Alright, Grasscity, here's the scoop.. I've been dating this girl (let's call her Mia) for just shy of 2 years now (I myself am also a girl). She's amazing, I love her to bits and pieces, like I know her better then I know myself. Well, for the last 6 or 7 months we have been getting into the worst of fights and disagreeing on EVERYTHING. We've been drifting apart, but while being in denial of it. We haven't had sex in like 3 or 4 months. It just got to be boring and repetitive and she isn't into trying new things like toys or role-playing. Anyways, lately I've been really....I guess the term would be, craving a man. I've been with men in the past and now that's all I seem to be fantasizing about. It's gotten to the point where I have seriously considered cheating. I don't necessarily want to break up with her, but a girls got needs. I know I should lay everything out to her and have her make the decision and all that jazz, but the thought of losing her makes me feel sick. I want her to be in my life, but just as a friend that I can kiss and snuggle with sometimes. Something tells me she wouldn't be into that anyways... So about a week ago, she introduced me to this friend of hers, let's call him Sam. Sam is awesome. He smokes (Mia doesn't), he's VERY attractive, he's got manly hair on his face, he's TALL, and has loooooots of lean muscles. Not to mention he likes to go hiking, he likes roadtrips, he wants to see the world, and he is in school and trying to make something of himself. Mia, on the other hand, is perfectly happy with being a fast food worker for the foreseeable future, just likes to watch movies all day long, hates going outside, doesn't have a lick of desire to see even just the country, and won't come with me if I want to do any of those things. Also, at home, she literally just sits there. She'll tell me to get her things so she doesn't have to get up and will throw a bitch fit if i dont go get it for her. We live together, have 2 cats together....I just don't know if I should break up with her. I am risking a long-term relationship where I know the girl loves me for life experiences. I also dont want to risk the friendship because, like i said, I really do love her just not intimately. :l What do I dooooooo GC? D: Edit: I'm in my last teenage year (19) Mia (24) Sam (22)
19-24 sorry but ditch that bitch, see if she comes crawling back, if she does maybe reconsider but it does seem like she is using you. May I ask who pays the bills around there?
Sorry but you may want to explore other options over a lazy fast food worker who isn't going anywhere in life
Damn id love to be a fly on the wall. Sounds like shits about to go down.! I think it's time for you to move onto Sam and his cock...
Mia is taking advantage of you. Your girlfriend, who loves you shouldn't be trying to discourage you from trying to make something of yourself or get an education at 19 years old. Like someone else said, are you paying the bills or buying her shit? And things like expecting you to fetch her things all the time are big fuckin red flags. This is a sign to me that it isn't an equal relationship, that you're expected to wait on her, do what she asks, and help her out, but that she isn't expected to do the same for you. That's not how a good relationship functions. In a good relationship you help each other. Besides, you're young and at your age 5 years is a big damn difference. Don't cheat on her, because that is dishonest and wrong. But I don't think you should stay with her if things are like this. If 2 years in you fight constantly, you haven't had sex in 4-6 months and she wants you to act like her butler, it ain't gonna magically get great all on its own. Talk to her about how you're feeling, and what your needs are (including but not limited to sex. Talk about your need for respect, and to make something of yourself too.) You can give her a chance, but if things don't change, my advice is to leave her and move on. Don't dump her for whatshisname; if you break up with her, you should be doing it for you. And wait a bit to get over her and get used to not being with her before you start something new.
I think you're right :l should I try just taking a break from her first? I just don't want to make this decision without thinking completely through it.. Sent from my SCH-S720C using Grasscity Forum mobile app
we split the bills 50/50. Except for her medical bills. She pays those herself. so she does have a lot more then I do, and I know she is stressed a lot of the time... Sent from my SCH-S720C using Grasscity Forum mobile app
"On a break" and "taking a break from each other" are never a good idea. You end up with all the bad elements of the breakup, the loneliness and breakup woes, but without the good parts like having the freedom to move on with your life. And since the expectation is that you're getting back together, you won't get over her emotionally, which will just make you feel worse for a longer time. If you break up, actually break up. "On a break" isn't good for anyone. Think completely through this decision, then do something. I think you should leave her and get over her, but ultimately its your choice. Just no going halfsies. No 'taking a break for indefinable miserable time' no 'let's be friends with benefits instead' (friends with benefits are a wonderful type of relationship and a really fulfilling thing to have in you life but your FWB can't be your girlfriend of 2 years who you just broke up with, who you still have feelings for and who still has feelings for you. That is a cop out that will make it worse for both of you.) But either way, you're going to have to stand up for yourself. Because your needs and wants are just as important as hers.
Your post makes it sound obvious what you should do. You need to break up with her because your not even sexually attracted to her. Do you really want to waste your foreseeable future not having your sexual needs fulfilled? You only live once, and just because you break up, it doesn't mean your friendship has to end. Just end it by being honest with her. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
So, I talked to her. Told her that I wanted to gain life experiences and I felt she was holding me back. She said basically the same thing about me. We are apart, but it's more like we are on a break until our lease is up, then we are done. We are going to the bank tomorrow to get me off of her account (we had a dual account) and I will be setting up a little twin bed for me in our room. :l I'm sad that I couldn't make this work, nobody likes a failed relationship, but hopefully it's for the better. Thank you guys for your help (especially you Zera).
Dear concerned blade - Dump the lazy bitch. There are TOO many lovely people in the world that want to return the same love you give them. All you need is love and this woman isn't giving you what you need. Do yourself a favor and find someone(anyone) who better suits you. Sending you peace and love
There is such a thing as loving someone but not being able to be with them. Hurts like hell... Had a lot of experience with it here