let me take you with me if you want to come along...be able to put aside everything-job, family, money...just come with me...let me make you free if you want it, let me raise your bowed head drooping in defeat, just let me... let me give you momentary happiness if you know lasting happiness is not possible...believe me, let me send shivers thru your body...let me plant beauty in and around you, let me be your sieve and filter all the badness that total your sadness... let me say to your father "i cannot guarantee anything bad wont happen to her, but if something does happen to her, something worse will happen to me first", let me make you trust me, allow yourself to lower you defenses, let it be... let me kiss your tears if you are not ashamed...let me hold your hand as a true man, as a man willing to give his mental stability for you...will you let me ruin myself for you if that is what i want?...what i need? please....let me let me kill murder and maim if need be, let me think and do the unspeakable to absolve our mutual sins woman...let me brush aside all propriety just to put a better smile on your face, let me allow you bigger hopes and dreams...just let me
*brofist* the hurt of the heart can kill...if self-preservation is what you need to do, then that is what you need to do...
Nice post OP. I like your thinking style. I write a bit also. If you want critic type feedback let me know.
i think its the leash that makes the jackass lol. ya know resentments and unsetteled bs. BUT OP this is prettyyy friggin sweet man, also notepaded.
thanks stinksgood, i appreciate it...whatever you feel like inputting, here is fine... thanks chrismitty...glad you enjoyed it....(am i repeating myself or what?....lol)
Watch for extraneous modifiers that detract from or overly specify your voice, such as the word mental in the writing above. Sometimes the strength of writing is leaving enough wiggle room for everyone to relate.
i especially felt the "Sometimes the strength of writing is leaving enough wiggle room for everyone to relate." part...but god knows im of the art for arts sake school (not that my i see my writing as art but you know what i mean)...
thanks for thumbs up stinksgood....i didnt want to do another thread so im just gonna continue here: true, i will eventually be a shadow of my despicable former self...but i dont fight it i cant fight it...not because its a losing battle but because the notion is natural true, i choose not to go against the grain of life, against the flow of manifest logic i cant right it...not because i dont want to, but because i am powerless to do so i am a lowly conformist as such, from whom you cannot expect too much a weakling i am, a parasitic man that relies on the progressive elements of society command respect i shall not...for never will i breast the risks of change for unknowns remembrance and beatification appeal to me not...not even a crystal clear shot at glory command power i shall not...i shall beg clemency from the fickle forgers of my destiny semblance and indignation of a coward...i seethe, i boil within...what i am foments my fury i feed on my own hate...my trough overflows with my soul as i cringe at the putrid glop an inconsequential speck i am, a pathetic pawn...by design, by fate, by the only choice that i have i, my friend, was born to die