Just letting off some steam

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by DutchR7, Sep 13, 2009.

  1. So there's this girl I fell for a while back, I won't go into the details, but I met her 4 months ago out of state, then I had to move back home for a while, and now i'm back. There hasn't been a single day in those 4 months that I haven't thought about her. She has a boyfriend across the country (she knew him for 2 weeks before he moved away, and apparently he's moving back here in 6 months or so). She's off visiting him right now for a few days, and, fml, she booked the plane tickets on my computer :(. I hang out with her every day so i'm pretty much stuck in the friend zone, but she also knows I like her, I actually told her when I was last here. It didn't make anything awkward so I guess that's good.

    SO i'm left sitting here wondering what they're doing. The nights will be worse because I know they're gonna sleep with each other for the first time. I don't have any weed, i've actually been on a t-break for about a month. I feel great with it out of my system, but I have a feeling i'll need a J or two over the next few days.

    So blades, do you think their relationship will work out? I'm certainly not going to try to break them up, in fact i've been fully supportive of them, even when she complains that he's acting weird (he went to the beach with a girl a week or so ago, and yesterday he had coffee with an ex), I back him up and make excuses for him. Just following the bro code I guess. But seriously, she knew him for 2 WEEKS, and now he's literally across the country for the next 6 months. You'd think it would be kinda hard to be a boyfriend from that far away.

  2. She got a dude, gtfo before he comes and fucks you up.
  3. Not to steal the thread, but hey dude could you hit me up with a link to that video in your sig, I always hear people talking about it but I haven't been able to find it.
  4. It's impossible to tell if it will work out, but if it was me in your shoes (I've been in similar situations in my time), I would either stay away from both of them, or stop defending the guy if you really want this girl.

    The friend zone is nowhere to be, man, and it sounds like you've firmly placed yourself in that horrible zone.
    I hate to be blunt dude, but you sound a little obsessed - thinking about this girl everyday for 4 months? And you're thinking about what they're doing together right now? And it makes it worse because you're thinking about them sleeping together for the first time? You can't think about a girl with a boyfriend that much. It can't be healthy to think about their relationship as much as it seems you do.

    9 out of 10 times it's only going to end up badly for you. I've been in very similar settings, man. Once you're in the friend zone, you're pretty much a eunuch to her.

    But you have to elaborate more on how she reacted when you told her you liked her. That reaction is probably very telling, you know? If it wasn't awkward, that's a good thing for sure. Has she shown any interest towards you in a boyfriend sort of way?
  5. Haha well i'm certainly not obsessed with her. I know it sounds like that, but i'm completely sane. I mean you know what it's like when you really fall for a girl, you really can't stop thinking about her.

    Well while I was still here 4 months ago, my friend spilled the beans to her because he thought he sensed chemistry between us and thought he was doing me a favor. While I was shopping with her and another friend, my friend and I stepped away for a second and he told me what happened. It was a shock to me because things were completely normal, she wasn't acting weird or anything. I was feeling shitty that day anyway and she insisted that we go shopping anyway. After he told me that she knew, the rest of the night felt weird, even though it was all in my head.

    I texted her later that night and admitted that I had "a little bit of a crush" on her, but I don't want to ruin the friendship so I promise I won't make a move. She texted back immediately saying that it's ok, it's not awkward one bit, she loves hanging out with me, and "we'll just see how things go". She was really convincing, and for the next week (before I had to go home for a few months) we hung out like normal.
  6. Long distance is hard! Proximity makes the heart stronger, ya dig?

    Just don't go interfering if you want to be the fall-back guy. Wouldn't you rather have a girl that's into you though? There's plenty of fish in the sea my friend!
  7. Hmmm, well it's good to hear that. If it wasn't awkward and she wants to see how things go, then maybe you do have a shot. But you probably don't want to be her back-up guy, right? Do you really want to wait around for her while she's with this guy?
    In other words, do you think she's worth waiting for and being her back-up guy?

  8. What do you recommend? I know it sounds weird but I feel like she likes me more than him anyway. She's always complaining about how he's acting weird or something, but she's always comfortable with me. Just little body language things, like she'll touch my arm or my leg, and there isn't a "personal bubble" when she's around me -- like she'll sit or stand right next to me.
  9. I would reccommend that you maybe ask one of your mutual friends if they see that there's chemistry and attraction between you too, and what they think about the possibility of your two having a relationship in the future. They would know a better than I would.

    I'm not saying this girl is this way, but I've met girls in my time who played games a lot - giving mixed signals, complaining about their boyfriend for attention. Stuff like that.
    Be careful with your heart in other words. You don't want to fall for a girl only to find out later she was playing mind games.

    But I'm hoping we get a female in this topic to share her perspective - a girl might be able to figure out what's up better than us guys.

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