Alright so ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. I used to have my anger issues but i feel like ive calmed down in the last couple years. Im at a point where i just laugh from how stupid our arguements are. Shes childish as fuck about it everytime it happens. whatever i say she'll mumble under her breath and repeat. shes always making stupid faces at shit i say instead of talking. I can practically call what she says next or starts fights about and she says that she cant talk to me or she cant be angry about something. For example yesterday we got a cheap car from somebody and she went to work in it the next day. She came home saying she cant find the title now and that she left it on the bed. Mind you i tell her to stop leaving important things laying around like that. Shes broken glasses and lost money the same way. I get her to calm down about and we clean the room the next day. Shes getting mad about it and shes telling me about how its not a joke and how i dont understand how important it is l. idk what to do anymore im losing my mind.
I’d say just tell her exactly what your saying try to sit down and have a serious talk and if she’s not muture enough to have a big girl conversation then she obviously has a problem or just doesn’t care. If that’s the case baby talk about a break or just leave all together. Remember u could find a way better mature girl instead of wasting time and money into something she can’t take seriously
sounds like you're both kids and aren't going to get along... You said yourself you used to have anger problems, and laugh when shes mad. So from her perspective you can be mad when you want, but anything else is just a joke, her feelings don't matter then from you're perspective you feel like you're past the anger issues and shes just being silly and don;t see it... From an outsiders perspective, you're both acting like dickheads to each other, blaming each other while thinking yourself as innocent...you're both acting like children wanting to be "right"
Mumbling under her breath is a pretty bitchy thing to do but everyone has their moments. But, even though you think you've calmed down and gotten past the anger, she might not see it and is reacting accordingly. Consider this: Judge your relationships not by the good times, anyone can be good to each other during the good times, so instead judge your relationship on how you treat each other during the bad times. If you do want to make this relationship work I think you and she should establish an "important stuff" area - for my husband and I it's a messenger bag. We've moved so much that we didn't really have dressers that we kept so the bag works for us and is just known to be where important stuff is. Also, maybe get a small children's safe to keep your cash. This needs to be a joined effort if you want to be better together as a couple.
See i wont laugh at her i mean like when i remove myself from the situation and think to calm myself. Ive always been a civil human being and i dont like bickering. With her she works herself up so if she has something she wants to talk with me about she has to get angry to let it come out. I have tried to have better communication but she makes it almost impossible sometimes. I legit have to leave the room and breath. Im 21 and shes 28 so i dont understand.
I have my own issues but ive been told by her that i seem unapproachable and that she cant talk to me about stuff. Though i want to resolve things as easy as possible it just seems like we take turns taking shots at each other until one of us shuts the fuck up lol so unhealthy
Im at the point where i think shes starting to resent me but doesnt wanna talk about issues unless she snaps. Ive told her Id leave if it meant making shit easier for us but she just says its cause i wanna leave
I agree though. I try to get her to channel her emotions healthier but as long as ive known her shes a bottler
Thanks for all the quick advice everyone. idk what im gonna do shes held me down for awhile when i wasnt on my feet and if i left i wouldnt have amywhere to go and id lose most of my belongings because i left state and dont have friends or family.
I tell ya like this. Life’s hard enough when u ain’t with her ya got boss, cops, friends, n family fuckin with ya. why u wanna go home to that bullshit when that’s suppose to be where u feel comfortable and stress free.
Sounds like you need to fuck her rough, at least once. Grab that bitch by the throat & let her know every time she acts up, this is what happens; you get fucked, like a slut.
In my experience I've found that age differences matter much more the younger you are. She's 7 years older than you, OP. She should be the calm level headed one in your relationship. And it sounds like she unfairly wields a lot of power over you - and probably does resent you for it somewhat. Otherwise she wouldn't do things like repeat what you say under her breath. Knowing the age difference, and even taking into consideration your situation, I think you should cut your losses and run, OP. Sure, she might've helped you through hard times but I think that's to be expected of someone who's older than you - she should have her life more together and be more financially stable than you. She's 7 years your elder. The fact that you feel guilty about leaving her because of that is very likely something she considered when she helped you in the first place in one way or another. I like to think I'm a good person but even I have had thoughts like that. It's part of the reason I never want to owe anyone else anything and only give people what I can afford to lose anyway, I don't ever want to be in that situation of powerlessness/power over someone else. I speak to you as a person who was almost in your shoes. I dated a guy 5 years older than me when I was in my late teens. Luckily for me I didn't financially depend on him. I'm glad his lack of work ethic and lack of income snapped me out of the "love" fog pretty quickly, because when I was beginning the process of distancing myself from him because of it, I began to see how he treated the women in his life and didn't want to be treated the same way. If I'd stayed with him I'd probably have had 3 kids by now (nothing wrong with people who want kids, but I'm still deciding and I'm not certain I want even 1 about 7 years later), been working like a dog at low paying grocery and retail jobs, and our family living with his mom or grandma.
Sounds like you could both use a break from each other Communication should come easy to both of you, if youre both too annoyed or careless to deal with it, talk about things that bother you, or things that you notice irritate her, and see what you can both do to improve the foundation, if theres nothing to agree on, you will both know it's time to try something else