Is love a choice or a curse?

Discussion in 'General' started by WaterLillyFairy, Oct 6, 2004.

  1. I'm starting to work on a paper about love for my Psych class and I would really like to get everyone's input on the topic. I would like to know if you think love is a choice or a curse, and whatever you decide could you please explain why.. thank you for all who participate.

  2. Choice? No.

    Curse? Yeah. Blessing? Yeah. It all depends on how the two people handle it. It can be a blessing for one of them a curse for the other. It could be a curse for both. It could be a blessing for both. In my experience, a lot of times the relationship between two people is just a way for one or both to fulfill some subconscious desire or need.

    Either way Love makes generally smart people make stupid choices. Especially in desperate situations.
  3. Love means so many different things and there are so many different levels of love. I'm going to assume you're talking about the intimate level of love between two particular people, though.

    Whether or not you act on the love that you are experiencing is a choice but the existence of that love isn't so much a choice. Love can hit you like a freight train out of the blue. You don't know it's coming and it knocks you off of your feet before you can even blink. You can choose to not act on the feelings that stem from the crash, though. You can turn your back on them but you might possibly be missing out on an incredible experience when you do.

    I prefer to not be involved in that kind of love. I usually avoid it, if at all possible. However, sometimes you meet someone who's like your match. You miss them when they aren't around you; you need them; you crave them; you smile whenever you think about them; you melt when you hear their voice (and you know they're doing the exact same thing)..........when love has you like this, it's very hard to not act on it and it could be a huge misfortune if you don't...or it could feel like a curse, if you do. LOL! I don't think love is a curse...I just believe that some people think that they feel things that aren't really there, sometimes. They see more within a relationship than the other person does and, by doing so, it causes confusion, lack of trust and all of those things that people in relationships should avoid.

    When two people are on the same track, though, and they both look at life and love the same way, with no can be a truly wonderful thing. :)
  4. dopamine is the coolest fucking drug!!
  5. I know that love is not a choice, which is why it's so powerful. My fiancee was my best friend for 2 years before I started a romantic relationship with her, and during that time I made a lot of mistakes. I even thought I was in love once during those two years, but it didn't last, and now I know that it wasn't really love. Now, I've finally come around. My fiancee said she always knew, and I think I did too on some level, I was just too immature to admit it and we both ended up causing each other a lot of pain because of the frustration, but now we're both happier than ever, and I know that I'm happier in general than I've ever been. All wistful rambling aside, it's certainly not a curse, but I don't think choice really has anything to do with love when you really find it.
  6. No choice in love, I'm quite sure of that from the last two years of my life.

    I could never curse it though, what would this world be without love?
  7. lol, well it was love/lust for the first 25 yrs then it became a curse :smoke:

    lt will be 30 years in a few weeks. :eek:

    love for the first 25 yrs cause l had no choice cause all l did was work to provide everything.After that l asked what was l getting out of it ?? l,am still waiting for the answer.

  8. it's an attraction.. but it's also a choice in a way, thought your mind is attracted to that specific type of person, the other you.. how can you not love someone who's like you? well i don't know, i'm no expert..
  9. All depends on who your in love with. The person could be a blessing or a curse!
  10. I don't think its a choice. If i could i would choose to not to love my ex gf, but i can't choose to not love her, its just there and i can feel it. But i don't think its a curse, being in love is a great thing!

  11. aint that the truth [​IMG]
  12. It's a curse. I always seem to get involved... Damn women and their breasts :) .
  13. I don't think it's either. It's never a choice, but it's not a curse all the time either. I don't even think it's a curse most of the time.

  14. lol. Breast have caused friends to fight, couples to break up, even wars. I love them, but i dont know why. What is so interesting about a nice rack is beyond any rational thought. I mean, fat men have boobs, and they disgust me.
  15. asuming we are talking about the full on L. O. V. E....

    1) It is a biological imperative.
    2) It is a disease.
    3) It is a drug.

    without it there would be no (or little) compulsion to procreate. lust alone could do it, but us monkeys (humans) are social creatures, and thats how we have always survived, by looking out for each other. And so theres the whole "loving family environment" thing. Any single parents out there may (or may not) agree with this next part, but it is something that helps provide a full, complete nurturing environment for the young. difference is, these days we've lost the whole "pack animal" social aspect and we lock ourselves in our homes seperated from the rest. and sure, why not. we killed all our predators. we have technology to look after us these days. fuck our neighbours.
    (end of sarcastic statement) :D

    It just really fucks with your head and cognitive ability. at least thats how it is for me. I don't handle it very well, and never want to fall in love again, no matter how intoxicating and intensely enjoyable it is.

    intoxicating and intensely enjoyable. Better than the very best experiences i've ever had on any drug i physically had to consume to achieve the effects. worst comedown ever too. :( at least the worst comedown of an E only noticeably lasts for a week.

    a choice?
    ha. you can try.
    but as Yoda said, "Do, or do not. There is no try."
    and i really dont think there's much choice about it.
    all you can do is choose to try to fall in love or not. much the same as you could choose to try to hold back the force of the hurricane, tornado, tidal wave and volcanic erription with your finger.

    a curse?
    quite possably. i certainly know a few people who have attempted to put hexs and curses upon people, i even feel like i had been "cursed" into infactuation with one girl a while ago.
    but i couldnt say for sure.

    one thing is for certain...
    our language is inept at describing such things. i mean, we only have one word for this something that is as diverse as "cannabis cigarettes", and look how many terms we have for that!

    anyways, that was fun sharing all that with yas.
    thnx for this thread WaterLillyFairy.

    ps, i still got loadsa love for the World, for the universe, cosmos, and all its inhabitants.

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