Ok blades, I'm stuck here and I just don't know what to do anymore. I dated this a girl(we'll call her A) a few years ago and I fell in love with her. We were together for a year and a half and I can honestly say that I had never been happier with anyone. We just had this connection with each other that I never felt with anyone else. Long story short, I went off to college and she wasn't ready for a long distance relationship (even though she only lives an hour away). She completely blindsides me with the breakup. I had no idea it was coming, I thought everything was fine. We weren't fighting or anything, there was nothing to suggest that this was coming. Anyway, after a long and seriously heart-wrenching month during which she did a lot of fucked up things to me, I finally accepted that she was gone. We kind of lost touch for awhile, but about 8 months later she starts texting me and saying how sorry she was for everything she did. She kept telling me that she still loved me and if i could just give her another chance, she would never hurt me like that again. I told her that I wasn't over what she did so I couldn't get into a relationship but I was fine with being friends and seeing where that led. She agreed. A few months later she begins dating some guy. He ends up cheating on her and when she tried to break up with him he was drunk and beat the shit out of her. So she leaves him and calls me up crying and telling me everything that happened. I wanted to kill that motherfucker. She left him and we started talking more. Anyway, a little over a month ago I went out with her and some friends. I got REALLY fucked up and we ended up having a conversation about our relationship. She broke down and told me all of her feeling towards me and how not a day goes by where I don't cross her mind. She said a bunch of other shit that I can't remember because I was so fucked up but thats about the gist of it. Since then, I can't stop thinking about her. We've been talking more and more lately and I've been thinking a lot about how things used to be. I keep re-evaluating everything and wondering if maybe I should give her another chance. Every time I've been with other girls, she's always in the back of my mind. I just can't shake it. A few days ago, I found out that she's been seeing some guy. They're not dating yet but it seems like it won't be long before they are. I can feel that old pain again. My heart is aching at the thought of her being with someone else and I hate it. It's been awhile since I've felt like this and I just want it to stop. I want to be with her but I'm just not sure if I can trust her. Now I feel like she's been leading me on with all this shit about how she still loves me and leaving me was the biggest mistake she's ever made. I finally admitted to myself that I still love her. I was just starting to open up to her again and now she's seeing someone else. So I've been wondering, should I just stop being friends with her? I feel like as long as I'm in contact with her, these feeling will just linger and continue making me depressed. But the thought of never seeing her again tears me apart. I just don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Please guys, any advice you could give me would be appreciated.
Dude you said it yourself, she leads you on. If she tells you she loves you, its the biggest mistake ever to have put you through this and that, I'm pretty sure your dealing with a bitch. I recommend cutting contact and all, but not before giving her a piece of your mind. Gl.
I am in almost the exact reverse situation right now. My girlfriend and I dated for about 2 1/2 years before I broke up with her for being bitchy. I dated another girl for a little while after which I began talking to my ex again. She wanted to date again, but I was about to transfer, increasing the distance between us from a 30 minute drive to 3 hours, so I told her we couldn't. I dated another girl for a little while, broke up, then recently started talking to my ex again. I have learned a lot from my experiences after our first break-up and have come to care about her much more than I had before, but she is hesitant to believe me because of the times i've hurt her in the past. I'm sure there are many variables that differ in your situation which must be considered but in my situation I am being completely sincere. I'm aware that she thinks i've done a lot of really shitty things to her, but honestly most of those feelings are rooted in her misinterpretations of certain situations. I'd say that my situation is probably more of a special case in such a scenario, but be careful before dropping her altogether.
There is no misinterpretation in our situation. She knows she fucked me over and has apologized for it MANY times. I told her when we started being friends again that if she could show me she's changed and that I could trust her again, I would be willing to start another relationship with her. But she hasn't really done that. She makes the same type of self-destructive choices she did before. She's manipulative man, and she knows how to tell a convincing lie. But would you tell your girl you still love her and that you want to be with her, and then a month later start seeing someone else? Even though you know she's torn and is struggling to come to a conclusion? It's this type of thing that makes me wonder if she really still loves me, or if she just wants me back because I treated her better than anyone she's ever been with. Thanks for your input though I appreciate it. It sucks that we're both going through this shit. Good luck with your situation man.
Dude its so easy. Just tell her straight up what and how you feel. 'bitch, you aint supposed to be runnin around to other man whores, while you use me as your punchbag. im tried of the shit, either you stop doing what your doing, or im done with this and with you. simple as that, you understand bitch?' in other words of c
Thats tough man. I had a similiar situation a few years back. Me and this girl dated for 2 years, and it was great the first year or so then started breaking down, but it still was manageable and enjoyable. Eventually we both did things we shouldnt have (which we both admitted), but in the end it didnt work and I broke it off for good (we'd be on/off for like the last 3 months of of our relationship). And the last time I talked to her was about 2 years ago, alittle while after I graduated high school. Even to this day I think about her alot. Whenever someone has her name, she instantly springs into my head. She tried to re-contact me, but I ended up shooting her down because I wasnt over how things went down. But I regret that a great deal. I always think about her, even to this day even though I'm sure she's moved on completely by now. I wish I could talk to her again, I just cant bring myself to do it for alot of reasons, the main reason being she used to be really self-destructive and I'm betting thats only gotten worse with her, and things couldnt ever really be the same as I remember them (even though I'm sure I could easily get ahold of her, she lives in the same small town I do). I cant say exactly how your situation is, but really give it alot of thought before you totally break it off with her. I'm not saying what you should do either way, but don't do anything "in-the-moment" as it were. You might regret it when it's too late to go back, like I do. It's way worse than atleast trying to maintain a friendship, even if it's shitty. If you straight up ask her if shes jerking you around, you might get a straight answer. If the answer is no, ask why shes seeing someone else after what she told you. Really think through what she says and try to sort out what shes saying and what she actually means, and if its the same thing. I'm not saying dont cut it off, I'm just suggesting you don't do it just being rash and quick to your conclusion. Also keep in mind that sometimes when people think about past relationships, they tend to only dwell on the good parts of it. They always seem to forget the arguments and hard times that made them split in the first place, and think it was all cheery and good, when usually thats not the entire truth. Like I said, I can't suggest much since I dont know specifics, but I've learned never to burn bridges, especially with people I still have feelings for, even if it's tough sometimes. You never know what could happen down the road if you stay in touch atleast. Just sayin'.
Dude I had a chick do this type of shit to me when I got my first weekend out of rehab, only she was seeing how things went with one of my best friends who I introduced her to, to take care of her cause she had no friends out there. Fuck her man, she's going to do it over and over, bitches are heartless. She even had the nerve to lie to my face after saying they didn't fuck when my "friend" was right there beside her saying they did.