Is it fair for my girl to trip about this?

 
Oh well you can't smoke a volcano vaporizer unless you turn that bitch way the hell up, in which case just buy a bong with water percolation. 

 

Pussy on lock is nothing compared to being able to do whatever I want. No way in hell I'd ever let someone tell me that I can't smoke mah herb.

 

she's really overreacting man.. you're doing better than over half the population, why is that a bad thing

 

I love my gf to death but if she tried to stop me from smoking we would be over. Its not that I am choosing weed over her but more so if she can't accept me for what she started dating then we shouldn't be together. And you are only smoking a gram a day lol that's nothing. Have you tried talking to her to find out why she doesn't like why you smoke


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If OP is going into the nursing field, then they would be better off using unmentionables....Sad but true.

All the people I know in the nursing field get immediately fired for testing positive for pot. Yet you can defer certain unmentionables at the hospital, from patients, get caught (test positive) and still have your job after some drug rehabilitation...

How fucked is that!?


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In my experience it's better to compromise. My gf and I have a "don't ask, don't tell" kinda policy, but it took years for this to work for us. The only drug I do in front of her is pot, and only when we're at a party and she's at least tipsy. It also just takes time for people to get used to you using drugs yet still functioning. When I started college I said I'd quit when we graduated. Now I really doubt that'll be necessary unless I need to get tested for a job.

 

That's such a typical stoner thing to say I feel, if it's true love you'd be willing to change things. I altered my habits for my gf, sure I didn't quit entirely but I understand why she doesn't want me to be a pot head.

 

I'd say if OP is doing better in school, socially, and professionally she could be jealous?

If you live your life totally sober, and your significant other is more accomplished while "impaired" than you are sober, that would be a crappy feeling.

Personally I'm with Dr Fumbles. Being 20 and smoking a gram a day isn't going overboard by any means. If she can't accept you for you, it ain't meant to be.


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If you cant change for yourself your girlfriend wont be able to change you either and she shouldn't be trying too.  If the person you love cant except you for who you are then you need to find someone else who will.  You have to live your life your way.  You cant live it someone else's way when its not theirs to live. 

 

Ask her whats actually bothering her in regards to you smoking. From what you posted she's complaining simply because it's pot.

 

Then that isn't a conversation. That is her polite way of telling you to obey!

 

No offense, but you just sound like a douche.

 

It sounds like your in control. Do whatever you want.


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omfg so true. Man I cant pull myself together on your thread bro. I'm laughing so hard. But no joke kid. Really think about it. This is your perfect example of control freak. Been their too. 19??? You should be snagging all the pussy you can. In 26 with a great woman. 7 years this summer and boy I'm glad she does not fit your description. Otherwise it's a thing of the past. If youre 19 and she is doing that shit, run. Seriously you may love her and if you did you would stop blazing altogether and not be on here asking blades for advice.

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Mine bitches about it all the time. Just to her to shut up and ignore her. That's the healthiest thing to do imho.

 

Ok. Hands down the best thread I've ever read. I'm dying laughing. Not at you chriswendt but the simple fact that every dude on here has been their. This is only an example of what her real motives are. Come on man I'm subbed I really wanna know what you do about this.

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I haven't read much but the OP but I'd still like to give my two cents and a shit load of text All my reasoning here assumes you love the girl at some level and that you want to try to make your relationship work. If you don't, and if this is more of a physical relationship, give her a week to change and if she cant throw her out the fucking door and find someone new. Guys generally have way to little self confidence most of the times, there is a lot of girls out there and people still stay in bad places because they are afraid to try their wings. If you decided to throw her out the door, this is where you stop reading
 
Now to the lets make it work part.
 
First, I'd say that smoking two joints a day is much compared to taking two glasses of strong beer. If you want to compare it to a "normal" behavior, compare it like that. Ask yourself if it OK to have two glasses of beer a day and why? Ask yourself how the smoking changes you and if you think its good, acceptable or bad. For me, only bad thing smoking does to me is make me a little lazy. It makes me a better person in a million other ways cause I have a bit of a temper and some other daemons.
 
You obviously want to smoke, ask yourself why. When you've figured it out, and if the conclusion seems somewhat reasonable, let her know. If it doesn't maybe you should check yourself to figure out if this is something you should be doing.
 
I'd say that you live a pretty stressful life with a lot of pressure. Not sure if that's the case, but you seem to be an ambitious dude, and sometimes, you want to be able to shut down. I started smoking cause I could never put my mind into off mode, was always constantly thinking about an idea or a project. This can get VERY tedious at times. Smoking has also made me more productive at work because I am able to shut down when I get home and am therefore a lot fresher the next day.
 
Ask her why she has a problem with it. If she can't define the problem in more words than "it is drugs", "smoke too much", "bad for you", "makes you different" or something similar, chances are that she either cant verbalize her opinions or that she is trying to control you. You seem to be a smart kid so I think you get where I'm going, point being, if you can ask a "why" or "how" after she has said something, then she hasn't really said anything at all. Real things would be things that says something without the why or how.
 
If she cant verbalize her opinions you should give her some time to figure out whats really bothering her, you can and should be there to help her figure it out too. If the problem is legal issue there are ways around that, you can for example be more careful so that you cater to her needs at least on some level. Just the fact that she feels involved might help you out a bit.
 
If you find out whats bothering her, you guys can try to make a compromise. Like I said earlier, I get lazy at times and that's an issue with my GF. So what I try to do to give a little back by for example being easy going and doing a bit of the stuff she likes. I'm high and happy so it doesn't really matter if we are out browsing, shopping or talking a walk...right? The laziness generally disappears as soon as you do something.
 
There are good things about being high too. Using my case as an example, I can't for the life of me go out and enjoy a beautiful day if I haven't smoked. This makes me quite angry and frustrated, I love a beautiful day and I know it, I just can't enjoy it. As soon as I get out and go for a pick nick I want to keep constantly working or designing, I cant focus on anything else. I get so stressed if I don't constantly produce something. After a few tokes...hey there's the sun, there's the grass and there's my favorite person in the world, lets enjoy the moment.
 
And as a last note, there are girls out there that can accept it, even if they don't smoke. I've been in two relationships spanning 6 years with people that do not smoke. One of them thought it was OK but not all that great, she never naged though. My current (and hopefully last) probably prefers me when I smoke as I'm a bit more easy going and not so serious. In between those relationships I was having a bit more of a lets sample life attitude and I had a few stoner girls.
 
To me that wasn't a great thing even though a lot of people here have recommended it . I'm not pissing on your smoking girls here, I'm sure there is a lot of people that have great relationships where both people smoke, but to me things have always been easier with people that don't. This is most likely due to my pick of girls, which might have been damaged in a lot of other ways than smoking.
 
Fuck, I don't even know why I wrote this much, but for what ever reason, I felt I had something to say. GL brother and I hope you find your way in life.

 

You can make a relationship very simple or very hard. If you're girlfriend doesn't use, this will be an ongoing issue and nothing can change that, it will even get worse during stressful times. You need to come to an agreement on your habit and hopefully she won't pick on you. But remember, that doesn't guarantee anything especially when there's an argument.
In other words, relationship is not favorable in a user/non user couple.