I had some ego loss, and felt like my personality was cracking... My ego stopped hiding the negative traits of my thought patterns, emotions, and personality. So all this surfaced, i felt like a different person, a bad, evil person who had a cracked personality. At first i thought it was horrible, i thought i had fucking split, and gone crazy.. But after having a 4 hour talk, most of which on mdma, i realized a great truth about myself, and now i no longer have any of thoes undesierable traits, as far as i can tell... I feel like a better person, a new person. i purged all the negative apsects of myself and feel amazing. I realize proboally none of this makes sense, but it all works out in my head It dosent matter if i sound like a crackpot though, because i learned something
That's what happens during my come ups usually. I feel all my negative thoughts and feelings surfacing, sometimes projecting themselves outside of my mind and through my emotions. But once I start to plateau, I begin to confront these feelings; realizing where the problems truly lie and seeing that there is a simple solution to most of them, that they can be overcome by positive emotions and deep thought as opposed to negativity and procrostination. This has always been my favorite thing about psychedelics, the state of emotional clarity and the opportunity to truly delve into the mind to uncover the root of what makes you live in a negative fashion. This reason is also why I hate people who use psychedelics as just another cheap high, people who have learned their entire lives to abuse substances to forget their problems instead of a catalyst to confront them, the people who project these negative thoughts around them and give drugs a negative image to many people.
See, i put psycedelics in the title because its most relavent. But i acheived this with out any. I was on .3 mdma, ketamine and 1/4oz weed +muscle relaxants... ketamine+mdma being what gave me partial ego death
You can honestly achieve a state of clarity through pretty much any drug; a thorough understanding of the effects they will have on you and an appropriate environment are a few requirements. MDMA is a great teacher as it usually takes you out of many emotional downs you may have and brings you into a state of empathy; it helps me understand the thoughts and feelings of others and how to apply these thoughts to myself for further emotional enlightenment. K is also a good teacher as it puts you in a state where your mental barriers are broken down, a state where your mind is free to wander to wherever it damn well pleases. I generally avoid K most of the time due to the fact that I may be risking death or mental destruction every time I use it, but find it extremely enlightening on occasion. The combination of the two sounds interesting to me though.
everything i thought, everything i knew to be fact about myself was shatterd. It was amazing, so was the high tho i was fucking mashed.
K is like that, it will absolutely destroy the mental blockades you put up to be a functioning member of society for a small period of time and allow you to reflect on the things you rarely think about. It's great on occasion for people seeking a short state of complete meditation, but it's one of the worst drugs you can abuse for the same reason; the mind can only handle so much before it begins to cave. Keep that one rule of thumb in mind and you'll be in for much better experiences when you do actually decide to use things like K.