The ex girlfriend got the blood test results back today. Looks like I'm going to have a kid. I think I'll be okay though. I have a somewhat solid plan I've been toiling with. I'm going to go into my guidance office (University) and see if I can take classes year round and fast track my ass through. I should have my teaching degree in 3 years, maybe sooner. From there I can get settled into a job as a teacher and continue my education on the side. The entire time I'll be working, sending money back to the mom and child, and go down every other weekend or so to see said child, until I can get a decent teaching gig and support a more active role in the kid's life. It may take some tweaking, but I think it's at least something to start from. I know it seems I'm skipping out on the first 2-3 years, but I think it'll be better in the long run so I can support a decent life for him/her.
on the contrary i think its really responsible the way youve set things up for your self man. Taking on full year courses is alot of commitment. Good luck with everything bro
Well FIRST and FOREMOST,be real sure that it's yours,don't be afraid to ask for a test. This is your EX gf your talking about.For all you know she went and hokked up with some random guy the day after you broke up.
Children who are wanted are gifts that's for sure, sounds like the child is wanted, at least by the mother, though it was a valid question. Remember to be maleable with your plans and discuss it with your ex. One thing I've discovered as a parent is that your best plans can be waylaid by one minor incident.
lets not turn this into an abortion argument. To the OP your plan sounds good. Get yourself a solid job and support your kid. But I don't understand the whole not getting back together but keeping the kid thing myself. I guess as long as both of you are going to be around then it might be alright.
It sounds like a good plan, I'm glad you're talking to a guidance advisor (btw how is advisor not in my spellcheck??) to set things up. It might sound crass of us to say this... but make clear now that you want a paternity test. 99% certain isn't enough when it comes to something like paternity. I know a guy who had been paying child support and changed his entire life plan for 2 years until his mother (the baby's supposed grandmother) secretly sent away a paternity test... and it turns out that Little Miss Faithful had been getting plowed on the side.
You don't wanna force a relationship just for the kid. That'll just end up making it harder on him/her when the two of you seperate later on, which will most likely happen. If you stay close, be a part of the child's life, and you and the mother are on good terms, that will be the best situation for the kid. The last thing you want to do is get back together, begin to hate each other a couple years in, and seperate/divorce when the kid is 5 or 6. That will hurt the kid psychologically more than it would have if you guys were seperate from the start. Then you guys will hate each other and for all you know the mom might be brainwashing your kid into sharing her hatrid for you.
I just want to do the best I can for the child\s future. As much as I'm shitting bricks right now, I know that I can provide a decent life for him/ her as long as I can get my education.. I mean, I want my child to grow up knowing that I at least tried to do everything I can to secure a decent life. I don't want to be a sometimes dad, but if it means being away to provide a decent future, then I'll make that sacrifice. I love my kid, even though it isn't here yet, I want to be that guy who tried his damnedest to get a good education to be a good dad.. I just want my kid to know that.
There's no way she could have cheated on me considering she was a week late when she left and I know she didn't cheat on me while we were living together. There was no possible way considering the circumstances.
Really? You know? FOR SURE? 100%? You were with her every minute of every day? Girls stray man. A lot of times girls stray right before breaking up with someone. Ask any doctor who has worked in the ER. There are virgin births every day! Miracles abound! Girls who come in and swear that they are virgins, yet somehow they're in labor! Watch Maury or Jerry sometime. Girls drag a guy on a show for a paternity test, swear up and down that they never ever cheated, not once not ever never, only for the paternity test to come back negative. Whoops! "IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME! IT DIDN'T COUNT! NOOOOOO!"