You are right. I must tell this touchy feely chairperson woman off. This situation at NA is only seeming to get worse. Yesterday at the meeting her hands were all over my body. My case worker probation officer is very condescending, aggressive and quite rude. She doesn't care what happens to me. She thinks that i deserve to go to jail. She says that i am stuck up, arrogant, upper middle class snob. I just need to get through this. As i said within my region this is the only all female NA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. I don't want to go to mixed gender meetings because of my husband. That is why i decided to try tolerating touching and rubbing by this chairperson woman. I have a hard time saying no to this woman chair person. I don't speak up. I wish I could, but I'm too much of a wuss.I am just sick and tired of being taken advantage of by her... frustrating... I wish I could lose my temper.I wish I had the strength and courage to not be a doormat. I accept total blame for it though. My fault for not saying no. I let this weird small old woman chairperson walk all over me. I hate this because I feel like I am an easy target. This chair person seems to feel the need to constantly touch me. When she wants to interact with me, normally instead of speaking to me she'll walk up, and just put her hands on me. I respect everyone who has found sobriety in the na program. i can understand why these women members don't like court ordered na. It can really screw up the environment in these meetings for people who actually use them for help. I need to get through this. I mean what's the worst that could happen? What am I supposed to do? I just go there straight from work. This woman chair person signs my attendance sheets. Also my probation officer calls her(chair person) to verify my attendance? I am too scared to be dishonest about the attendance though.
Yesterday after the NA meeting, we were leaving and this woman chair person commented that my breasts are so large, reached with her both hands and gave my breasts what I can only describe as a jiggle-squish. How it ended? I snapped and told her that was NOT ok, i yelled at her “I’m sorry, I have a thing with personal space.”I explained to her that it is making me uncomfortable that i understand she is friendly and tactile, and i see her as a friendly chairperson but i feel a little uncomfortable when she touches me. She started breathing heavily and her eyes began to water quite heavy, then the tears started to flow. She broke down. I mean sobbing everywhere. I was in shock really. I wasn't expecting it. So basically, she was just crying standing in front of me, i tried to talk to her ..but she was just crying really badly,, i didn't know what to do, i was just thinking ... let her cry ...it feels better to let it out? I now started to feel my tears welling up — I'm such a softy that way. I now started to cry and reached out to hug her. She held tight. So here we were, hugging and crying in the middle of parking lot as people watched. She told me that that she is touchy feely with friends only and that she is an extroverted, touchy-feely, huggy person. She said that because i am much taller than her, the hugs make her feel very secure and cared for. It was really awkward.I'm bad at comforting people. So I APOLOGIZED to her. Then had to spend the next 10 minutes saying I wasn't actually mad so she would stop crying in the middle of the parking lot. So she is always handsy and i ended up apologizing. What is wrong with me?. This woman chair person was crying and sobbing in the middle of the parking lot, I felt a little bit guilty. Within my region this is the only all female NA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. I don't want to go to mixed gender meetings because of my husband. This woman chair person signs my attendance sheets. Also my probation officer calls her(chair person) to verify my attendance? So was I in the wrong? If so, how should I have handled the situation?
This is clearly someone's sexual abuse fantasy, and a poorly written one at that. The author seems to prefer voluptuous, sophisticated women who are put in positions where they can be dominated. Why the author chose an obscure marijuana site to write about his fantasies is beyond me.
I went through the whole 12 steps. Honestly if they are that mean and judgemental then I'm pretty positive they aren't sober yet.
Well a lot of AA and NA programs still have a lot of active addicts. I remember I was much more hateful and judgemental when I was a drunk still because i wasn't happy with myself.
She pulled a DARVO on you. Defend - "You are so much taller then me, I just feel comforted by your hugs" Like, hello? What does that have to do with playing pattycake on your breasts? Avoid - She broke down into tears when being confronted with her behavior, completely avoiding any meanful conversation. As an adult she should be able to handle a tough conversation and, while it's totally natural to get tearfully upset, it's a bit beyond the pale to devolve into a blubbering mess. Reverse Victim and Offender - Instead of going off in private to handle her emotions and perhaps have the conversation, she broke down in the middle of the parking lot and just stood there. Now you are the bad guy. "Hey! She was just being playful! Why do you have to be so mean?" "It was just a joke, you don't have to be so cruel about it!" "Wow, making a grown woman cry in public, you must be a real peach." In reality, you are right to feel the way you feel about how she touches you. It's your body, you decide who gets to touch you even if that's just a hug. She is deliberately making you feel guilty about something she is doing to you and that's not right. In the future, I would address it immediately and publicly. If she goes in for a hug, put your hand up in front of you and stop her right then. "I don't actually like hugs." And then immediately grab her hand and give it a shake before seeing someone else and excusing yourself to go say hello to them. But that is me and I can't tell you what you should be doing as only you know what's best. I'm very sorry you are going through this