Letter to my Ex

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by Buzz, Oct 18, 2005.

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  1. Dear Terri,

    I know the counselor said we shouldn\'t contact each other during our
    \"cooling off\" period, but I couldn\'t wait anymore. The day you left, I
    swore I\'d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
    boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
    contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back
    to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride\'s cost
    me a lot of things. I\'m tired of pretending I don\'t miss you. I don\'t
    care about looking bad anymore.

    I don\'t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe
    it\'s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is
    what my heart says... \"There\'s no one like you, Terri.\"

    I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they\'re
    not you. They\'re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the
    Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don\'t say this to hurt you,
    but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

    She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that
    only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean,
    just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn\'t believe and an ass like a
    tortoise shell. Every man\'s dream, right?

    But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we\'ve made important in our lives. It\'s all so surface. What
    does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this
    case, yes. But you see what I\'m getting at. Does it make her a better
    person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive
    Terri? I doubt it. And I\'d never really thought of that before. I don\'t
    know, maybe I\'m just growing up a little.

    Later, after I\'d tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found
    myself thinking, \"Why do I feel so drained and empty?\" It wasn\'t just
    her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something
    else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And
    then it hit me. It didn\'t feel the same because you weren\'t there,
    Terri, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without
    you, baby.

    Jesus, Terri, I\'m just going crazy without you. And everything I do just
    reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt.
    Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of
    lasagna. She said she figured I wasn\'t eating right without a woman
    around. I didn\'t know what she meant till later, but that\'s not the real
    story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know
    we\'re fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad\'s a total monster in
    the sack. She\'s giving me everything, you know like a real woman does
    when she\'s not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can
    hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your
    grandmother\'s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle
    it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it\'s totally hot, but it makes
    me sad too. \'Cause I can\'t help thinking, \"Why didn\'t Terri ever put the
    mirror on the floor? We\'ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and
    we never used it as a sex aid.\" (Some of this I thought about later.)
    You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so
    caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each
    other. And then you lose yourself. That\'s the saddest part of all for

    But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only
    want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of
    the restraining order. I mean, Shannon\'s just a kid and all, but she\'s
    got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She\'s been a real friend to me
    during this painful time. She\'s given me lots of good counsel about you
    and about women in general. (She\'s pulling for us to get back together,
    Terri. She really is.)

    So we\'re drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here\'s
    this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let\'s face it, she got
    an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much
    she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.
    And then it turns out Shannon\'s really into the whole anal thing and
    that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about
    trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between
    us. But do you see how even then, when I\'m thrusting inside the steaming
    hot Dutch oven of your sister\'s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of
    you? It\'s true, baby. In your heart you know it.

    Don\'t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances
    and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you\'d
    just try it, I wouldn\'t have to pressure you so much. Because who needs
    all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can\'t be apart
    from you.

    Because I love you.

  2. that was deep man,i know ull get ur girl back wiht that note ;)

  3. Thanks man...I\'ve tried everything else.

    Whatever happens, I appreciate your support. ;)
  4. how old r u buzz?im 19,ya them coeds can suck a dick pretty well eh?

  5. lol...I\'m 40...one of the old stoners here in the city, but the weed keeps me young! :D
  6. 40 isnt old at all man.wow u hooked up wiht a coed?nice man + rep

  7. Dude, Thanks for the props, but I gotta admit that the letter is really a joke...lol...in reality I may send one like it to my wife at the current rate of things...but I don\'t intend to be trolling the dorms or bars for coeds anytime soon...however, don\'t hesitate to send a few stoner chicks my way... :smoke:
  8. Haha, I don\'t think anyone actually read, it once i got to the part about fuckin her sister, I knew it was a joke. :cool::p +Rep it gave me a chuckle.
  9. That was a pretty funny letter. I thought it was serious at first, but it just kept getting worse and worse. Now...let\'s save it to my hard drive in case I ever need it.
  10. i could never spend that much time writting a \'joke\' letter to much effort
  11. That was halarious! +rep
  12. lmao......BUZZZZZZ!!! i just gave u a +rep for that joke letter lol. i shoulda read the whole thing first... lol. ahhh, i like ya anyways, i woulda gave ya a good rep sometime or other anyways :smoke:

    edit.......forgot to add my name there when i gave ya a rep. i gave ya some womanly advice. lol. but u probly know that already lol.

  13. Daisey, mah sexy thang, you\'re tha best! .....Glad you enjoyed the letter...I haven\'t sent it to my wife yet...but you never know....lol

    Props back to YOU girl.




  14. well thnx hun, u just made my day :D !!
  15. Haha, I read the entire letter and I thought it was serious. I was gonna tell you that you should expect a brick through your car windshield sometimes soon, until I read the rest of the replies...
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