I'll try and sum this up as short as possible: Tried working things out with my ex because she wanted to get back together, after talking daily she basically stopped messaging me for like 10 days or so, when I do talk to her she pissed about her ex going out with a girl she thought was cute and takes it out on me, I'm like fuck this and tell her its not working out, she calls me crying, I feel really bad until my friend says he saw her in a lot of pics with another guy, we talk in the morning and I ask if shes seeing someone else and she says no and I completely believe her, everything is back to normal and we're saying we love each other, 2 days later she goes out with that guy and blocks me off facebook. This girl that was my best friend who I had a thing with for a while went out with someone else and stopped talking to me for 5 months only to randomly start talking to me recently out of no where, as friends, but I think shes doing it to feel better about herself so she doesn't feel like a bitch because she doesn't think actually hanging out is a good idea,. Friends are all alcoholics and keep fucking up all of our plans to see each other unless its drinking which fucks up my plans cause I actually make time for em. I got sent home from work for looking depressed when I work in a fucking warehouse and it shouldn't be anyones business I dont work customer service and they have the nerve to tell my agency I went home without telling anyone so I call them out on it, they say I can go to work on 10-min notice, and I quit. Everyone is bothering me about how I look dead inside and am acting cold recently when I'm normally calm and laid back but lately everything has fucked up to much and way to fast. I don't have anyone to lean on anymore and am just trying to keep my sanity until school starts so I can make new friends and meet a new girl. I just feel really hopeless, I have so much going for myself right now but I can't help it. Materialistic possessions and corrupted societal goals don't give me any comfort in life so I don't know what to look up to when I'm down. All I've ever wanted in life was for people to care about and show that I love them but people just fucking take advantage of me and when they're is something more fun for the moment they hop on that and when its over they come back to me. When this started getting to me I started pushing people away and not taking their shit anymore thinking it would help, maybe in the long run, but now I feel more empty inside than ever. Just to expand on the "Materialistic possessions and corrupted societal goals " part: people try and cheer me up as well as myself saying "oh you're going to the top university in the country, you'll get a job and have tons of cash, you have everything you need, you know tons of people, go get laid play video games or watch a funny movie......." none of that means shit to me unless I have someone I can talk to as a very close friend or a girlfriend, I just need that connection. I gave everyone a huge part of me subconsciously hoping they would treat me the same way, and they did, but it stopped when something else came a long. Weird thing is I saw most if not all of this coming, not exactly in the way it played out the basic idea of what was going to happen, and even then I'm still lost and in complete shock. Some of these issues may seem immature or insignificant to many people readying but you have to understand that this was my world and it completely shattered itself around me to the point where I have nothing, just a perpetual life of meaningless actions which may bleak but it's honestly how I've been feeling lately. I honestly just need to find a way to shake this feeling that a part of me died this year, maybe that only heals with time, but time is passing in an incredibly fast way yet everyday feels longer than the last. I've met another girl and have been talking to her but I just can't shake this physical pain/depression residing in my mind right now, I honestly don't know what to do.
Well, it seems you're going to the early stages of break up still. I used to feel the same way, and I'm pretty sure others do when you say it doesn't matter about materialistic items or your goals without having to share it with someone. Your best bet is to keep yourself busy. Pick up a new hobby, workout, do something to keep yourself busy and interested. It's not worth it to sit by yourself and think things through. Your ultimately better off without those girls (you should note your ex might attempt to contact you again). Time heals everything, and believe me because I went through a similar and horrible breakup. Your going to school. There's plenty of opportunities to meet new people and new friends. Consider it a blessing in disguise in some parts, focus on school and if you play any sports, that too. Your best source of revenge is to have a successful life. Don't go out your way and look for a girl. When the time is ready, a girl will find you. I tried similar situations, and it seems the girls I'm always looking for does not match me, and only when I'm not looking do I stumble on a girl. Just realize that this is a normal human reaction at times, and to just keep your head up. Having a positive physiology will affect your mental state as well.
You're definitely right. I guess I just felt a little differently since I never actually saw her that much, at best once a week. It was a pretty complicated relationship that I couldn't handle with everything going on and that was the outcome but because I rarely saw her I've always been keeping myself busy working out, biking to different cities, and seeing friends so I don't really have more free time I can spend on other things since I've already kept myself busy. I did meet a girl that was going to my university and we've been talking a lot and while it makes me happy it feels like its fake and that I'm not actually happy. I'm sure you're right about it just being a time issue it's just hard to cope when everyone I know is giving me shit for looking depressed/not smiling everywhere I go.
I've been through some bad break-ups, roughly 6 where I felt like this. If you are feeling happy talking to this new girl, go with it man. Just don't charge into the happiness because then you may (probably not cause you seem more levelheaded and emotionally stable then me) think you have strong feelings for someone who is just there. If you're doing all these things, it may be you need to take a break from some things and give yourself some free time to think and cope with what you're feeling. Best of luck man, hope you feel better.
Just realize, you'll be in school so all relationships will be pretty complicated, especially with having time for your significant other. At least you have your priorities straight. Being happy is a choice. Like I said, if you look at things with a positive attitude your whole outlook will change. You hold your head high, and you'll feel different. Things will definitely heal over time, but it does take time, and you'll only heal if you put the effort to make a difference. I know a friend who I feel never got over his ex and it led him to drinking excessively, no job, overweight, etc. Whereas I broke up with my ex around the same time, I was depressed for the longest time, tried suicide, the whole 9-yards. Eventually I decided it wasn't working so I spent my energy into new hobbies and working out. I spent more time around campus meeting new people and friends, while taking the time to figure things out I want in my life. Overall, at this point I'm quite content with my life. Just focus on yourself and everything else will fall into place.
I feel like it's necessary to add that my ex isn't whats bothering me so much, in fact she's pretty low on the list, it was more about everything else with that being the catalyst for me to finally snap the way I did. I do try and think positively and act happy but when I stop putting conscious effort into it I find myself in a naturally bothered/unsettled state that I only realize when someone points it out to me. I literally will feel like I'm happy at some points but someone would tell me I look depressed, then I look in a mirror at the expression I've been having and I look very unsettled. My top issues were friends and work, especially that girl I use to be best friends with then stopped talking to me for 5 months until recently with no explanation. The timing of everything recently has been driving me crazy.
I wrote a really long post in response to your original post and then saw this one, so I'll put aside what I was going to say and address this instead. How long have you been feeling this way? Do you think this was all brought on by the recent events, or do you feel it's been this way for a while? I ask because I get the same responses sometimes-- I will feel like I'm having a good day and happy, and then others will tell me that I look terrible and upset. It's confusing sometimes because as much as we try, we can never really get a full outside view of ourselves. For me and what goes on in my life, I describe it as a form of autism. It's an inability to truly connect with anything so I'm self-regulating my happiness and being that it's so internal, it doesn't get displayed externally; it's actually a medical condition.
Well I've had a pretty rough past 2 and a half years with literally so much change n my life I feel like a different person. I wen't from being this little stoner kid who didn't really put effort into anything into someone who actually puts effort into everything. I started working out and running daily, cut my hair short and refreshed my look, stopped buying cheap clothes and got much nicer brand name sets, studied hard to get into university with a scholarship, and showed the people I care about as much love as I possibly could no matter how they've treated me. Because of all those changes I made everyone I met later on approached me as if I was a different person and it took me a year just to start getting use to it. I've had so much doubt instilled in my mind by people who I thought we're my friends that there was so much I felt like I couldn't do until I realized it myself or someone else showed me. So with that being said I've been having a pretty hectic time lately where I haven't completely known how to act. I've been feeling the way I described for about a month, honestly since me and my ex broke up. I know I said she wasn't the main issue but I remember I was on the phone with a friend 7 in the morning who was drunk debating on going to work and I went on facebook and saw that she got in another relationship and blocked me... my heart kind of stopped at that point and I was in a lot of shock. Then I try shaking it off, go bus off to another city for lunch, then I'm standing at the bus stop to have some girl incessantly honking at me from behind. I turn around and couldn't fucking believe it, it's the girl I use to work with who introduced me to my ex insisting on giving me a ride home. I was just debating talking to her about this and decided not to and as soon as I make that decision she's right behind me. So I was basically in ten times more shock in her car because of how tripped out I was and my minds been a little fucked ever since. I don't think I've ever had an emotional pain that feels so physical in my mind that I couldn't shake off.
Sorry bro, tl;dr. But here's my two cents for what I did read. Stop going balls deep for this girl please. You seem like a forgiving guy or you may just like her that much but regardless if she's known to be a "b*tch" then why deal with her when you can have someone else that's more worthy?
Sounds like you just need to find a new chick to blow you. I'm sure you can do it. Just fuck something and see how you feel. Worst thing that can happen is you will be in the same spot you are now. Say yes to life...and open legs
I've been there bro. She's not worth it, trust me, I was bumming over my ex for a month, I'm not gonna lie, I felt like I was going to cry, First girl I actually loved, I lost my virginity to her, in my eyes she had no flaws, I actually loved her, I treated her like gold, and one day she just ended if over text. Next day at school she started screaming at me and hitting me for no reason Infront of a huge crowd of people. I just stood there and took it, I looked straight in her eyes and thought wow. I love this girl. She's still in the back of my mind, and texted me earlier today saying we should get back together. I met a girl a few nights ago and I just got back from a date with her, life goes on, and I'm actually falling for her. Love sucks, you just have to keep going until you find the one worth crying over, the one worth it all. And trust me man, if this is how she treats you, she's not even worth your emotions or time. You'll move on eventually, so why not now?