So what's up blades? I'm gunna try and keep this short... So my best friend is in a unhealthy relationship, her girlfriend mentally and physically abuses her...they'll be off and on for a year, and its not getting any better... she's been trying to cut her off, but her gf won't leave her alone... Like last night she gave her a bruise and we went to the beach without her girl, then we went back to my friends house and her girlfriend came there, stormed in the house and grabbed my friend.. She texted me saying not to talk to her 'n' again (n's my best friend) and I'm like...shut the fuck up, she's never liked me n shit. But whatever, she cuts her off of a socail life and treats her like a child. I've talked to her to her mother, her mother doesn't like her gf either but doesn't know what to do cuz she's an adult.. Fuck guys, I'm really worried for her, I have a bad feeling she's going to do something drastic or her girl will hurt her really bad.
This reminds me of the situation one of my best friends was in. She also had a girlfriend, so this is what I told her. Your options in life are set by you. Meaning the people you see, the qualities you respect, and the emotions you pour out. Desicions and advice, oftentimes, are handed out like candy on Halloween. Much like i'm doing right now. It's a shame that some people let neurotic obession of false love control them. But that's human nature. Or let me rephrase that: that's anti-human nature. That's weakness. Strength comes from the small places within us, so your friend is going to have to take a look at this relationship "about face", which is a term for not pulling your punches when criticising the hindsight events of your lifetime. Your friend is obviously hanging on to a false reality, like much of this planet. To learn the value of true love, she's going to have to somehow find a way for her or somebody like you to show her the clearer path. You are her friend, and you need to convince her to drop out of this poisonous cycle. That's my two cents, but never read into anything and accept it as reality. Take what you want from it.
^ word. like you said OP, she's an adult an she'll make her own decisions in life. All you can do is be a friend to her and try to show her that she deserves better.
Well thanks guys... She's being completely brainwashed right now, she told me that we aren't best friends and her gf texted me saying I was a delusional hunk of shit and she doesn't want to have anything to with me for weeks. Which is bullshit, she told me last night 'youre my best friend, I love you' I'm just...wow.
As a lesbian myself, I will let you know my personal experiences with people in these types of relationships. You can't make her see what's really going on. Trust me, I've had friends who got beat, cheated on, and the only reason they got out of that relationship is because THEY finally figured what it was about. Love blinds a lot of people, especially those who fell for someone and then that person started with the physical/mental/verbal abuse. They hope the person will change, and be like they used to, but they won't. They just lie and decieve to get what they want. They are manipulators. Hell, that applies to gay or straight or whatever the fuck. I'll tell you what I told someone else on here: If you can, get one of their fights on video. Almost everyone has a camera phone, use that bitch. Then show it to your besty. Maybe seeing it from your view will change her mind, but this is merely a suggestion as I have not tried it myself. Good luck to you and your friend, I hope it all works out for the best.
I hope your friend will listen to you. I was in your position too (except the girl is a usually gay girl that was dating a usually gay boy - very very odd situation), he hit her, he verbally abused her, and at least once when she got wasted he coerced her into fucking his best friend while he watched (like I said, very weird). I haven't seen the girl in a year, and she was my best friend, but she wouldn't listen. He was driving her crazy and she in turn was coming to me and driving me crazy. I was worried sick about her for so long, and then I realized that it was bullshit. It wasnt just one or two times, he would do awful shit on the regular and she would call me hysterically crying, often on drugs, and tell me some horrible story. She started drinking way too much and went full blown with an eating disorder..and then i realized that it wasn't fair for HER to put ME through that. She knew what was gonna happen when she would go crawling back to him. She couldn't see how selfish she was being by constantly forcing me into these ridiculous situations And rescue missions because she wouldn't stop seeing this loser. It's the same with your friend..she's gotta decide what she wants. Do your best to try and make her realize what is going on, but when it starts to make you sick..this is what I told my friend: "I love you so much _____, and watching someone abuse you is making me sick inside. I cannot continue to be your best friend if you want to continue to allow him to destroy you. If you want help getting away from him, I will help you in any way I possibly can, but youve got to make a choice." No matter what she chooses, you need to watch out for yourself. I think the best thing to do is to tell her you love her and you will be there for her if and when she decides to leave her abusive relationship..but it's almost like having a friend that's a junkie. You don't have to be their shoulder to cry on while they bitch and moan about their problems stemming from drug use..you just gotta be there And support when they are ready to make a positive change.