Job vs Woman: what would you do?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SlamDaddy, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. Last summer while working as a forestry intern, I met a woman.  We soon began dating and have now grown very close to each other.  We've never had an argument, and I can honestly say I've never even been upset with her.  She's awesome.  We've been successfully doing a long distance relationship while I finish my degree (May 2014).  We are 135 miles away and see each other every weekend.  We would live with each other if we lived closer.  I should add that we're both divorced and in our 40's.  She owns 2 successful businesses and I sold a business and made enough money to go back to college.
    Here's the potential problem.  Most of the entry level forestry jobs are with the USFS and most of their jobs are out west.  She knows that I've been applying for several jobs in WY, MT, WA, OR, ID, UT and SD.  She knows I will not be happy if I don't get a forestry job.  After all, I sold a successful business to do something I've always wanted to do, forestry.  She's told me she wants me to be happy and that we'll work it out.  These entry level jobs are temporary and I'd be done in October.  She can't move with me because of her businesses.
    Here are my options as I see it:
    1.  Say the hell with being a forester and find a job near her.
    2.  Trust that it will work out and take the first entry level job in forestry that I can find.
    What do you guys think?

  2. Follow your dreams and try and work it out. She isn't going to leave her businesses.
    If you don't follow your dreams you may resent her later in life for it.
  3. Is there anything that you could do and remain close to her that would still be fulfilling for you? Enough so that you wouldn't feel like you were losing out and eventully harbor resentment toward her for it?

    It is a tough call.

    Relationships are about compromise and you both have to be willing to do that. I don't think you should sacrifice everything while she sacrifices nothing. Maybe you can meet in the middle somehow? Maybe alter your time frame and come up with some goals that you can make together?
  4. I think we're both mature enough to get through 6 months of my being away.  We could probably lineup a once or twice a month meeting.  And it would only be from May to October.  After I move back, I would live with her and try to find a forestry job near her for the next season (after I gain some experience).
  5. She cant give up everything to be with you. But YOU can give up everything to be woth her...?


    PS. Try as hard as you want to justify it, but at the end of the day, you know im right.

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  6. Do what your heart tells you. It a tough decision. Hope everything turns out for the best.

    I dont do drugs, I set plants on fire and breathe.
  7. Have you looked into the state forestry agencies or something along the lines of fish & wildlife or park services?
    Not an easy call. What are her thoughts about it?
  8. So you have to temporarily put your moving in together on hold til October? Or is this a seasonal thing every year?
  9. #9 Paper Planes, Feb 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2014
    Job. In this situation, always job.
    If it was something you could do with a comparable position somewhere close-by, I'd say choose her. But I've got a friend who is kind of in the same position, and his degree has been literally useless to him because he can't find any forestry jobs where we are. If this is your dream, dude, you've got to do it.
    You'll find someone who will fit into your situation; the last thing you want to do is end up resentful at a person (or give yourself any reason to be) because you sacrificed something so huge for them.
  10. Take the temp job.  Looks like it would only be for 5-6 months.  If your relationship is strong it can last that long.
    Once that job is over, start looking again where she lives.  There are forestry programs in every state.
    Good luck!
  11. Whatever would make you more happy. Theres always a chance to find another woman. 
    I have a damn good job so I'd probably stay with mine.
  12. I haven't even read the post but .... ImageUploadedByGrasscity Forum1392487170.786861.jpg

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  13. I say stick with the Forestry Job. It's what you've always wanted, and like you said the separation would only be temporary and if you don't take this opportunity now, you could regret it for your entire life.
  14. if it's ur dream job dont give it up. i feel like if u do that it will be on ur mind everyday that u dont have it/aren't working towards it. u should be happy with ur life in order to enjoy a relationship. idk what her businesse are and if there as easy to leave or re-startup if thats possible.
    sounds like u just got to do a lot of hard thinking, maybe jus let the chips fall a they may
  15. Yes, I have been checking everything.  The USFS is hiring about 30 temporary workers to work on the Chippewa National Forest so hopefully I'll land one of those jobs.
  16. That's what I was thinking, too.  I don't want to be sitting in the rocking chair on the porch someday feeling bitter because I never pursued what I studied in college.
  17. Sounds like a tough call and while I believe that relationships are about give and take, I also believe that one should not sacrifice something like a dream job/career for a somewhat new relationship. It sounds like you guys have it handled pretty well and I think if you don't go you run the risk of resenting her down the road which would putstrain on the relationship and then you'd have lost out on the job and the relationship. 
  18. yeah thats what i'm saying...see when it comes to a dream job, it's a pretty solid dream. it COULD change but even if it does change it usually is because you tried/failed on you intial dream job or you lost interest. simple stopping while your still interested creates a sense of uncertainty i guess. whereas when it comes to relationships, there are more people out there you could fall in love with to be truly happy (job + relationship). even if that sounds cold n harsh.

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