Alright so for the past couple of weeks I've been dating this cute girl I started working with like a month or so ago and I really like her and kind of thought she felt the same. Idk what happened but two nights ago I took her out and wanted to go for a night time walk on the waterfront. I picked her up and things were going smoothly in that sort of cute awkward way I interact with any girl I'm into. I had rolled up a big blunt for the two of us which we smoked at which point she decided that the waterfront was too far and that she just wanted to get off the highway. I got off the highway and drove to a movie theater and literally had to BEG her to do anything. She was way too high I think while I have a decent tolerance. Well I got her to come to a movie with me and we had a decent time, cuddled the whole time although she wanted to leave like an hour into it which I didn't care. So I drove her home, gave her some bud for a lil cash and we kissed for a few seconds and she walked off, seemingly content with the date and hopefully wanting to hang out again. Well yesterday I didn't contact her and I was busy camping in the woods (tripping on a safe but unmentionable drug). When I just tried to talk to her this morning to see if she was working she was like "don't hit me up." I thought she was kidding but then she hit me back saying "you're just too wierd, you're not my type I mean you had to beg me to do things with you." She was the one who was being unreasonable! Why would she agree to go out with me if she didn't want to do anything at all I just don't get it. Also what I don't get is why I care so much?! I think I sort of fell for her and really feel kind of hurt. I haven't seen her in person yet so I really don't know what to do. I suppose it was a bad idea to even try this because I'm moving away to school (Umass Amherst) in a month but I still have feelings for her and this fucking sucks. Any advice? I'm definitely not very good with girls and I am a little weird but I do like HER. tl:dr Was dating a girl, thought it was going well. It wasn't, she doesn't want to see me anymore and I'm hurt and confused, talk to me.
First off, I hope this is a troll thread. If not; Seriously? Not all girls go on a date to hook up with a guy. She probably was just trying to talk and get to know you, and if you were lucky, she would have made out with you. Guys "begging" is very unattractive to a girl...even if she is just looking for some casual action. Also; just cuz you shared weed with her, it isn't a one way ticket into her pants.
Well dude I did kiss her and I didn't really have to beg for that. I had to beg her to do anything aside from sitting in my car doing nothing! Also I never even mentioned in my post anything about having sex with her.
She didn't want to do anything, (for whatever reason), and you pestered her until she did. Nobody likes a nag, and some people are paranoid/shy around others when they smoke. That aside, it sounds like maybe she's not into you that way, and she was using you for weed, then you charged her. Some chicks are like that, unfortunately. The good news is that she stopped things before you got even more invested. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you, because it's a waste of time. Better to be free to meet someone who actually does like you and want to be with you. And TBH I think you might have dodged a bullet.
1) Fuck that chick man. There are other bitches in the sea 2) I fucked a chick from Umass and basically taking that sample and applying it to the whole of Umass I suggest forgetting this chick and having a great time at that university (if you catch my drift)
Yeah that sucks. I feel like the only answer to this thread is sympathy- but come on! you win some, you lose some. Life goes on.
Thanks guys I really appreciate the support, I don't really like to talk to my parents or friends about these kind of things because I find it really embarrassing, especially when I've been told that I'm too weird to date. What sucks is that we work together so I have to see her. I was leaving as she was coming in today and I successfully avoided her and luckily didn't make eye contact haha. I'm still trying my best to completely forget about her.
Just smile and be polite when you do actually have to speak to her. Just be casual, don't make a big deal of the fact that she was a bitch to you. If she ever brings it up you can let her know that you found what she said to be extremely rude and that you're glad you found out what she was like sooner instead of later. Also, don't dodge her; let her dodge you. She's the one who should be ashamed of herself; not you. Don't ever let anyone make you feel or act like you're less than them. Your self esteem should be protected from people who raise theirs by diminishing yours. If you're not feeling great about yourself right now, work on that by setting some goals for yourself then striving to achieve them. It makes you feel good, which gives you confidence, and that makes you more attractive regardless of any oddities you possess. (we're all weird in our own ways so don't sweat it)
Just a little update. I feel 100% better. I've just been working hard, skateboarding alot, and have pretty much completely forgotten about it. It wasn't serious and I can't believe that I even cared that much. Perhaps I'll hit up a rave or something and try to meet someone else to forget even more. Thanks for the advice guys.
Alright it's kinda complicated now Idk what to do we've been seeing eachother around and not talking at all its kinda awkward but she always looks at me. She kinda sent me a text this morning saying "I'm sorry for what I said I feel like the biggest bitch you were nothing but nice to me and I took advantage of that. I hate seeing you and never getting a hello or anything. idk how you feel about me anymore but I apologize, etc. etc." She suggested starting over. I know it's a ticking time bomb and she's pretty fucked up but I'm pretty fucked up too. I swear to god I felt as though I had totally forgotten her and I wouldn't have contacted her but its different when she actually tries to talk to me. Fuck I'm weaker than I thought.
EDIT: Didn't realize this is an older post. Allow me to respond to your newer post. I'm glad to hear you got an apology from her. Don't be spiteful OP. We're all just humans looking for someone to love us; give her another chance and see how it goes. Best of luck to you
i really have no clue what to say. if she apologized i wanna say forgive her but if i were you i'd be really hurt and wouldn't want to look like a bitch. but in the end i feel like i'd accept her apology just because that's the way i am. i say forgive her, if she fucked you over twice after apologizing already she's gonna be in a real bad position.
She felt bad for being mean to you, but clearly she doesn't like you. But man take the hint. If you are with a girl and she keeps trying to back out of everything with you then she isn't interested. Want to go to the lake? No. See a movie? I'll stay for a half hour. Its easier than you think. If some hot girl asked you out to the movies would you leave a half hour into it? Of course not. Unless she was bothering you and you wanted to go home. Just because she said she feels bad about calling you weird doesn't mean things are starting over. Tell her whatever. You aren't mad, but there is clearly no sense in hanging out anymore. She isn't trying to date you, she just doesn't want to be in an awkward situation at work all day. Within another date or two, she will say "I'm glad we're friends again." Key emphasis on "friend". Don't waste your time or money on her, you will just lose even more respect in her eyes.
#1. She probably was too high. Sometimes when I'm too high I forgot why I'm hanging out with someone and I'm like WHAT THE FUCK and I get super awkward and can't comprehend my boundaries. haha #2. I think your only chance at making this work is to be confident as fuck the next time you see her. Make sure it's night time, make sure you guys are alone. Walk up to her and put your hand around her waist and the other hand on the back of her neck and just kiss her. Don't give her any time to think. She'll be overwhelmed and she'll looove it. #3. I'm a female and if any guy did this to me (any guy that I knew and at least kind of liked) I would definitely be surprised and turned on.
It's not happening man. She's just not into you. She gave it a shot and after the blunt apparently realized that she isn't into you. After that, instead of backing off, you got a little clingy and it seems like she felt pressured into cuddling and kissing. Now she is playing the "I'm sorry I am a bitch, let's just be friends" card. I would continue to ignore her, personally.