Let me get your honest opinions on my rhyme

Discussion in 'Music genres, Bands and Artists' started by CheechMarley420, Jan 16, 2009.

  1. #1 CheechMarley420, Jan 16, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2009
    \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tFuck a bitch, all i do is get money
    Its funny how i spit sick shit when im blunted
    Its funny how i turn a dollar to a hundred
    Its funny how you yap your gums but do nothin
    You start runnin, everytime i put up my fists
    You duck and you dodge but i bet you cant duck this
    Click clack, get back or its over
    Ill fuck your bitch til she cant sit, then roll over
    I smoke blunts til i cant see straight
    Then i go to the cupboard and get out 3 plates
    And i fill those motherfuckers up to the brim
    Eat so much, like its a motherfuckin sin
    Now lets begin, lets rap battle bastard
    Im white like a ghost but not friendly like casper
    Ill tear your face up, and my rhymes will eat ya soul
    Always share your stuff thats what my teacher told
    Me, so ill share this whole fuckin clip witcha
    You cant beat me, get the god damn pitcha
    Im by myself but your with all your goons
    Thinkin that you guysll put me into my tomb
    Dont you pussies ever think that your takin my life
    Ill pull the the tec 9 trigger til my knuckles turn white

     
  2. Honestly... its fluffy and over the top. Try bein a little more real with yourself.
     
  3. I wouldnt put up on no record deal but if you were with your homies or in with people that be pretty cool
     
  4. Honestly on that i was tryin to be over the top and literally as creative as i could because im fuckin blazed out my mind haha
     
  5. Yo, if you want me to post some of my shit i will, but like, what he said you need to be more real with yourself and like just sit and let it all spill out, blah, im baked as fuck, i hate explaining this shit when im baked hahaha.
     
  6. Looks like you just kinda wrote down whatever came to your head, let it sit in your mind and sort your shit out, then write it down.
     
  7. Thats what i do bout 90% of the time but i was just like fuck it, im high as hell
     
  8. if it was a freestyle and you didnt edit nothin, it would be pretty straight.. but if its a verse that you wrote up to record or something its pretty weak on the account that its too simple (imo).. its got basic one-syllable rhymes and not enough wordplay for my liking.. i liked your last bar tho, that shit went hard

    "Ill pull the the tec 9 trigger til my knuckles turn white"
     

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