Im going nuts

AH, sorry buds but I gotta vent it out, Im going crazy!

I have really bad ADHD, i used to take meds for it butI lost 30lbs and could never sleep at all so I stopped taking it. Weed helped me sleep but I was grinding my teeth and just getting really bad side effects, from taking what is basically perscription speed. Anyway, After I stoped taking it, I realized that smoking in the morning before work would really help me a lot. I could focus much better, sit still and get something done. Previously Id just smoke at night to sleep and ease some back tension from a sporting accident. Anyway....

recently I was driving home from a very light night out ont he town. Had a couple beers, but was all good. Had a 40min train ride home before i got to my car...so Im driving home, and swerved around a few potholes (those from NJ know what I mean)...I have really expensive wheels im not willing to risk...anyway I get pulled over and field tested etc, even tho i was like, WTF? im so sober this is rediculous! well i guess not, the piggy cuffed me!! so they search my car and find my pipe, and i gave up the 1 hitter in my pocket, NO weed at all on me or my car, thankfully...so we go to the station, I blow UNDER the limit! (as I knew I would) but the fuckers said I was DUI narc. bc I smoked 2 hours before! anyway got a lawyer etc and all will be fine but Ill have a 6 month probation, possibly DT's, I will find out on Monday.

So since Friday afternoon Ive been sober...up until then I had been smoking 2-4 times a day, mostly at night, but once in the AM, for a year straight....

needless to say, Im back to not sleeping (also was perscribed Lunesta, which makes my legs jitter eeping me up even more!) and my ADHD is out of control....im twitchin out and grinding my teeth and can not slow down my thought processes, my mind just GOES AND GOES AND GOES AND GOES to no end! was up till 4am last night rolling around! UG this is so horrible! I then read in the MMJ forum today that NJ is having a meeting on June 4th about MMJ. our govenor is PRO-MMJ but its obviously not soon enough.

Now I can not stop thiniking how pissed I am that Im going thru all this shit, spending THOUSANDS of dollars to keep my record clean while at the same time our govenor said he will 100% sign the bill and its halfway there! I am a very responsible person and made a mistake and I seldom seldom ever have anythign in my car bc thats a horrible idea, but it was a fluke thing.

Im just so angry at te cop and at the legal system....you know...the cop was asking me all this stuff about how much i smoke and why etc and in my head im thinking (well if you have a headache, dont you take advil piggy?) but didnt say anything bc the pigs also LIE on the police reports while i was 100% honest with the DB. It just sucks that SO many people have such a distorted and negative view of MJ. Im sure MMJ laws will help people realize that there are actually benefits and its not just something for lazy people with no jobs.

Sorry dudes, but just had to complain somewhere. For the pasy year I have been researching new places to live. NJ is not for me anymore and Im heading to Oregon as soon as this is all over and I can re-gain my savings and emergency funds that I had to use a great deal of to pay lawyers and pay the f-ing state ALL bc i had a friggen pipe with NO weed in my car.

Hey, I broke the law, yes I did, but jesus...

anyway Im cleaning out right now in HOPES that when I meet the probation officer, I will pass the first test and not get put into a drug program or random tests, so I can smoke for the next 6 months. after 6 mo the charge will wipe clean. "conditional discharge" its called.

Anyway, I know this is related to MMJ but feel like you guys understand what im goin thru.

thanks..happy toking guys, and remember to be super careful. som pigs are "ok" but most of them dont care or think about what people go thru when they get stuck in the crooked legal system of money making BS. No matter how long youve been smoking, dont get careless just bc YOU dont think your doing anything bad, doesnt meant he law agrees.