I think I just got raped... by a fly.

Discussion in 'General' started by psychoro, Sep 4, 2013.

  1. So yeah, a fly just flew in my ear and started buzzing about and I couldn't get it out. Now I'm paranoid it's laid eggs in there because I read about a woman somewhere who had that happen and she could hear the fly larvae munching their way into her skull.

    I don't want to be nanny/lunch to some ass hole flies degenerate children just because it didn't want to take responsibility for them. Anybody have any ideas how I might get rid of them if they're in there? I don't want to take any chances.

    I feel so violated...
     
  2. Happens to me all the time, just enjoy it as they buzz sweet nothings in your ear.
     
  3. Hold your head under water, then put your cell phone up to your ear (while still underwater) and itll electrocute the larva to death.

    Sent from my DROID X2 using Grasscity Forum mobile app

     
  4. Good plan, though I have a bunch of 12v batteries in front of me so I might just wire them up and use them. That should do the trick.
     
  5. You should sue. Call the rape lawyers at 1-888-uh8-rape, that's 1-888-848-7273
     
  6. #6 Carne Seca, Sep 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2013
    It may have shit in your ear.   Mix some hydrogen peroxide with water.  50% water and 50% hydrogen peroxide.  Use warm water.  Tilt your head, pour it in, freak the fuck out when it starts sizzling in your ear for the next 2-3 minutes, place a towel around your ear as you drain the liquid and possible fly shit out.  Voila! She is done. 
     
  7. Maggots only eat rotting flesh, so I wouldn't worry about them growing in you and eating your brain. The only risk you might face is if it introduced microorganisms into your ear canal.
     
  8. Nice knowing you OP
     
  9. I pour lighter fluid in my ear and set the lil buggers on fire!
     
  10. #10 psychoro, Sep 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2013
    Right, that's it! I'm not gonna let these fuckers take my hearing or make me put chemicals in my ear to flush them out. I'll get rid of them with good ol' fashioned firepower!

    *grabs handgun and places the barrel to his ear*

    BANG!






    Thud.
     
  11. The fly is laughing about this
     
  12. #13 zebracakes, Sep 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2013
    if you funnel something flammable into your ear canal and then drop a match in there you should be good
    make sure you have someone spotting you in case the fire gets out of hand, have some water on hand maybe a fire extinguisher depending on the flammable substance. water makes grease fires bigger, so avoid using a grease fire for this or be aware of the fact that dousing it in water will just make it worse!!
     
    oh and if you try this method let us know what happens pls id love to hear ur story
     
  13. I felt horribly violated the first time I got my prostate checked. Just sayin'
     
  14. *suddenly the ghost of psychoro appears*

    So you think the little guy was just trying to give me an ear exam? I feel so bad for swearing at the little bugger knowing he was just trying to help...
     
  15. it probably just took a shit in your ear.
     
     
  16. HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MY BRAND NEW NEVER BEFORE SEEN PRODUCT! ABORT-A-BUG!, PESKY FLY LAY EGGS IN YOUR DOME AND YOU'RE WORRIED THEY MIGHT EAT YOUR BRAIN AND POSSIBLY BECOME SUPER INTELLIGENT?- WELL NOT ANYMORE! BUT THATS NOT ALL, ORDER NOW AND I'LL ALSO THROW IN, THE EAR DIAPHRAGM! NO MORE RAPE HUNGRY INSECTS TRYING TO DO IT IN YOUR EAR CANAL! CALL NOW!
     
  17. Oh my god, I literally cannot stop laughing.
     

Share This Page