So lately, i've been just depressed and sad all the time. I've had trouble finding a job for the past few months. It seems as every where i go something comes up and that job isn't available to me anymore or just never comes through.. i apply, i call, i go in.. just nothing ever happens. I got accepted to college. but since i havent lived in the state for more than 12 months im considered a non resident, which is a shitie bitch cause its 8 grand more than being a resident. But the thing is. I was raised in this state for 17 years, moved out of state in june 2009 for a job, and came back in march this year. and now im considered a non resident. So i might have to postpone school for another year and might lose my GI Bill payment for my school. I feel like i've grown distant from everyone, or they have from me. All my friends that i thought were my friends aren't ever really there anymore or care. Like i should be happy, but i can't really ever muster to be so.. I'm thankfull for everything i have, but no matter what i do i can't ever really truely be happy. I feel like there is a hole somewhere in my mind or my heart that i can't fill. i feel like im wearing a mask. Everything i do i try my best at. but i never can satisfy myself and everything starts turning into negative thoughts. I guess im losing the ability to see good in the things i do. I have no idea what i want to do with my life and things that i once used to love have lost their flare. and it sucks too cause lately weed has only made things worse.. making me think too much and getting even more down on myself. first time this has ever happened in my 3 years of being a stoner. I have given up on girls as for the time being, who wants to date a depressed/jobless/socially awkward person? I know there are people out there that have it worse than i do and have more problems.. and me acting this way only makes me more mad at myself. I feel like i've kinda dug my own hole and i can't really find a way to get out. Maybe just the combination of no work, this dilemma with my school, some girl problems a couple months ago, kinda took a tole on me. Can grasscity give me some advice on how to get to be happy again? What do you guys do when your in a dilemma? Am i just being a bitch and need to man-up? i just feel so lost. thanks for reading..
Cheer up hun. The same thing with out of state residency happened to my boyfriend. Also a lot of your problems sound like his, as far as the drifting away from people and losing contact and job situation/college situation go. The only thing to do is look forward and know it won't be like this forever. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance, my boyfriend has been on anti depressants before and they've helped him but without health insurance I think his best bet (and yours if you don't want prescription medicine) is just try to look at any silver lining you can and know you will be looking back at this time in the near future... also, helps me.
Hey man cheer up. Nobody knows how you feel and you're the only person that knows what you want and who can go about changing it. Sooo what do you want? Forget all the bad shit that is going on because in all honesty it sounds like its out of your control, you have to learn to cope with things that are out of your control. Between the college issue and the friends issue, these are things you didn't decide. Of course you can reach out to your friends and if they want they'll reach back if not move on ya know? I've felt like this for a while off and on. MJ is good, but sometimes she can be a hassle in terms of overthinking or whatever else. I find the small things in life are the ones that keep you happy and sane. Find a low cost hobby, you can eat better and get into shape. There's tons of things out there. Go for a walk, volunteer to meet other singles. You mentioned finding a gf. Assuming you have good hygiene, I'd start simple convos with people and be friendly but assertive. Through all of it just remember things will not always be this way. This is your life and things will change, the least you can do for YOUrself is it make it as fun and 'bearable' as possible. I know this is a rough patch in your life, but you can at least make an effort to be happy and enjoy everything around you. Good luck
I am just getting out of your situation myself so I hope I can help somewhat. To start with, if you have the GI Bill I'm assuming you're a military brat. Because of that, you actually get instate wherever you or your parents are stationed as well as the home state of whatever parents is in the military. (I get the GI Bill too and had to deal with the out of state situation.) For the depression and other issues, get on that ASAP. See a psychiatrist - nothing to be ashamed of. And live your life! Do what you enjoy and make the most of what you can. That way, even when you're feeling down about your friends then you still have something constant within yourself. Also, your friend situation will look up. Sometimes depression causes so much clouding that we don't see the whole situation. It's really tough but you you'll save a lot of time and hurt if you deal with this as much as you can starting right now. Best wishes to you and I hope things work out.
I read your post three times... still can't see what the REAL problem is... Do you have a problem besides the ones you already mentioned? What's the REAL problem that's bugging you?
Two concrete changes you can make today: First, when you get up (or the night before) look into what you can do to improve your situation. Focus on what you can change: you can't change how other people act, so don't worry about that. Instead, focus on what you can. You're out 8 thousand dollars for college. You can easily cover this with a student loan, and they're widely available. It sounds like the GI Bill will pay for the rest. Even better, the difference is ONLY 8 thousand, verses the $40k+ some schools might charge. College usually takes 4 years, and after your first year you should have residency again. 8,000/4 = 2,000. 2000/12 = $167 (rounded up). At minimum wage ($7.25), this means a job where you work 6 hours a week will completely pay off your loan by the time you graduate. If you work 10 hours a week, not only can you pay it off, but you'll have spending money. The same goes if you get a job paying even slightly more than minimum. So take out the loan and start applying for part-time jobs. That brings us to the second change. Apply for loans and jobs each day BEFORE you smoke. Then when you smoke, you can recall all of the work you've done (getting money for college, getting a job to help with that), and feel better about yourself. You'll have done something concrete and have that small victory to celebrate. Over time, you can build up momentum. As you focus on what you've accomplished (instead of roadblocks) you'll gain confidence. In a year, you might even be shocked at reading how you felt "back then". Good luck!
Maybe if you quit smoking for awhile you'd have more money, more job opportunities would open up, and you'd be less likely to spend your time chillin and more likely to be driven to do something.