Hi all, I could really use some advice on a relationship issue. A girl that I had a brief relationship with several years ago is going to be back in town. We've kept in touch through the years but haven't been close. I am crazy about this girl and I think we both have changed a bit since we were last together and I am dying to tell her how I feel. However, she has a boyfriend that I believe she's been seeing for some time now. I really care about her and wouldn't want to make her feel weirded out or confused if she is happy now. At the same time, there is nothing I would want more than to be the one who comforts her day in and day out. I am worried this is the last chance I will get to see her in some time, so I really want to say something. But it has been a while, and I don't want her to think I am selfish and just infatuated with her. Plus, she is in a relationship already as I've mentioned. What should I do GC?
Nothing wrong with taking her out to lunch but you always have to remember that she is taken. There really isnt anything you can do about that unless you want to cause yourself, and her, problems. also, since it has been some time since you have seen her, perhaps you will find that she isnt as appealing as she once was. In either case there is nothing wrong with catching up .
I agree. You're in the friend zone. Let that ship sail. The best thing you can do is be a great friend and if her current relationship ends THEN let her know how you feel. Telling her now would be a disaster.
How old are you? What do you mean, that you've kept in touch? Do you talk to her ever day? week? month? Year? Do you know her boyfriend? Does he seem like a nice person?
Forget about "comforting her day in and day out". You'll get sick of that eventually or else it will interfere with her relationship. If she's not available, forget about her and move on. There's plenty of others out there.
Maybe she feels the same you'll never know if you don't ask and years down the line you could still be wondering "what if?" Doesn't sound like you have a whole lot to loose anyway so you might as well tell her how you feel
What goes around comes around bro, so you can definitely try to kindle something with her but if she is susceptible to your charms in theory wouldn't she be open to someone elses? This is going to sound especially unhelpful and cliche but what about going after someone that's unattached and attainable? You have to understand, that unless she's utterly cold she's going to have emotional entanglements with her current boyfriend which complicate matters. You can let a rose color glass haze obscure you from reality or you can try to see with better eyes than that. My advice: Find a woman that has room in her life for you, its a much easier fit that way which removes all moral ambiguity.
Thanks man good advice. I guess the amicable thing to do is try to be a good friend. I will hold out hope for another it's just a shame because I know I would have treated her well. Life goes on.
Life does go on and not only that its provided you with amazing opportunities to meet someone who's ready for you bro. Your friend chose someone else, probably doesn't feel good but what's even worse is taking on someone's life if its entangled with another's. Simpler is better. I have friends who were willing to cause any amount of havoc just to sleep with a woman and it never ended good, doesn't mean it can't just that there are problems built into a relationship based on deceit. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.