys.
Does she bring in decent money? Does she act differently around you when your together? It sounds akward as hell, i agree, but it doesn't sound like anything is wrong between you guys; it sounds like you guys have a agood relationship. This is a HUGE oppertunity for her, and like she said it is something that she is just getting started in, its not like she can turn them down. I don't know man; personally if it was me and my girlfriend, id be ok with it. Just pay attention to her expressions and stuff. I mean, she said she feels uncomfortable as well with it, it sounds like she has YOU on her mind, man. I'd show up on set in Johnny Cage sunglasses with a huge smile... "Thats my doll."
Not yet, since she is just starting most of her modeling yields various products, clothes, and pictures for her portfolio. She said she'd probably be comming back with a few grand from Hong Kong, but I have no idea how much. What do you mean by act differently? Thats the thing, it's by far the best relationship I have ever had, which is why it is so frustrating. On the one hand I want to be able to support her, and stand behind her; I only want her happy. On the other, the very thought makes me very uneasy, and while she says that the person doing those sorts of pictures is different from the girl I know and love, I visually can't see it. I can only see the guys on top of her, etc, and I don't like the idea of it. I understand this is a huge opportunity for her, and I am excited and dreading it at the same time. However, were I in that position, if something bothered me, and my girlfriend that much, it would seem like two red flags to me, and I personally wouldn't do it. You are probably right that she has me on her mind. Thanks, man, that made me feel a little better. That's the other thing, I can't show up on set. I've been to two castings with her in Manhatten before, and they seemed sketchy as hell. One photographer looked like a heroin addict (no bullshit) though was very curteous, and actually let me in. The other closed the door in my face, and made me wait outside. She's a beautiful, naive, girl, and I worry about her possible getting her self into a dangerous situation, and I won't be able to be there to rescue her. The whole idea of her going into random guys (photographers) apartments without anyone else worries me. I wish I could go to these shoots with her, I know i'd feel better being able to be with her. Even as I write, she has like 5 different castings in the City. Btw, I like your idea with the Johnny Cash sunglasses; I wish I could. Well, thanks for your prompt response, and allowing me to vent. Any more responses, or advice is definitely appreciated from anyone/everyone. Thanks guys, it's good to be able to turn to The City for help.
You either have to make a choice of supporting her decisions, or let her go. It sounds like you are trying to impose your decisions on her, and rationalizing it with lines like "I want to be able to support her, and stand behind her; I only want her happy." If you meant that, then you should be happy that you have a girl that has her own ambitions, because YOU can't make her happy. SHE has to make her happy. She isn't a show dog, she's a human with dreams and desires that need to be fulfilled. Those dreams and desires may not align with yours. You'll have to become comfortable with the fact that her tits might make it in a magazine, and some hot guys might rub up against her in a shoot. You need to have the courage to let her do her thing. If it works out, at the end of the day, you'll with a model that no one else is, so deal with the insecurities. I had to be blunt, because if she's just starting out as a model, she's probably young. If she passes up this opportunity, how many more will come along? Sorry if this sounded blunt, I'm sure you have lots to think about already. But if you actually love her, think about what will make her happy 5 years from now. Good luck.