I NEED SOME KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE Ok so these past couple of days have been quite hectic for me. Let me start from the beginning; I've been with my ex for 2 years now and she cheated on me twice. She's kinda clingy and a bit cray but we see each other from time to time like once or twice a week. Then there's this other girl at my work, who recently broke up with her boyfriend. I'm starting to really like her and yeah, it was starting to get to the point whereas I'd hug my ex or whatnot and I'd think about the other one, stuff like that. I like the other girl a lot, I think she's smart, and I have that feeling that she put's a mask in front of everyone; pretending to be strong but deep inside she's unhappy a lot like me. IMO we have a lot in common we sometimes go pick each other up after work to have a chat and stuff. I think she's really an exceptional person. I mean she's a very open person, I even got her to listen to the Grateful Dead!!! Something my ex couldn't do... tsk tsk tsk. So 2 days ago, I'm in downtown drunk as fuck with my homie; and he pulls out some unmentionnables which we swallow. I was texting her that day and she was at a bar on the east side of town which was a good 30 mins from downtown. She told me she was bored and she was gonna go home. Me being all loving and happy after the "thang thang" kicks in texts her asking if she wants to see me and she said yes and I had to convince my 2 other friends to come with me there cause we're from West Side so going there was going to be like going to the other side of the world hahaha. Anyways, back to the story, I go meet her up and I start talking to her and I was high AS FUCK. Hence, I did something I would consider rather stupid. I told her straight up why I wanted to see her, cause she attracted me a lot and I think I'm starting to like her a lot. Sadly she hugs me and says: "I don't know what to say, maybe you should go with your friends." But gosh when she hugged me our cheeks touched and goddamn she had the softest skin ever and her hair smelled so good it was kind of a magical moment. But yeah, I got disappointed :/ damn ya'll... I went back to the West Side but before I left I asked her; are we still seeing each other tomorrow night? Cause that's what we arranged earlier in the morning; we were supposed to see each other after she got off work. She told me yeah and she hugged me and we parted ways; I still remember her scent. It was kinda weird cause yesterday I finish work cause I'm morning shift and she was night shift so we had a glimpse of each other it was kinda awkward. What was even weirder was that my ex decided she wanted to see me that day and we hung out a bit, but like whenever I'd look at her I'd feel as if the other girl was there... strange. Anyways she started to annoy me cause she wanted to stay the night over at my place and I told her no, cause I wanted to pickup the other girl. Later on the night, I go to see her and surprisingly it quickly stopped being awkward between us. I loved to talk to her, it felt good. However she told me at one point; I'm gonna get over my ex, but I don't feel like being with anyone anytime soon. Which kinda makes me even more confused... She said she'd always be there... as a friend. Goddamn tho, I wanna be with her not just be her friend. So, to tell a long story short, I need your wisdom guys. Is this worth pursuing at all? Am I losing my time? That's how I'm feeling now. I hate myself for getting so attached to her, and for putting all my eggs in one basket. Goddamn do I hate myself for this shit .
Get rid of the ex now.. There's a reason you broke up! For the other chick you kinda fucked yourself over most likely she thinks your shallow and just want to fuck her
Yup, give girl 1 the boot and as for girl 2... I think that one may have sailed. You only have a small window, and if she just wants to be friends then she might not feel the same at all. I'm not sure if it was how you came off, or what, but it seems like you have a new friend anyway. Go reel in a new fish bro...or do whatever the F*** You Wanna do!
I kinda realize that it's the drugs that fucked me over with her but I kinda wanna ask you to go in detail with your thing. I don't really wanna fuck tho, that's not even my top priority. I just wanna be with her but last night like she'd do shit like rest her head of my shoulder and all and I'd feel like she was my girlfriend so bad that it kinda made me uncomfortable. I have this problem when I get attached to people, it lasts for a while so yeah prob not getting over her anytime soon. For my ex tho, I'm about 99% sure she'll turn suicidal if I just tell to gtfo of my life.
i would go for the other girl, but unmentionables do change everything.. as for the whole suicide thing, i have no remorse in telling someone who wants to end their life because of something stupid, to just do it. pathetic. leave her.
Myeah, I'm a bit of a caring person tho so I'm a bit unsure about telling her to just end her life. A first it was just a crush tho, then with time I started liking her more and more... the more I learned about her the more I liked her. I kinda blamed the unmentionable for that sloppy confession . Oh well, I guess nothing better to do than get my shit together for the next lady in my life.
the less you think about the past, the more you can think about the future. i think the hardest part of the past is wanting to go back to it and employing that passively without even realizing it.
You know how you said you'd go after the other girl? She told me she didn't want to be in a relationship anytime soon though, so I'm probably wasting my time there. It's really disappointing though, gonna smoke a bowl to ease things a bit.
based on her reaction i believe this girl doesn't feel the same way towards you, and you might even be in the friendzone based on YOUR intense interest in her opposite to the way she may feel. bottom line is that you manned up, even if you felt it was careless, and told her how you felt. that's the way to do it man. and she gently let you off. basically saying, "hang out with your friends, i don't want to have this discussion because it would hurt you for me to go on and let you know i don't (or couldnt) feel the same way. we should just be friends" i would not pursue her anymore source: ive been friendzoned and know a lot about it
Move on bro, she probably doesn't like you. Just don't beat yourself up about the sloppy confession, that's not the reason she rejected you. If she was interested she wouldnt shut you down like that. Personally, I think it's pretty lucky that you found this out. This way you won't waste anymore time on her. As for the ex, slowly back off so she won't kill herself
Yea that probably weirded her out. And you should drop your current gf. Dont be with her just because you feel guilty. Besides you only see her once or twice a week? And she has cheated twice (that you know of)? She is probably fucking and sucking dudes the rest of the week. And shit you call her your "ex" so is she even your gf or what?
Somehow I think your answer is the best among all the ones people been telling me. No offence to anyone else, kinda woke up this morning and realized that I really had to get my shit together, move on from both girls and just do me. True that, thanks for the help. Eh, I'm not quite sure about that though. Well she's my ex starting from today anyways, it's kinda weird to describe my relationship with her we've been through a lot but finally had to let her go. I don't think the other girl got weirded out though, she just wasn't interested I suppose.