I'm 24 and i've never had a gf?

It doesn't always feel like mental illness though. I think there's a crossroads between young man and man when you gain a certain wisdom and understanding of things and you can make your own choices about who you want to be. Sometimes it feels more like i am just becoming very "awake", but getting too deep into the pit of yourself also destroys your ability to form relationships or friendships with people, as i've discovered. So i'm tryna get out of it. Like bruce wayne crawling out of the pit after bane broke his back. Because life really did break me, i've been suicidal on more than one occasion.

I agree with buddhism probably simply i believe that what is coming at you is coming from you, if i want good vibes from the opposite gender, or ppl in general, i have to put good vibes out. And I had some bad karma accumulated between me and the opposite gender honestly. The idea is that you meet every person as an individual and expect nothing out of it. Attachment and expectation is what makes you unhappy.

So i'm trying to just cut the bullshit out of my ways of dealing with the world and everyone and just BE and LIVE. weed has helped me smooth that transition over. Just might have indulged a bit too much when my brain was still in the oven lol. But i don't think the mexican mafia is after me or that there are tape recorders in my houseplants like my crazy aunt, so whatever shit i have now is probably relatively mild

 

Yeah dude its probably your looks and maybe just not having much self-confidence as well as women are picky as fuck and have unrealistic standards nowadays.

Maybe they'll settle if you make good money and she's had her run with all the other guys.

She may even have a kid or 2 and is looking for a sugar daddy to take care of em. So if your into that you'll be fine.

 

what, in your opinion, about my looks is fucked

that im not exactly brad pitt / robert pattinson / tom cruise? well you know i mean i cant change much now, all im doing is getting older, plus those model guys are kinda more into themselves yknow what i mean? is that rly the kinda guy i wanna be? i'm a workin man but apparently thats not enough

oh wait thats the inner bitch talking. imma go find some babes

 

Dude I was obviously joking there. Ease up. I apologize that did come off as really rude. I'm uglier than you man don't worry.

You look fine.

On my part yes I admit I'm a bit crass and have a rather dry and, blunt, and dark style of humor. This can come off as extremely rude. I do apologize.

 

no dude it's all good, you know even if it is looks, i guess psychologically speaking, how you stack up on a scale of 1-10 of attractiveness isnt really what makes you a man. enter the fact that attractiveness is subjective (though there are trends for sure). more and more i'm realizing being a man is standing on your two feet and handling yourself skillfully and stoically.

i worry more about my behavior and overall groundedness/masculine energy at this point. guys just get handsomer with time anyway. what WON'T be good is if i get even older and still act all shitty and shit. i realized i needed to change my behavior and how i present myself, obviously help your looks if you can but that alone isn't enough.

it just helps a lot is all lol. believe me, i wish my looks alone could get me laid. you can look good but it doesn't mean you know how to act like a man, and i mean my understanding is that guys who act like men (that is, confident, charming, and respectful, yet bold / direct and know what you want) in flirtation is what makes girls wet. amiwrong?

i'm 5'7" on a good day and i'm a rail (at least, a rail to "grown men"). i need all the balls i can get and i'm of the belief having balls is a learned / earned trait

at some point, after all this shit i went thru, i just stopped being stupid and taking selfies and looking in the mirror all the time and decided to live like i had already died, live thru my eyes and talk directly TO people, strong eye contact and all, rather than thru the filter of my mind that is thinking about what i look like. and i started to feel a stronger energy coming out of my eyes, even if nothing else had changed much. and then what do you know i'm finding more girls making eye contact with me, sure they might break it, but what it means is that that higher level energy is starting to come right outta me. i meditate and i am starting to follow certain feelings and internal cues. it helps.

 

I can talk to women fine but, god damn I can't flirt. I'm too blunt and, harsh and weird. I don't really make much eye contact with really anyone. I'm 5'6 and balding with patchy facial hair and a big nose.

I have also unresolved issues in my head as well

Some women laugh a little sometimes but that's it.

 

at this point they're just waiting to see if i actually have cajones honestly. no self respecting woman, or young woman, will waste her time on a kid who acts like a little boy. i got mindfucked into acting like a little boy just by societal conditioning that told me i was not permitted to talk sexually to girls because i look like shit . but what am i gonna do, jerk off in my room until i die? i'm already losing hair and getting stretch marks on my formerly beautiful body so i think ultimately self hatred will make me realize that i am losing nothing but time and the time to mack is now

it's easy to act like james bond when you look like james bond , and i might get shut down more because i'm ugly and i look 12 but you know what FUCK IT i'm gonna grow a fuck-off epic chinstrap or something and that will settle that shit once and for all mfkr. plus, me who is the fucking spitting image of a virgin actually has more balls for still trying than the guy who looks all alpha and shit and might have it come more naturally or easier as a result of that

edit: i love how it started nice but went ghetto

i just want to fuck all night. and the day after that. and the day after that. basically make up for years of missed fuckage

 

Oh getting laid isn't the hard part my friend its actually finding a stable person to spend time with long term. I consider that impossible but, you have the right mind set your definitely gonna get laid for sure.

You know what you want and have a good sense of confidence and usaully that's good enough.

 

it has to be real confidence though imo. and i've learned that's built on having experience in relating to girls emotionally, or having emotion or genuine interest in her as a person present in the conversation. it's extremely easy for me to get girls to talk to me, because i am easy to talk to, but for way too long i've been stuck in the stupid thing of just making platonic small talk like a teenager or like a monk. "nice guy" syndrome. they probably either think i am young and naive or asexual/gay. the truth is i've just been afraid for too long to actually even TRY to let my dick do a little bit of the talking, so to speak. not like in a douchey way but just in a way that is accepting of your own sexuality, or even acknowledging it. i've had sex, so in theory it shouldn't be a big deal. getting over the conditioning shit in your mind that cockblocks you is harder.

i'm on an overall holistic journey of self improvement i guess, and that will increase the quality of girls i can get too.

oh and i refuse to do dating apps anymore because they prevent you from having to do the hard but right thing, which is change how you actually interact with people. it's way harder to do this with a girl you have just met than to just get on your phone and swipe away. but more rewarding imo, because it means you will get better at flirting with girls in general

where does weed enter into this? basically it helps clean-slate my mind, helps remove some of the agitation/neurosis that might make the interaction weird. i've trained myself to always smile and be pleasant, but i'm honing in on making sure my behavior is very relaxed if i am dealing with a girl one on one. relaxed as in, i'm here, hey, whats up, i'm not going anywhere, but feel free to join me in being in the moment. they like that i think. it shows you actually have something going for you and you're not easily swayed by stupid bullshit

honestly? on my bday, in may, i'm gonna get as shitfaced as i can, forget the past 10 years of my life, and consider it the beginning of my actual life as a sexual being. at 25 YEARS OLD. because it was awwww poor david he never did well with the ladies. but i had to kill that david

 

Ok, so say i'm talking to some girl i just met and the idea is that i want to chill and or have sex with her

What would your idea of a "confident" dialogue be, from me, in that circumstance? Being straight up and open? Small talk first? idk even if there is a point in small talk anymore. obviously some kind of basic stuff first

 

what i really lack experience in is making the actual innuendos or whatever it is that seals the deal. AKA "turning her on". they say women arent as visual as men but my looks are already an obstacle in being sexually enticing so i gotta pay attention to the shit i say

 

Luck and location still comes in play though. You can have confidence all day but, if your in a city with mostly single men or like in me in a city with mostly married people than it makes it much harder to find women locally.

Also you will still have go through a good 10,000 rejections and some of which will destroy your self-esteem in the moment.

I gave up entirely after "having confidence". I save more money by not trying to seek romantic relationships. Plus I'm free to attempt and practice flirting with a whole bunch of different women. And banging is still in the picture if I'm able to pull it off.

And I'm also bi-curious but, haven't had a man yet however I grew up in Texas and feel ashamed of who I am to the core and don't wanna put myself on the gay market because I fear even gays won't like me.

 

the way to not have rejection hurt so much is to make sure who you actually are is stronger than your ego. in my experience. and to me thats part of being a man too. if i'm living like a man in every other area of my life, there shouldnt be any pain other than realizing that my cosmetic and superficial self isn't exactly what she would get off to in fantasy. i only have to worry if my cosmetic and superficial self is something NO girl would get off to in fantasy. but i'm not in their heads so what the fuck do i know

availability isn't a problem for me, i live in a college town and these days more girls are sticking out school so the ladies outnumber the dudes

 

lol u guys are funny

anywaze, i've decided imma always be a kid. i passed the trials, i slipped thru the cracks and have evaded the soul-death of adulthood. growing up is a scam. fuck jobs, fuck money, and fuck anything that is about anything else besides feeling good or makin other Nice People(tm) feel good. i might be getting older but they can't stop my inner spirit. and hopefully that same spirit is what will make me loveable to sum1 special sumday.

id rather be poor, but happy

Forever Doin Kid Stuf